showerhead

So yeah. Rose Cookies.

This isn’t your usual power fantasy or deep character study. It’s just… something that came out of my brain—and maybe yours too.

Keanu, the guy you’re reading about, isn’t really a person. He doesn’t have a personality, no tragic backstory, no moral compass. He’s just there. Walking, talking, smiling. And then suddenly—violence. Out of nowhere.

Why? Because sometimes, life just pushes people. You keep swallowing the little stuff—awkward silences, fake laughs, getting ignored, getting talked over, being the nice one. Over and over. And then one day, something in you snaps… or at least, wants to.

Not gonna lie, a lot of these scenes are born from real stories. Not the stabbings, obviously, but the feelings. Stuff I’ve gone through. Stuff people have told me. That quiet, helpless frustration when you just sit there thinking, “Why do I keep letting this happen?” And maybe, for a second, your brain throws out the worst possible solution just to see how it feels.

Keanu is that. He’s not a person. He’s an impulse. He’s what happens when all that built-up patience finally tips.

Some chapters will be hilarious. Some will be disturbing. Some will make zero sense. That’s intentional. Life doesn’t stick to genre rules, so neither does this.

Thanks for reading. Or hate-reading. Or doomscrolling (I sincerely doubt that) your way into this mess. I’m writing it like a fever dream and trying to surprise myself, so if it gets weird, don’t say I didn’t warn you.

– Sincerely,
Showerhead

Rose Cookies

[Scene: Ye Tavern of the Twisted Bramble – Afternoon]

SIR BALTHAZAR (real name Kyle, 19):

"Hark, fellow traveler! Dost thou seeketh a quest?"

KEANU (wearing a brown hoodie and a Burger King crown):

MAIDEN WILLOW (real name Kaylee, 22) (leans over the faux ale barrel):

"Thy voice is dark as cursed obsidian, stranger. Might I tempt thee with thine ale and… alliance?"

"Oh! I—I'm a rogue bard with persuasion perks."

(everyone laughs, assuming it's a bit. Keanu smiles politely.)

WILLOW (playfully bumping his shoulder):

"You're really good at staying in character."

"Pfft, okay edgy warlock, show me your 'dark magic.'"

(she grins, does finger sparkles.)

(he reaches into his hoodie. A flicker of steel. One clean strike. Right through the chainmail corset. She drops.)

KEANU (stepping back onto the main trail):

"Bro! That kill animation was insane! Is that homebrew rules?"

"He left the woods with a turkey leg in one hand and blood on the other. Balance, as all things should be."

Ye olde neckstab