Chapter Nineteen

"Will you stop?!"I said. "I don't understand what you're saying."

"I can't explain. Forget it."He started to move. I could not help but think. Did he just say he was worried?

"You have to explain. You're spending the rest of the day with me. I have to understand every word you say."

"You don't want to know."

"I do."I murmured.

"Well... I just can't explain. You just think about it."

I winced. "Do you know how annoying you are?!"

He only smiled.

"First, you say I'm sick and then you acknowledge the way I walk, like you were watching me the whole time."I paused to catch my breath. "Then you say you're worried about me?! What the hell?!"

"What?"He questioned. I knew I was blabbering but I suddenly felt like I had no reason to be shy since we were deep in the woods. It's the only moment I have.

"It's weird. You're acting too weird!" I added.

"That's understandable. It should be."He said. "It's my first time alone with Paige Kam."

"Or other girls. Are you really gay?"

He laughed. "Is Paige Kam the same with other girls?"

I wished I understood his question.

"Tell me. Why would you believe I'm gay?"

"I didn't say..."

He stopped, right in front of me. It was so sudden that I adjusted my eyeglasses and bit my lip to obtain my balance. He was staring intently at me.

"Why... what..."I tried to speak but my guts betrayed me.

"You..."He began. "I actually thought it'd be hell spending time with a girl. I mean the "dare" but it isn't. I know you think I hate you. I wish I could..."

"That picture..."We echoed. He laughed and I guessed he was laughing at how funny I looked.

"You first."He moved even closer. I froze. I was quiet, probably trembling. What is he doing to me? I tried to keep my eyes away from his face, his hair especially, so tempting.

"You were saying something. Go on."

"That picture...ehm"I literally lost my line of thought. "It's nothing. I... can't remember what I wanted to say."

"Look at me. Stop staring at the ground, maybe you won't forget if you do."

I didn't respond.

"That picture. It was an accident but..."He paused. "I kept it cause I like it."

"Huh?"I shouldn't have raised my head. I just wanted to be sure I wasn't dreaming. It's Damien Smith. Is he drunk?! He held my chin high up and stared into me. Our eyes locked and I didn't want to leave...

"It was cute. You were... I actually wish we kissed then. Then the whole trouble wouldn't be a waste. Paige, I love your glasses." He took them away and I didn't stop him. Paige! I could only see his face in a blur and I kinda liked that. It helped my senses a bit. I saw him place the glass on my head, playful tucking the stubborn tendrils of my hair behind them.

 "Better."He smiled.

"I can barely see without them."

"I know. It's not far away."

I was sweating and fidgeting. I tried to control myself but I couldn't. I saw flashbacks and in their midst I saw Damien. I didn't know what to make of them. I was lost in the abyss of my own darkness once again and this time I wished I could come out of it real quick before it consumed me. I also wished Damien understood.

"What? You look... Are you scared of me now?"

I didn't answer. I just couldn't.

"You're not scared."He laughed. "You look more beautiful though. Gush! I'd not be the same if I'd never see you again. What did you do to me huh? I'm sorry but I really want to kiss you right now."

He smiled.

"May I?"

Well, I didn't hear all that. I just saw an angelic face with an angelic smile wink at me as he brought his face closer to mine. I felt the need to protect myself. I was lost in this darkness that even I didn't understand. Like a reflex action, I moved away from him, screaming out my confusion. I felt insane. My brain... It ached. My being, shook. I was walking away without my glasses. I heard feint footsteps from behind but I just didn't care. I was losing it and I needed to be far away from anyone.

Bang!

I tripped over a log and tell hard on my face. I heard my glasses crack then I remembered they were still on my head. Then I felt a warm hand on my shoulders. I still couldn't picture where I was. In my own little world I saw someone else.

"Paige!"His voice was distressed. 

"Let go of me!"I screamed.

He was quiet for a while, probably thinking.

"PTSD."he said. "Yes, PTSD. Oh goodness, what do I do?!"

"Paige, can you hear me?"

"Stay! Away! From me!" My face was buried in the dust, eyes shut. "You're a demon. I hate you! Get away from me. I'm done with you. Get away!"

Damien had to find a way, a smartie like him.

"Paige, you are just having a flashback. It is not real. Wake up! Look up! Oh my! I should have known."

"Paige!"

I finally had the guts to open my eyes and I saw him, sitting by my side, in a blur though. I fought for breathe while he helped me with my half broken glasses.

"I'm Damien. We are out here. In the woods. We were talking. You were triggered. But look around. It isn't real. Just breathe, everything's going to be fine."

I cried.

I felt safe. I felt pain too but I wasn't too concerned about them, but for the pair of grey eyes staring into me.

With Damien's help, I got back to myself in few moments. But I could not move, my knees were hurt.

"I'm sorry"He apologized. "I didn't notice quickly what went wrong. I should have stopped you before you fell."

I just nodded.

"Did you know before now you had PTSD?"

I've never heard of it. He just treated it like a pro. I'm really dumb, ain't I?

"Can I ... touch you? Your face is a mess."

I nodded. He carefully wiped off the cold dust off my face and my tears. I felt renewed.

"We need to get to the school clinic..."

"No! No! Please don't!"

Remembering Jude Kam.

"But you need to see a nurse. Your leg is hurt."

"I'll manage."

"I'll take you elsewhere. Is that okay?"

"On one condition."

"What?"

"Please don't mention this to anyone."I cried. He wiped the tear.

"I promise." He said. "Can I... hug you?"

I hugged him and he embraced me back. Oh... Home Sweet home.