ManyWriters

On the third day after my death, the police dialed Vivienne's number: "This is the forensics department of the police station. Our condolences, the body matches your boyfriend's description..."
She was lounging in her new lover's arms, eating cherries. Her languid voice came through, wrapped in static.
"Fintan? We broke up ages ago. Just cremate him or whatever."
As the incinerator consumed the last bit of my skin, the on-duty officer called again.
"Miss Langdon, we need a family member to sign for the urn."
"What a hassle." She rushed to the funeral home, trampling on my ashes, her crystal nails tapping on the ceramic container.
The next moment, she actually scattered my ashes!
"Still putting on an act, aren't you? Aren't you tired?"

Ex-girlfriend Scattered My Ashes

I floated over and poked Britta's hair. This girl had a habit of hiding evidence behind picture frames since childhood, and even after twenty years, she hadn't kicked the habit.


She suddenly sneezed, her eyes as red as a rabbit's.


On college move-in day, she had the same expression. I dragged my suitcase behind her, watching her ponytail swish back and forth as she sulked.


"It's just dating, why the funeral face?"


I pressed the cold Coke can to the back of her neck.


"Vivienne's so pretty, want me to introduce you later?"


She whirled around suddenly, and I nearly bumped into her nose.


"Fintan, did you get your head slammed in a door?"


Britta's hand gripping my collar was shaking, "What kind of nice girl could come from that family?"


I was laughing so hard I couldn't stand up straight.


Who would have thought that ten years later, I wouldn't even leave behind a complete corpse, and Vivienne would still be clutching my urn, refusing to let go.


Chapter 5