Chapter Forty One

" Where you going? Don't you have a lecture at this time?"Lisa questioned me that morning. I had booked my ticket the night before and I was leaving that morning.

"I'm going out, Lisa. I'll be back in one or two days. Can you help me with the attendance please?"

She arched her brows. I didn't want to be absent, yet I'm going to be absent. I only needed her to help fill my name on the attendance register while I was gone, so Jude wouldn't know I had left the school. He's always watching.

"Where are you heading to this early?"

"I have something important to deal with at home. Will you help? Please?"

She thought for a while. "Since this is your first time asking for this kind of help. I'll do it. Two days max, alright?"

"Yeah sure, thanks." I hugged her and stormed out. I didn't use my car, scared of being monitored. I was dressed in a black hoodie, black jeans and a slip on... not my usual style. As soon as I got on the plane, I knew how fulfilled I would be, getting hold of that guitar.

*

"Hi", I greeted the receptionist at the counter.

"Hi. Welcome to our store. What would you like to buy today?"

I smiled, the receptionist's smile was infectious. "Actually, I'm here for a package. Someone dropped a packet for me here some years ago. A year and a half, yeah."

"I'm new here. I'll make some calls."She picked up the receiver on the desk. She was on a call for about an hour, searching the store at the same time. Then she stopped and asked.

"I forgot to ask your name!"She sounded pretty exhausted.

"Paige. Paige Kam. It's a guitar."I intended to save her stress. 

"Oh! Found it then." She carried out the acoustic-electric guitar from the store.

"Actually, I was there when he dropped it. He was our favorite customer here."She looked sad. "Such a sweet young teen. You know he's dead right."

"Hm "I nodded.

"And you are...?"

"A friend." I winced. She's asking too many questions

"Why haven't you come to pick this up since?"

"Haven't been in town." I took the bag from her and left.

I thought of going back to the house, our house. I left a lot in that house; my phone, Annabelle's book, her letter, my journal, Damien's camera ring, even the memory card. I could not go, though I knew Jude wouldn't sell the house. I'll get into more trouble, I just need to leave the town as soon as possible. I took the next possible flight back to Atlanta. I was back at school the next morning. Lisa and Sandra weren't in the room. I guessed there were morning lectures.

I offloaded the contents of the bag. It was that guitar, the same guitar I started with, the one I returned after Jude got mine. The one I once told him I loved to play on. 

I cried, my tears. My never ending tears. The bag had other things: a lilac ear pod, a capole (for the guitar of course), a tape recorder and an envelope. My attention was only drawn to the envelope. It was a letter, handwritten by him.

"Paige,

I hope when you find this I won't be there. I know I won't. I had a dream last night, and I'm sure I'd be gone for a while. I hope you find this at the right time. I hope you will forgive me for not being with you then.

Remember the first day we met? Your first day at school. To be honest, that day, I could not think of anything else but your power, willpower, the faces you made, the shape of your eyes... Forgive me, I couldn't help it. 

But that wasn't the best day with you. What about our song? If only you could watch yourself sing, your gift amazes me Paige. You learned the guitar in weeks and played like a pro. 

That day, I stood there awestruck by your willpower and by your gift. I saw a lurking potential that, if discovered, might change the world. Knowing someday God will use it to touch the world. I felt that day the same way i feel now. Right now, I'm finding it hard to sleep thinking about how my life would be without you. I guess that's the benefit of pain. It gets hard to sleep, which means you have a lot of time to think. I do not know where next God is taking me. I wish I could take you with me, Paige.

I've thought a lot about the stories you'd like to tell whenever you have the chance. You are best at that-- making stories, still relevant and true. You may have a lot to hide, but you know, God sees them all and someday, he'll make it a beautiful story, Paige. I know you're gonna be free someday, very soon. 

And in one story, God grants healing, miracles do happen, yet another he calls us to suffer and even die. 

But I realised something. They both have value because each is a chapter and a bigger story.

 Each is the light of one star helping to form a galaxy. 

And i think we are one of those lucky people meant to experience both.

 I've learnt in life that suffering doesn't destroy faith, it refines it. It's just a matter of choice, Paige.

Our God is worth trusting, even when we can't see it. 

We're safe in his arms, ushering us into light and making us light ourselves. 

So do one thing for me Paige, for the sake of your gift and everyone meant to hear it. When you're ready, pick up your art, your guitar.

I Love you.

Damien."

"I love you too, Damien!"I cried.