Chapter Eighteen

I stayed indoors with Andra for the rest of the day. We were quiet most of the time and I felt like I was going to be alright. The next morning, I didn't attend any class. I could not bring myself to. Besides, I still felt sick, Andra had said I look so much pale. I didn't want to cause any more controversy about my looks. It was late afternoon when I heard a knock on the door and went to get it. It was Damien. I almost slammed the door back on his face. He was the last person I wanted to see. I felt miserable. The last time we talked he had warned me to stay away from him. He looked elegant as usual. His hair... I would learn to take my eyes off it. His eyes were unusually saggy but they only made him better. 

If only I could...

"Hi Paige"He smiled.

"Hi"

I expected him to say something, at least the reason he had knocked on my door but he just stood there, staring into me. I suddenly became self conscious. My hair is a mess, I look so sick, Andra said that earlier. Why did I answer the door?

"What do you want?"I broke the awkward silence.

"I heard you came back yesterday." Then he stopped, still staring. I wished I had the guts to tell him to stop.

"So?"

"You didn't come out for our morning lessons."

Now he's sounding like a class monitor again. Paige, guard your heart, he's just a jerk.

"I didn't."

"May I... Come in?"

"Why?"

"You won't let me in?"

"It's girls room. Guys aren't allowed. I won't. What you want?"

I saw him smile. "You were at the... I have to fulfill my dare. I'm spending a day with you, Paige."

Gross.

Stupid.

Bad time.

Why me?!

"That's impossible"I breathed out.

"It is. Besides, I need to keep my position."

So this is about the consequences, not because he...

Gush Damien, who the hell do you think I am?!

"Why did you even choose you? Were you high or something?"

"Maybe. Maybe not."He said. "Let's go out. Somewhere. In the wood. If not your room."

"No!"I didn't intend to scream that loud. Andra who had been startled by my noise joined us at the door.

"Oh look who we have here."

"Hi Andra"Damien waved at her.

She waved back with a broad smile.

"Are you guys fighting? Why did you scream that loud Paige?"

Damien was awed. "You heard that?"

"Yeah" she blushed "Through vibration."

"That's good and unique."

"Yeah. Thanks."Andra turned to me. "Is everything alright?"

"I asked her to go out with me. Will it be okay be you, Andra?"

"Of course! Paige, go have fun! "

"Andra!"I shrieked.

"Fine, I'm sorry but..."

"I'm not going out with anyone. I want to be alone. Period!"I was about to slam the door then I noticed Andra's hand was on the door frame. I'll break her fingers if I slam it hard. I had to stop.

"But calm down!"Andra said.

"Are you shy of me?"Damien asked.

"I'm not!"

"Prove it then."

I groaned a little. Andra winked at me severally. Then I gave up. Maybe just maybe, he'd be able to o take my pain away.

I got dressed and followed him. We were quiet, my mind wasn't anyways. It was a mixture of my fantasies and fears and something else that I feel when I'm around him. That sense of wholeness, I feel like I have a hope. A hope. My plastered wrist was hidden beneath my pull over and the other cuts on my body ached but I still felt a little peace. 

"Andra is cute."He finally broke the long silence with that vague statement. I guess he was just trying to bring up small talks.i said nothing.

"It's been a long time since I walked amidst trees. Since we moved into that estate."

"Oh I almost forgot. You're my neighbor. Is that the window of your room?"

This conversation is weird.

"Yeah." I swallowed.

"Am I being a talkative?"

"You haven't said much."

I kind of wanted to continue the talk. His voice...

 "You've never been with a girl alone?"

"Huh... Do I look like I've not?"

"You... You were accused of being gay."

"Do you think I am? I know I'm handsome but am I that beautiful to be gay?"

Is he flirting...

"Huh, tell me."

"I...what...you..." He wanted to touch my hair but I flinched. What's with guys and my hair.

"What?"

"I don't like men touching my hair."

He smiled. "So now, I'm a man to you?"

"You're a man anyways." I said. I needed to change the topic. "Have you talked to Liam?"

Talking about hope, I was already thinking about the project. Seems like things would be better for me. It's Damien. Yes, I know who holds my peace. But I'm so scared.

"You apologised. He talked to me instead. You did the right thing Paige. I'm proud of you."

That didn't sound like a compliment, I kept my straight face.

"You rarely smile."

"And you stare a lot. Stop staring at me."

"You look nervous. Are you scared of being watched or something?"

I didn't expect that. 

"You should stop staring at me. It's not comfortable."

"Why? Why are you not comfortable? Why shouldn't I stare?"

"What are you even saying? "

"Do you know why I'm staring at you?"

I shook my head.

"You look sick. Even your gait."

"You're crazy!"I spat, already pissed.

"I'm sorry."He paused. I was touched and he must have noticed that. "Why did you leave? "

"Leave. I'm back now anyway. And why do you care?"

"Hey." He stopped moving and I did too. I could not help but stare into his jaunting grey eyes. "This might sound strange but I'm worried about you. Tell someone if you're sick. You can't hide everything. You can't live alone all the time. Besides, you can't afford to get hurt, cause some people would be hurt if you do. Your eyes..."

I had to stop him.

"Will you stop?!" I said. "I don't understand what you are saying."