Chapter 4: Boss Fight - Karaoke Rules Apply

**4:17 PM – Dungeon Entrance**

The city park bandstand had transformed into something out of a psychedelic nightmare. The wooden structure now pulsed with an eerie violet light, its roof stretched upward into an impossible spiral. From within, the distant sound of a carnival waltz mixed with something that sounded suspiciously like a theremin being played by an angry ghost.

A crowd of newly-powered "heroes" had gathered at the entrance, arguing over strategy.

"Alright, listen up!" A muscle-bound guy in football pads clapped his hands like a gym teacher herding toddlers. "I'm a Level 8 Berserker—I'll tank. Mages in the back, healers middle. We go in standard formation—"

Jayden yawned and walked straight past him into the glowing portal.

"Hey! You can't just—"

The world dissolved into glitter and bad decisions.

The dungeon interior was what happened when a carnival mated with an M.C. Escher painting. Cotton candy clouds floated overhead, the ground was checkerboard linoleum that occasionally flipped gravity, and the scent of popcorn and despair hung thick in the air.

**[Welcome to: Carnivus's Big Top of Eternal Torment]**

**[Recommended Level: 10]**

**[Your Level: ERROR]**

Jayden whistled. "Someone didn't get enough hugs as a child."

A shadow loomed. Then a voice boomed from above, dripping with mock cheer:

*"WELCOME, LITTLE MEAT-SACK! TIME TO PLAY!"*

The **boss** descended from the ceiling on a unicycle—a fifteen-foot-tall clown doll with porcelain skin cracked like old china, its rictus grin stitched together with glowing barbed wire. It juggled three objects that looked suspiciously like live grenades.

**[Carnivus the Unending – Lvl 12 Dungeon Boss]**

**[Warning: Do Not Taunt Happy Fun Clown]**

Jayden eyed the karaoke machine in the corner.

*"Oh hell yes."*

Carnivus cackled, tossing a grenade.

Jayden dove behind the karaoke machine as the explosion sent wooden shards flying. The screen flickered to life:

**♫ SELECT YOUR SONG OF DOOM ♫**

Jayden scrolled through options. *"Hmm. Too obvious... too boring... ah!"*

His finger landed on **"Like a Prayer" by Madonna**.

The clown paused mid-juggle. *"...What are you doing?"*

Jayden grabbed the mic.

**[Freakish Act Detected: Unholy Audition]**

**[Effect: Summoning backup singers from the abyss]**

The ground split open. Three **demonic choir girls** in tattered choir robes clawed their way out, their voices harmonizing perfectly despite the fact that one was missing her lower jaw.

Carnivus's grin twitched. *"That's not how this works!"*

Jayden hit the high note. The chandelier above the clown shattered.

*"ENOUGH!"* Carnivus bellowed, swiping at Jayden.

Jayden ducked, then squinted at the clown's face. *"Dude. Your nose is on backwards."*

*"WHAT? No it's—"* The clown hesitated, touching its red foam nose.

**[Freakish Act Detected: Gaslighting]**

**[Effect: Target now questions fundamental aspects of its existence]**

*"Seriously, it's all wrong,"* Jayden said, shaking his head sadly. *"No wonder kids cry when they see you."*

Carnivus let out a wounded noise and fumbled with its nose. *"I—I've had this nose for 300 years!"*

*"And you never noticed? Yikes."*

The clown began hyperventilating.

Seizing the moment, Jayden kicked the karaoke machine into **"Uptown Funk"**.

**[Freakish Act Detected: Rhythm-Based Combat]**

**[Effect: All attacks now sync to the beat. +50% Style Points]**

What followed was the most ridiculous boss fight in dungeon history.

Jayden **moonwalked** under a grenade.

**Twirled** past a swinging giant fist.

**Hit the dougie** as the demonic choir girls formed a kickline.

Carnivus, now fully disoriented, tripped over its own unicycle.

*"FINISH HIM!"* the backup singers screeched.

Jayden grabbed a stray juggling pin and **tapped the clown's forehead**.

*"Boop."*

**[DUNGEON CLEARED]**

**[Rewards: 0 XP (ERROR), 1x Cursed Whoopee Cushion, System Admin's Eternal Rage]**

As the dungeon dissolved around him, Jayden caught a final notification:

**[System Admin Notified]**

**[Prepare For Compliance Review]**

He smirked, adjusting his imaginary sunglasses.

*"Bring it on."*