Ch2:

||So, contractee Ren, have you decided? ||

Karasujin's voice echoed in the void.

Or rather, in Ren's ears. Which probably didn't have any effect as his brain was fried by now.

Slowly, very slowly, he looked up.

He wanted to say something, but didn't.

||Uh, contractee Re—||

"Bro shut up, let me think this over. Also stop calling me that."

Silence prevailed again.

~~~

After what seemed like ages, logic hit Ren like a truck.

"Wait, isn't there a 'Cancel' or 'Unsubscribe' option?"

Karasujin's face remained unchanged.

||Alas, contractee Ren, we're not allowed to speak about that.||

Ren stood there, eyes protruding.

Deciding not to be a Karen, he carefully saw through his options.

He couldn't—or was not supposed to— cancel the subscription.

He didn't have the courage to fight these freeloading yokai.

And his soul payment—whatever the hell that meant, but it sounded eerie all the same—was due in thirty days.

So, he was left with no choice.

But then, something clicked. Something which was missing came into place. Something which he could have done in the very beginning dawned on him as the most supremely logical choice.

And then, with the energy of a badass anime protag, he said confidently:

"Fine. I'm up."

Karasujin's stoic expression cracked. The relief of a Sunday after going through an eternal week showed on his face.

||That's great, contrac—||

"STOP CALLING ME THAT. HOW'D YOU FEEL IF I CALLED YOU A CROWHEAD??!!"

Karasujin's redemption arc hit pause. He looked at Ren with a confused expression.

Confusion slowly gave way to indignation.

Indignation to anger.

And Karasujin looked dope furious when angry. Hell, it was a proverb in the yokaicracy: 'Hedge not Karasujin, lest he may yeet thou to thy grave...'

Needless to say, Ren was scared shitless. He was already feeling bad about interrupting Karasujin so rudely.

And now, none but Satan could save his soul, apparently.

When Karasujin opened his mouth—or beak?—one, soul-crushing word came out of it:

||...Eh? ||

Ren blinked.

Nurarihyon, busy chugging Ren's soda now, blinked.

Jorogumo blinked.

Something fell in the toilet. It probably blinked too.

"Nvm bro. Sorry for that."

||It's okay, cont—uh, so what do I call you now, sir? ||

"Just call me Ren."

Nurarihyon, having finally emptied Ren's fridge, said mischievously:

||Say, Renny, you don't seem to be interested in what you contracted for? ||

Ren, still recovering from the soul-shattering "Eh?" sighed.

"Aight, whatever. Just tell me what I even signed up for."

IMMEDIATELY, the walls creaked. The air turned thick. Something unseen shifted.

Nurarihyon cackled like a maniac, revealing way too many fangs.

||Oh boy Renny...||

Jorogumo stretched her spider legs unnaturally.

Karasujin adjusted his tie and clasped his hands together like this was a PowerPoint ppt.

Jorogumo stopped spinning webs.

The air shifted. Something deep and ancient seemed to be watching.

And then, every yokai in the room jerked their heads towards the sky—the hole Jorogumo made when she crashed in. Their eyes slowly faded to a demonic red.

All of them clapped their hands rhythmically for five seconds.

The door swung open.

Cold air rushed in which awoke the yokai from the trance. The shadows twisted. The scent of old parchment and static electricity filled the room.

And then—a single scroll floated inside.

It gently landed in Ren's hands. The paper was aged, brittle, and smelled faintly of burnt hair.

Ren gulped.

"...What the hell is this?"

Karasujin tilted his head.

||Ren-san's first task, of course.||

Ren hesitated, then slowly unrolled the scroll.

In a barely readable handwriting of an almost microscopic size, it read:

[MISSION: Retrieve the Five Wigs of the Trans-Yokai.

REWARD: Temporary Extension of Soul Collection Deadline.

ON FAILURE: Immediate Termination of the Contract, leading to the Contractee's Death.]

Ren stared.

"I—what. Wigs??"

Jorogumo peeked over his shoulder.

||Ohhh, the Trans-Yokai? That guy's a freak.||

Ren froze.

"...What do you mean 'freak'??"

Nurarihyon casually yeeted Ren's fridge out of the window.

||Oh, y'know. He's this lovely fellow who exists in two states at once—superposition and murder.||

Ren's soul left his body.

"EXCUSE ME??"

Karasujin continued, unfazed.

||Indeed. The Trans-Yokai is a creature bound by paradox. He both does and does not exist. Unfortunately, he has a habit of not existing when you're looking for him...||

Ren's eye twitched.

"And when you do find him?"

Jorogumo grinned.

||Oh, they eat those who manage to see them. Good luck Renny! You can do this! ||

Ren dropped the scroll like it was on fire.

"BRO, WHY WOULD I GO NEAR HIM THEN?!"

Karasujin simply smiled.

The scroll slithered back up into Ren's hands.

And then, in a voice that was far too calm for the absolute existential dread it carried, Karasujin said—

||Because, Ren-san... if you don't, the Trans-Yokai will come looking for you instead.||

Ren's breath stopped.

Jorogumo let out a low whistle.

||Oh damn, forgot about that part.||

Nurarihyon cackled.

||Welp. RIP.||

An eerie voice echoed from the bathroom:

||Red paper or blue paper? ||

Ren just stood there, staring at the scroll.

He wanted to scream.

...But something was already breathing behind him.