Chapter 24: The Final Push

Mo glared briefly at Zhao. "Indeed, you acted disgracefully. Cheating, bounties, venom? Pfah. No desserts for you." He snapped his fingers and Zhao yelped as the mud around him formed into a cocoon, imprisoning him up to his neck. "I'll deal with you later."

Li Fan gulped. That was an exceedingly whimsical yet terrifying punishment: Zhao looked like a potted plant of shame.

Mo then gestured upward. "The trial is officially over. Let's head back, shall we? The others will be coming to collect the victor." He gave Li Fan a sly smile. "That's you, in case you forgot."

Lin Cai stepped forward, voice respectful. "Esteemed Mo, if I may ask... why involve yourself in this trial?"

Mo stroked his beard. "Ah, truthfully, I wasn't intending to reveal myself. But this wonderful show needed a proper closing act. And I needed to confirm something about our friend Li Fan here." He turned to Li Fan. "This mortal has the faint scent of destiny about him… or at least the scent of really good fried rice, which to me is much the same thing."

Li Fan scratched his head, still a bit flabbergasted. "So all this time, the crazy janitor chasing me—"

"—was testing you, lad," Mo finished. "Sure, I embarrassed you a few times—fun and games! But I also ensured you had chances to show your true mettle. Consider it my personal vetting process. And you passed with flying colors… or flying food, either way."

Yuechan arrived then, descending on a cloud platform with a few other officials. She looked worried until she saw Li Fan standing there intact. Then her eyes took in Primeval Mo, and the captured Zhao, and her mouth actually fell open in an uncharacteristic display of shock.

The officials, including Examiner Hu, landed and quickly kowtowed to Mo, who waved them off impatiently. "Yes, yes, I live, surprise. No fuss, please." The bureaucracy, for once, was speechless.

Yuechan rushed to Li Fan's side, eyes shining. "Li Fan! Are you alright?" She looked him over, noting some bruises and cuts, but nothing dire.

He smiled at her, exhaustion and happiness evident. "I am now. And I owe you a dumpling or two—those saved my life early on."

She laughed softly, relief evident. But protocol called, and she quickly composed herself to face the situation.

Examiner Hu stepped forward, throat-clearing. "It appears the trial has a winner. Mortal—er, Champion Li Fan has obtained the Jade Lotus." He still looked like he was processing the fact that a mortal won a divine trial (and that a legendary being was masquerading as their janitor all this time). "By the authority of the Celestial Bureau, I declare this trial—"

Mo cut in drily, "—a rousing success, wouldn't you say, Hu? In fact, I think some commendations are in order for creative problem solving and entertainment value." He gave Hu a pointed stare.

Hu fumbled, "Oh, yes, of course! We will, ah, thoroughly review and… and recommend appropriate honors." He bowed.

The other remaining participants who were able (including Lin Cai, Fei who emerged from hiding looking pleased at Li Fan's success, and a few others who arrived late after hearing the chime) gathered around. Many were injured or exhausted, but there was a general sense of camaraderie now that the competition was done.

Some looked at Li Fan in awe, others in disbelief. One rather blunt disciple asked aloud, "How in the seven skies did he beat all of us?"

To which Lin Cai replied coolly, "He had help. The kind none of us thought to seek—kindness, wits, and a bit of luck. Don't underestimate different kinds of strength."

Li Fan felt a little embarrassed at the open praise. He held the Jade Lotus carefully, then offered it respectfully to the officials. "I believe this goes to you, sirs?"

Hu nodded, taking the Lotus with reverence into a special case. "Yes. It will be verified and recorded that you claimed it."

Mo then declared, "I will escort our victor personally back to the Celestial Court. I have a few words for the assembly as well." His tone was jovial but had an undercurrent of authority that no one dared challenge.

And so, under the astonished gaze of peers and bureaucrats, Li Fan walked beside Primeval Mo and Yuechan onto the cloud platform. As they lifted into the air heading back, Li Fan caught Lin Cai's eye and mouthed "thank you." She smiled and bowed her head; their pact understood.

Zhao, still in his mud trap, could only glower helplessly as he was left for other officials to haul in (likely to face consequences beyond just lost face).

On the journey back, Li Fan turned to Mo. "So, uh, what now, Senior? Or should I even call you Senior? Maybe Great Senior Ancestor? Your Immortal Janitorial Majesty?" He half-teased, half-sincerely wasn't sure of the etiquette.

Mo guffawed. "Mo is fine, boy. Technically, in terms of age, calling me Grandpa would be appropriate, but let's not." Yuechan was still wide-eyed at Mo's jovial familiarity with Li Fan.

"You really hid yourself well," Yuechan said respectfully to Mo. "We had no idea."

Mo shrugged. "I like to observe the young ones without all the bowing and scraping. And occasionally meddle for fun. This time, my meddling has borne fruit— or should I say, a Lotus."

He then looked at Li Fan, eyes kind. "Why Li Fan is breaking through celestial ranks… that's the question, eh?" he said, more to himself. "I suspect there's more to your story yet. But I'll let you discover it in due time. Just know you've got friends in high places now… and one very, very high up friend in me."

Li Fan felt a surge of gratitude and something like pride. "Thank you, Mo. I… I won't let you down."

Yuechan touched Li Fan's arm lightly. "You certainly haven't. You continue to amaze." Her cheeks turned the faintest rose as she realized she'd said it quite tenderly, and she quickly added, "All of Heaven is amazed, that is."

Li Fan beamed. "Well, hopefully amazed enough to not throw me into any more deadly trials for a while. I could use a nap."

They all laughed, the tension of the trial melting away.

Back at the Celestial Court, chaos had turned into celebration. The Jade Emperor himself (not wanting to miss the story of the century) had convened an assembly. There, Primeval Mo revealed himself to gasps and promptly scolded the entire bureaucracy for complacency, in his humorous way.

He spun the tale of the trial's events to the court, in a fashion that made Li Fan's slapstick heroism sound like epic cunning and valor, leaving the assembly roaring with laughter at times and nodding in approval at others. The phrase "face-slapping duel" would be whispered in the halls for years in awe.

Li Fan was officially granted celestial rank—an honorary title of Heavenly Culinary Cultivator, along with the right to reside in the Heavenly Realm and continue his peculiar path of enlightenment. It was an unprecedented title literally made up on the spot (Examiner Hu had to write it into the ledgers as Mo spoke).

As promised, Li Fan made sure Lin Cai's crucial role was noted, so she too received honor (and she winked at him from across the hall, silently reminding him of their deal—he nodded, he'd not forget). Fei gave him a thumbs up; even some who opposed him came around seeing the winds of favor.

Zhao, bruised and humiliated, had to stand and publicly apologize to Li Fan under Mo's intimidating gaze, which Li Fan graciously accepted (though he couldn't resist saying with a straight face, "No hard feelings, friend. Let's not slap each other again anytime soon, yes?" prompting giggles in the audience and a further flush of shame from Zhao).

At the celebration feast that night, Li Fan, now somewhat of a celebrity, found himself seated at a table of honor next to Yuechan and not far from Mo. As immortal musicians played and wine flowed, Li Fan leaned toward Yuechan, speaking softly amid the jovial clamor.

"This has been one crazy arc of my life," he chuckled.

Yuechan tilted her head, "Arc? Are you dividing your life into story chapters now?"

Li Fan shrugged playfully. "It does feel like a novel sometimes. Arc I: The Fried Rice Fiasco. Arc II: Trial of Absurdity." He glanced at Mo who was telling a joke to a group of giggling handmaidens. "I wonder what Arc III will bring."

Yuechan smiled, clinking her glass lightly to his. "Whatever it is, I have a feeling it won't be boring. And… you won't face it alone."

Their eyes met, and Li Fan felt that warmth again, different from the excitement of adventure—this was a quiet, glowing ember of something between them. He found himself momentarily speechless, lost in her calm, bright eyes.

Of course, that's when Mo chose to hobble by (back in character with exaggerated old-man steps) and "accidentally" bump the table, jostling their drinks onto Li Fan's lap. "Oops! My bad, poor balance, ho ho!" Mo cackled, clearly not sorry at all.

Yuechan gasped and grabbed a napkin to help dab Li Fan's soaked robe. Li Fan just shot Mo a look that was half glare, half grin. The cheeky ancient just winked and shuffled off, humming the same bawdy tavern tune as always.

As Yuechan fussed over the spill, Li Fan gently stayed her hand. "It's alright, it's just wine. See? Our resident trickster couldn't resist one more gag."

Yuechan shook her head, laughing quietly. "I think he's rather fond of you."

Li Fan smirked, "He has a funny way of showing it."

They settled back, and Yuechan hesitantly rested her hand on Li Fan's under the table, a subtle gesture of closeness amid the crowd. He felt his heart skip at the contact but it felt right.

As a gong sounded to announce the next course (a spicy hotpot that Li Fan had secretly helped season), Li Fan raised his cup high. "To Heaven's most absurd trial," he toasted softly, for Yuechan's ears alone, "and to whatever craziness comes next."

Yuechan raised hers in return, eyes shining. "To Li Fan, Heaven's unlikeliest hero."