Ex-girlfriend Scattered My Ashes

On the third day after my death, the police dialed Vivienne's number: "This is the forensics department of the police station. Our condolences, the body matches your boyfriend's description..."

She was lounging in her new lover's arms, eating cherries. Her languid voice came through, wrapped in static.

"Fintan? We broke up ages ago. Just cremate him or whatever."

As the incinerator consumed the last bit of my skin, the on-duty officer called again.

"Miss Langdon, we need a family member to sign for the urn."

"What a hassle." She rushed to the funeral home, trampling on my ashes, her crystal nails tapping on the ceramic container.

The next moment, she actually scattered my ashes!

"Still putting on an act, aren't you? Aren't you tired?"