Chapter-145 Mentally Ill

Jay-jay's POV

"...The wound is shallow. There's no need for stitches, but I made sure it's closed so it won't bleed anymore," the maid explained to me.

Sorry, Yuri!

He didn't call Keifer, but he did call the maids to help me. Now I felt guilty. Damn it!

"T-thank you," I said, forcing a smile.

They smiled back at me. "Please wait here for Young Master," one of them said before leaving.

I was left alone in what looked like a mini-clinic, staring blankly, feeling weak. I glanced down at my apron, now stained with blood.

It's gone...

I couldn't understand why this only happened when I saw fresh blood. What was really wrong with me?

A soft knock on the door made me look up. Yuri stood there, his eyes filled with sadness.

I felt ashamed. I shouldn't have told him to call Keifer.

"Is your wound okay?" he asked, stepping closer.

I gave a small nod, unable to meet his eyes. Embarrassment weighed down on me.

"S-sorry... I shouldn't have said that earlier."

He pulled a chair and sat in front of me, taking both of my hands in his.

"It's okay... But I wish you'd explain to me what happened earlier. I feel like I don't know anything about you."

I bit my lower lip. This was my fault. I should have told him sooner. What if we got married and he still didn't know?

"You do know things about me... just not everything. I'm scared to tell you—to tell anyone. Because even I also don't understand what's happening to me."

"It's not wrong to open up. You never know, maybe I can help you figure it out."

He was right...

I had been trying to understand this on my own for so long, but I never got anywhere. Maybe he really could help me.

"Yuri, the thing is..." I took a deep breath. "...T-there's something wrong with me."

He looked me in the eye, waiting for me to continue.

"W-when I see blood, something strange happens to me. At first, I thought it was just a phobia, but over time... it became something else."

"...I lose consciousness as far as I can remember. But they say I still move, I still act... and I start hurting people."

I could see Yuri's deep interest in what I was saying. I didn't want to continue, but I knew I had to tell him.

"...No matter how hard I try, I can't remember hurting anyone like that. There's nothing—nothing at all..."

I hadn't even realized my tears had started falling.

"...I don't know where I got it from. It just started happening when Aries' father kidnapped us, then again when I fought with Cyrus, and the last time... with Ram."

"B-but Keifer said you guys helped Ram," Yuri said.

I shook my head. "That's what we agreed to tell you all. But Kuya Angelo and Aries know the truth. Keifer told them, hoping they might have answers... but they didn't."

"Keifer knows? Is that why you wanted me to call him?"

I nodded in response. Yuri glanced at my wounded hand. He fell silent, as if deep in thought.

"I-if you don't want to be with me because of this—"

"No. No. Don't say that," he cut me off. "...I love you, Jay. No matter what happens or what you do, I will still love you."

"But what if—"

"Don't think about it. Don't even let the thought cross your mind... Please."

I forced myself to nod. But the truth was, there were still so many thoughts running through my mind.

What if it happens again and I hurt him? What would I do?

He stood up and walked toward me. He gently lifted my chin so I could look at him.

"We will figure this one out. You trust me, don't you?" he asked.

I gave him a small nod.

He smiled at me. "Now, can I kiss you?"

W-what?

I didn't even get the chance to answer. He pretended to ask for permission, but his lips were already moving closer. This guy!

I had no reason to refuse. I closed my eyes, waiting for his lips to meet mine.

Neither of us moved, and I almost held my breath.

I had to admit, I didn't want the moment to end. I didn't know why, but I was comfortable beside Yuri.

His lips stayed on mine for a few seconds before he slowly began to move them.

Whoa—hold on...

I tried to pull away, but he immediately placed a hand on the back of my neck. My hands instinctively pressed against his chest, but even that didn't stop him.

Damn it...

I had no choice but to respond to his kisses. For a reason I couldn't understand, even though his kisses weren't rough, a part of me was telling me to stop.

He wasn't like Keifer—of course, they were two different people. But if I really thought about it, Yuri kissed lightly. Sweet, gentle, and full of emotions—something I never felt with Keifer.

But why was it still Keifer's kiss that lingered in my mind?

I forced myself to pull away from him, gasping for air, lowering my gaze.

"Why?" Yuri asked.

"S-sorry..."

"Are you uncomfortable? Did I surprise you? Do you not like this?"

He threw one question after another.

I quickly shook my head. I didn't want him to think that. It wasn't that I didn't want it.

"I-it's nothing... I just remembered something," I answered.

He immediately pulled me into an embrace. "Maybe my timing was wrong. Sorry."

Before I could even respond, I froze. My eyes darted toward the door where a little girl stood. She had full bangs and was pale white.

A ghost?!

"Why are you eating Yuri-san's face?" she asked me.

Yuri instantly pulled away and turned to the child in shock.

"Yoichi!" Yuri exclaimed.

The little girl—Yoichi—immediately ran out of the mini-clinic. Wait! Yoichi? That's Yuri's sister!

"She's really something..." Yuri muttered before turning back to me.

"...I'll go check on Yoichi. You can find your way to my room on your own, right?"

"Y-yeah..." I think.

Yuri smiled at me before quickly heading after Yoichi. I was left standing there, staring into space.

This was the right thing—Yuri was the one I should be with because I agreed to marry him. But a part of me was still telling me that it was wrong.

When I was with Keifer, my mind screamed at me that it was wrong. But my body refused to listen.

What was happening to me?!

What should I do? I was so confused!

I took a deep breath and started walking toward Yuri's room. I wasn't sure where I was going. I remembered some parts of the way, but not all of it.

As long as there were stairs leading up!

Since that was all I could recall, I climbed every staircase I saw. I had gone up four sets of stairs before I finally found the right path to Yuri's room.

Success!

His room hadn't changed at all. Except for the curtains that were once closed—now they were open, revealing his large balcony.

This was my chance to look around his room. I hadn't done it before because he used to be so grumpy with me.

I walked over to his study table, my eyes landing on the framed pictures. They were mostly of him and his family. There was also a class picture of his Section E classmates.

This must've been from last year!

I continued looking around, and the books on his shelf immediately caught my attention. Wow, he really studied hard! He had the internet, but he still relied on books. What a nerd.

Suddenly, someone entered the room. I thought it was Yuri, but it turned out to be their maids, carrying the food that Yuri and I had cooked. They also brought a pitcher of juice and some utensils.

Would I even be able to eat this?

They placed everything on the coffee table near the glass door leading to the balcony. Once they were done, they turned to me, bowed slightly, and then left without a word.

Why did it feel like Yuri's maids didn't like me?

"Hey..." Yuri called from the doorway. "...Did you get bored?"

"Not really. Did you find Yoichi?"

"Yeah... She's in her room now." he replied.

I just nodded. Silence settled between us, and we both kept avoiding each other's gaze. The awkwardness was unbearable.

Pfftt...

"D-do you want to eat?" he asked, pointing at the food.

"Sure..."

He immediately walked over to the coffee table and started preparing the food. Meanwhile, I returned to his study table, my eyes scanning his bookshelf.

One book stood out—a photo album. It looked just like an old, hardcover book.

"Can I look at this?" I asked.

"Go ahead..."

I took the book, realizing the cover was just decorative. When I opened it, it was indeed filled with pictures.

Wow, fancy photo album!

I sat beside Yuri and opened it in front of him. The first picture was of Yuri as a child.

"Hahahaha... Is this you?" I asked, pointing at the crying child in the photo.

"Don't look at that. Skip!" he ordered.

But I couldn't stop laughing at his expression. He must've gotten annoyed because he quickly flipped through the pages, stopping somewhere in the middle of the album.

"Hey, I was looking at that!" I protested.

"You'd only see my embarrassing moments." he said.

I had no choice but to check the page he stopped on. It was a picture of him from his elementary school days.

I flipped to the next page and was greeted by a picture of him with Keifer, Percy, and... Aries.

They all looked happy in the photo—except for Keifer, who had his usual serious expression. Aries was smiling, with Percy's arm draped around his shoulder.

I kept flipping through the album. There were pictures of Yuri and Aries riding bikes, with Keifer and Percy sitting on the back.

There were also pictures of them in school uniforms. Most of them showed the four of them smiling and clearly having fun. I even found one where they were dressed as altar boys.

"You guys served in church?" I asked.

"Yeah, Angelo made us join. He thought it might straighten us out." Yuri explained while eating.

"And what happened?"

"We got kicked out right away... Because Keifer punched the head altar boy."

Pfffttt hahahaha...

"That guy's insane."

I continued flipping through the pictures and found one of Aries in a basketball uniform. I knew he used to play, but I never knew why he stopped.

There was also a picture of Percy and Keifer wearing baseball uniforms.

Wait a second...

I suddenly remembered the time Keifer threw that ball at me in the gym. The way he threw it—it made sense now.

I turned the page again. This time, there was only a single photograph on it.

Percy was holding the camera or phone. They were inside a car, and it seemed like the device was propped up near the steering wheel.

Aries was driving. Keifer was asleep. Only Yuri and Percy were looking at the camera—but they weren't smiling.

There was something heavy about this picture.

"That was the last picture we ever took together."