The Long Night Awaits(6)

The present me would like to greet the other me, hello, good evening, it should be evening, I don't know the time.You live in this body too don't you?The control of the body at this point in time is now in the hands of the present me, the present me enjoys some of your memories, please believe in that one record, I swear that everything is really happening, I can tell you the secrets of my heart that only I know, if you are real, and also the comforter on the bed is a bit long used, remember to ask them for a new one, take care of yourself.Please reply to a record, thank you.

Hello Chu Nettle, what time are you Chu Nettle, and if you do have partial memories, then you must not be the Chu Nettle of the same time, because the real Chu Nettle doesn't talk or write like this.Please tell me who you are, and yes, sharing this body, are the owners of the body, and it is daytime, and it should be daytime, because they came to give food delivery.Tell me in detail, if you will, please?

I was thirteen year old Chu Nettle, or I was Feng Li Zhao, I am still Feng Li Zhao, I read your whole record to know what I went through later on, last year I learned my name was Chu Nettle.I tried to use this book to communicate with you, the secret of my heart now is inanlay. if you are Chu nettle, you must know what thirteen year old me means.

It has been confirmed that you are Feng Li Zhao, how is your situation now?They still treat me well, can you accept to leave later?Still playing it cool, can't get anything out of it, smiling on the surface without a single break.

They don't feed me well, already reduced one meal of compressed cookies, next time sprinkle some cookie crumbs in the corner to prove that they have fed me compressed cookies.Are you still on meds?Am I addicted?Starting to look forward to taking my meds every day and even feel better afterward.Why don't you ever refer to yourself as me? Is there something you're not comfortable saying?And that, I still can't let go.

The race on the file is labeled unknown, Chu Rin and Jane Ann Ripple are not hiding something, is it really born by them?Is it possible that Jane Ann Ripple had a child unknowingly in the experiment, but was with Chu Rin at the time so she didn't know, but even if they were slow, twelve years would have been enough for them to notice.They did not choose to reproduce, but to adopt.Since then never used to use that word, no courage to put pen to paper to write that word.Cookie crumbs in the corner, see those things, pack some food on you to have on hand, don't starve.There's something wrong with that medicine, no wonder all they give now is sleeping pills.

I didn't take the pills, I didn't take the pills today, I swallowed them and then threw them up, I feel fine, I have severe mood swings, mild nausea and headache, I tossed and turned for a long time and then I got up to write to you.I found the food you gave me and barely pushed down some of the cravings.Took two showers to escape the drug cravings and tried painting on the walls, luckily they weren't too harsh on me and gave me a paint set.It's amazing how it's all the same person but at different times, I'll have a full day here, what about you?Do we exist at the same time?Would you see me appearing in your book, word by word?Every time I wake up, the book is already written, I've been staring at it all day, and in the mere blink of an eye, the words are there as if they've been there for a long time.

They were muttering for a long time today when they checked it. Did they find something? Did they do something to you?Had a feeling they were going to do something to you, they started serving food again, not allowed to leave the room for half a step.I've had a full day here too, the sleeping pills were hypnotizing, was it a dream?Don't write reflections in this book anymore, all alone but still not comfortable letting another life form see my privacy.Hang in there, if they start feeding me pills I'll stop taking them like you, addiction is not good, addiction is about control, once controlled you can't walk away from it for the rest of your life.

I'm sorry.

Why are you saying sorry?

Feng Li Zhao, what happened to make you feel sorry?

Did they do it to you? Did they force the medicine into your mouth?