Chapter Forty Two

"Master Kam, there was a report made by a customer about the new neuro- tech project. The company has been sued."

Jude was infuriated, he had worked hard enough and protected the company against any law suit. Why now?

"Take care of the punk! Must I give instructions before you know what to do?!"

"I apologize, Mister Kam. He has influence. He's bent on dragging the company's name in the mud."

"Then get rid of him!"He shrieked. "You know what? I'm coming over. I'll be there tomorrow. Keep an eye on him."

"Okay sir!"He hung up.

*

I became better, courtesy of Damien's letter. I was ready to live again. I attended all the lectures that day. Although bored and stressed, I wrote some lines of songs for him. Then my phone beeped. Jude Kam was on the line.

"Hey Paige"

"Hey"

"Can you come over to the house? I need to see you."

What again?!

Whenever he asked me to come over, I knew what he wanted, s*x. I agreed to study business administration instead of my proposed Journalism because he threatened not to let me out of the house if I didn't make his wish. I thought being at college would keep me away from him. But Jude Kam invades my room when my roommates aren't around or he comes pick me up by himself.

"I have important lectures for the rest of the day. I can't come over today."

"Stay then. I'll pick you up now."

"Are you out of your mind? Don't..."

He hung up.

Life can't be any better.

*

"Tell me you've called me to talk. Cause I'm too tired to have s*x!"I said as I walked into the house. 

"C'mon, just sit."He smiled. I sat."I'd be out of town for some days, or a week. I have something to deal with this week at the branch at Albany. I'm going to miss my baby. Just wanted to see you before I leave." It dawned on me that I'd crossed the Rubicon, how the hell can I escape this one?

I stood up to leave. "Well then you've seen me. I'll take my leave now."

I didn't allow myself a glance. I reached for the door. To my dismay, it was... locked. I sighed. Good Lord, not again...

Soon, his hands were wrapped around my waist. I punched his face. He smiled.

"You know what your violence does to me, huh?"He said in a husky, dreamy tone.

"Get your filth off me."I struggled, Jude has always been stronger. I never win.

"Come on baby. I wouldn't like to hurt you."

He forced his tongue between my lips.

I lost control. Had no choice.

Then the usual thing...

Twelve years.

I should be used to this by now.

It's not just God's will for me.

And I love Damien.

This kills me.

*

I laid on the cushion, dumb and probably deaf, feeling empty and numb. Warms tears flowing

freely out of my eyes like it's its main purpose. This is how I usually am after his defilement. Nothing has changed. Till it stops or maybe till I meet my Damien.

I stayed in the house till the next morning. Jude Kam had left before I woke up. After breakfast, my curiosity got the better part of me. I remembered how Damien had hacked his laptop the other day and I felt like I should try. I could get some useful info about my mother.

This time I was more cautious. I turned off the lights, even cut off the electricity supply. 

Just a power cut for a while. I smiled to myself. You've grown, Paige.

Then I got to work. I opened the silver Apple laptop and hacked it like a doodle. I might really be a gem.

A video appeared suddenly on the screen. I could not help but watch.

I must have choked on something in my mouth, or my throat. All I knew was that I ran out to get some water.

The video!

It was the same scene that got me in a comma for days. Jude has it!

Why the hell...?

Oh my...

I cried.

The video was tagged with a chat with an unknown number. A chat I couldn't read, they were archived. Little wonder the video appeared on the screen immediately I opened the computer. He was about to delete it too. I sent a copy to my phone and left the house.

I had no plan. Reporting Jude Kam would be the last thing I'd do. I'll only be putting more people in danger. Damien's family, they've been through a lot already. For Damien's sake, I'd just live with the guilt for the rest of my life.

When you're ready...

"I'm ready now, Damien. I'd do this for you. I'd live a life. Till we meet again."

*

It was a fresh morning. A month later, I made up my mind to live. I sat under a tree on the school field to catch the morning sun, to clear my head also. Lisa and Sandra's argument, or rather discussion, didn't allow me enough rest. I had my guitar with me and somehow I got inspired to sing our song to myself. The song we wrote together, that album, who knows where it'd gone. I wrote it and it pacifies my soul.

I wasn't singing out loud, since I wasn't the only one on the field and I needed to avoid attention. I was so lost in the melody that I didn't notice when a guy couched by my side under the tree. But when I noticed, I wished i never did. Damien's ghost?!

No no no...

I'm going crazy!

My guitar would have slipped out of my hands if he hadn't held it. I pinched myself continually, I should be dreaming.

"Hi."He smiled. I died and resurrected. This guy looked exactly like Damien. His skin -- olive tone. His grey eyes, his smile, his voice, his cutie baby face. That hair that I'd die for.

Ooops

It's not black. This guy has brown hair.

I'm sane. It's not Damien. But why does he look so much like him?!

Oh Lord, your daughter is going crazy and she needs HELP.