Chapter 73

Walking out of Daiken's office, I was still distracted. My mind couldn't hold onto or focus on a single thought. It felt like trying to hold water as it slipped between my fingers, so eventually I just stopped thinking entirely.

Another instructor escorted me toward the classroom for the written exam. The questions were challenging, filled with advanced knowledge, complicated calculations essential for making sure you didn't accidentally throw a kunai at your allies, and tricky strategic scenarios. Even so, I breezed through the exam. My academic level was worlds apart from when I took my first one. Once Shizuru jump-started my brain, the exam felt like sailing on calm waters.

As soon as the exam ended, the gang gathered around me. Shizuru sighed, her voice resigned. "I guess you'll rank first again," she said, though her eyes revealed she wanted to talk about something else.

Genta slapped me on the back, laughing loudly. "I, on the other hand, still have hope I'll outrank you! Otherwise, Daiken-sensei will..." His gaze grew distant, clearly imagining the hellish training awaiting him.

Sena smoothly interrupted, "How about we go out to eat again once the ranks are announced? Let's celebrate and take our minds off another tough year."

I mentally gave her a thumbs-up. Shizuru and Genta immediately agreed, their faces brightening. Even with my mind in chaos, I'd never, ever refuse free food.

Walking home afterward, I barely noticed anything around me. Ever since the Kaen incident, I hadn't felt like myself. I reached my flat absently, closing the door behind me and collapsing onto the floor, staring up at the mural on my ceiling. Peace came in gentle waves as my thoughts slowly quieted down. I closed my eyes, drifting into a restless sleep.

I woke up feeling groggy. My head was clear, but not in a good way. It felt muted, blank, empty. Panic crept in as I recognized the signs. Looking at the mural still helped, but now a deeper fear emerged. What if a day came when it wouldn't? What if a feeling strong enough to push me past the edge appeared? The thought terrified me, shaking pillars of my personality I had believed were fixed. If those collapsed, who would I be? Would I even exist?

Determined not to linger on that frightening thought, I forced myself to move. I took a shower, got ready, and nearly ran out of my flat, like I was escaping the darkness itself.

When I arrived at the Academy, I met Shizuru's parents, who welcomed me warmly. Their smiles faded when they noticed my muted reaction.

"Are you alright, Noa?" Misayo asked softly, worry in her voice.

"Not really," I admitted honestly. Seeing their concerned looks deepen, I quickly added, "But if things don't get better or start to feel overwhelming, I promise I'll come to your place."

That seemed to comfort them slightly, and Shizuru's worried expression changed into one of determination. It looked like I'd be doing a lot of walking with her in the next few days.

As we entered the classroom, the gazes of students and parents locked onto me once more. Déjà vu. This time, however, their stares held respect. They had heard what happened, and the idea that an orphan had defeated a kid from one of Konoha's strongest clans in an all in fight was a proven fact. After ranking first last year, they knew it wasn't a fluke. I was the real deal.

Just like last year, it was Sena the clan members approached first. She handled them with the polished charm of a seasoned diplomat, though she still never told me what they really wanted. Either she didn't think it warranted my attention or was deliberately manipulating the clans behind the scenes. Knowing Sena, it was probably the second scenario. But I didn't really mind. I wasn't interested in joining any clan and living under their rules and traditions. However, I had no problem with Sena using them to shield me from Root without knowing it, they haven't approached me since. Whatever she was doing, it seemed to be working.

After a brief speech from Daiken, we were informed of our ranks. Genta ranked second, while I ranked first again, as expected. Genta's smile fell immediately under Daiken's terrifying gaze, he looked like he was crying deep inside, knowing exactly what awaited him.

Something new happened though, several clan parents approached me directly, shaking my hand, congratulating me, and encouraging me to keep supporting the village in the future. I smiled politely, nodding, answering their praise with practiced, empty words.

Once the ceremony was finished, I was escorted again to Daiken's office. After a quick walk, we made it to his office. He took one look at my face and sighed deeply, noticing my obvious struggle.

"You still look troubled," he said gently. His eyes softened. "Do you want to talk about it? Believe it or not, I'm familiar with those feelings."

I shook my head slowly. Daiken was wise, but my issues ran deeper than simple resolve or deciding my path. My struggles stemmed from the clash of who I had been in my past life and who I was becoming now. It wasn't something easily shared.

Seeing my reluctance, Daiken wisely decided not to press further. Instead, he leaned back slightly, shifting the mood. "Well, maybe this can cheer you up. Since you ranked first for the second year in a row, you deserve a reward. Ask for anything, jutsu, specialized training, whatever you want. I'll make sure you get it."

Normally, the idea of free things would make me smile, but this time it felt like trying to move a spoon through thick honey. I didn't force it. Instead, I met his eyes seriously. "I want to learn a clone jutsu."

Daiken raised an eyebrow. "You've already mastered the Clone Jutsu."

"Not the illusory kind," I clarified. "Tangible clones."

The air suddenly felt heavier, Daiken's eyes narrowing. "Explain."

I quickly continued, "In the library, a few scrolls mentioned tangible clones. One scroll even hinted that the writer had used them extensively, doing mass trial and error to invent, test, and master the jutsu quickly. I searched everywhere, but the exact technique was never clearly named."

Daiken leaned back, carefully examining my expression before relaxing slightly. "You're describing a forbidden jutsu." He paused, then asked cautiously, "Why exactly do you want to learn that particular technique?"

I took a deep breath. "Fuinjutsu requires an enormous amount of trial, error, and repetition. Learning it the traditional way would take too long. I'd be old before mastering anything truly powerful. Besides, solid clones could provide immense tactical support in battles, unlike simple illusions."

Daiken nodded thoughtfully. "While I don't recommend relying on this technique for fuinjutsu, your other reasoning makes sense. However, you must know, the jutsu you're talking about requires massive chakra reserves. It splits your chakra evenly among all clones, making you vulnerable. Many shinobi have died after creating too many clones and exhausting their chakra reserves, leaving themselves defenseless."

I gulped but kept my resolve. "I'm confident in my chakra reserves. I'll be extremely careful. You trusted me with fuinjutsu, sensei. Trust me again here. Like with fuinjutsu, I won't disappoint."

Daiken stared at me silently, clearly weighing the feedback he'd gotten from Master Shuzo and what he knew of my capabilities. Finally, he sighed. "Flare your chakra. Don't hold back even an ounce. I want to see your absolute limit."

I nodded and stepped back, planting my feet firmly.

One deep breath.

Then I released everything.

My chakra surged outward, raw, pure, heavy. The walls groaned faintly under the pressure. Dust stirred gently from the shelves, papers rustled softly on his desk. I didn't embellish it or try to impress him further. Just my raw chakra, at its unrestrained peak.

Daiken's eyes widened momentarily in disbelief, then he quickly reshaped his expression into carefully controlled excitement. After a few seconds, I slowly drew my chakra back in.

Silence filled the office.

Finally, Daiken muttered softly, "That's not the chakra of a mere student." He looked me over again, then gave a decisive nod. "Alright. I'll speak with Hokage-sama. If it goes well, I'll bring the jutsu scroll to your place tomorrow."

I nodded quietly. Even if he hadn't approved anything yet, the look in his eyes when I flared my chakra was enough. For the first time, it felt like my true strength had been seen, and it felt great.