GhostOfGun

When the **System** assimilates Earth into a game-like reality, granting superhuman abilities to everyone, Jayden "Freak" Malone gets the most broken power of all—[Freak Mode].  

"Rules? Stats? LOL. Do whatever you want." 

Now, the more unpredictable and absurd Jayden acts, the stronger he becomes. Punch a dragon? His fists gain anti-dragon properties. Insult a god? Temporary divine resistance. Eat a cursed sandwich? Poison immunity (and weird cravings).  

Armed with sheer chaos, Jayden trolls his way through dungeons, breaks quests, and turns epic battles into glitch-filled comedy shows. The System hates him, villains regret facing him, and his party members question their life choices.  

From taunting demon lords with a frying pan to accidentally becoming a meme-powered deity, Jayden’s journey is one insane exploit after another.  

Humor meets OP madness in this anti-System adventure where the only rule is— there are no rules.

Note:- This is a deliberately absurd, nonsensical comedy logic, coherence, and the laws of reality have all taken a vacation. Proceed at your own risk."

Note:- Chapter are going to be super short so don't complain.

Rise Of The Freak

**9:15 AM - Help Wanted (Mostly Because We're Helpless)**

Jayden stood in front of the newly erected "Adventurer's Guild" bulletin board, squinting at the least professional help-wanted ad he'd ever seen:

- Must tolerate constant reality glitches

The flyer was signed with a ketchup thumbprint.

"Perfect," Jayden muttered, just as three shadows fell over him.

The first applicant extended a claw.

"Greetings! I am Simon the Arcane!"

**[Affliction: Permanent Crustacean Conjuration]**

Jayden watched as Simon attempted to cast a frostbolt—only for a live lobster to materialize and clamp onto his nose.

"Gah! Not again!" Simon flailed, the lobster waving its claws menacingly.

The second applicant stood at rigid attention, her armor so polished Jayden could see his own dumbfounded reflection in her breastplate.

"Sir! I am Sister Beatrice of the Order of Absolute Clarity!"

**[Trait: Zero Sarcasm Comprehension]**

Jayden rubbed his chin. "Alright, Beatrice. Smite that evil!" He pointed at a nearby fire hydrant.

Without hesitation, Beatrice dropkicked the hydrant, unleashing a geyser that drenched a passing nun.

Jayden wiped water from his face. "Welcome aboard."

The third applicant materialized in a puff of frustrated static, now crammed into a very tight business casual ensemble.

**[Former System Admin - Lvl ∞ Paper Pusher]**

**[Current Status: Mortal & Pissed]**

"I hate you," the Admin said, adjusting its tie. "The Council has sentenced me to 'understand your nonsense' as punishment."

Jayden grinned. "So you're like our... *quest giver* now?"

The Admin's eye twitched. "I will end you."

"Team bonding!" Jayden clapped. "First mission—retrieve the McGuffin of Normalcy!"

The McGuffin—a glowing orb that supposedly "fixed" anomalies—sat on a pedestal in the center of the Library of Reason.

"Alright, team," Jayden whispered as they crouched behind a bookshelf. "Simon, create a distraction."

Simon nodded, casting his spell—only for a **rain of shrimp** to pour from the ceiling.

**[Freakish Act Detected: Seafood Surprise]**

**[Librarians are now confused but well-fed]**

While the scholars slipped on crustaceans, Beatrice charged. "I SHALL RETRIEVE THE ORB OF—"

Too late. Three **Rationality Golems** peeled from the walls, their textbook-formed bodies creaking.

Jayden sighed, then grabbed the McGuffin—and immediately plopped his beer on it.

**[McGuffin of Normalcy has been repurposed as a coaster]**

**[Effect: All nearby enemies now crave nachos]**

The golems paused, then shuffled toward the library cafe.

The Admin put its head in its hands. "I quit."

Chapter 6: The Misfit Brigade