Chapter 7

The scraping sound of the chair being pulled across the floor makes me stop writing my note. In an instant, I raise my head. My eyebrows furrow together in displeasure as soon as my eyes meet with no other person but Kai. He smiles at me widely, reminding me of a five-year-old child who gets his hands on his favourite ice cream. He casually sits down on the chair in front of me, as if the seat is already reserved for him. I hold a sigh when the smile on his face widens.

“Mind to tell me why you are here?”, I whisper to him quietly.

One, this is the library. Two, I don’t want to make a scene only to end up with other people looking at us.

The people around me definitely notice him but surprisingly, they don’t take any photos, unlike last time. Maybe they grow bored or they simply just want to focus on the reading materials in front of them. That is the purpose of going to the library, right?

“To see you.”

Well, it seems like not everyone in the library wants to study instead. The living proof is already in front of me. Instead of coming here to study, he said he wanted to see me.

A sigh finally escaped my lips, hearing his answer. Why hasn’t he grown tired of me yet? And how did he just know I am at the library at this hour?

“Why?”, I ask him.

My question instantly wipes the smile off his face. His joy turns into sorrow in a second.

“Well, can’t a friend see his friend?”, he asks me back with disappointment.

A friend? Since when?

To be honest, I have never thought of him as a friend of mine. Yes, I know I have been letting my guard down these days but that doesn’t mean we are close enough to be called a friend.

Putting down my pen on the table, I straighten my back to look at him properly.

“Kai, please listen to me, alright?”, I start, satisfied when I get his attention. “I really don’t know why you’re always around me or what you want from me, but you need to stop this. I don’t worth of your time”, my voice is quiet but stern, hoping that it will reach him.

The sadness on his face is enough to tell me that I have hurt his feelings. It makes me guilty. I wonder if I’m too harsh with him.

He runs his fingers through his hair before leaning his back against the chair. He stares at me, the look on his face mirrors his frustration and disappointment.

“Hanna…”, he calls my name softly. “I actually thought that we’re already past the question, ‘Why are you here’ or ‘What are you doing here’. But it seems I was wrong. We are back to the same question again, huh?”, he says with a disappointed voice. “I know I’m bad news to you, but please trust me when I say I don’t have any bad intentions towards you. I just want to be your friend. Luna and the others are your friends. Why can’t I be one? If you don’t want to be friends with me, it’s alright. Think of me as a stupid doll or anything you want. Just let me be around you, please?”, he begs me.

I know his pride will not allow him to beg someone so desperately like this. But, for him to do it just for somebody like me, I don’t know. I’m so confused right now. The look of dejection in his eyes makes me consumed with guilt. I don’t know what to do when he looks at me like that. It makes me uneasy somehow.

I don’t hate him. Annoyed, yes, but hate? No. To be honest, I am scared. I’m scared to let someone into my life all of a sudden. What if I let him in and he left me suddenly? I know he is not going to be here all the time. He will get bored with me, I’m certain of it, because I know myself. He will get tired of the quietness and boring me. When it happens, the only thing that is left for me is pain.

But he is so stubborn and persistent. I have never met someone like him before. No matter what I have done or said to him, he doesn’t budge at all. I’m also tired of the same questions all over again. Looking away from him, I pick up my pen and continue to write down my note.

“If you’re going to stay, just make sure to keep quiet”, I give in to him with the thought not to get too attached to him on my mind.

It will be fine if I don’t let him come too close to me, right? At least, when he disappears one day, it will not be so painful.

“Yes!”, he says excitedly while pumping his fist in the air happily.

I widen my eyes at him with panic. His small victory had people look at us. Some of them are annoyed with the sudden noise while the girls are looking at him with big smiles on their faces that blind my eyes. When their eyes meet with mine, their expression changes to disgust. I instantly tear my gaze away from them.

I wanted to scold Kai for being loud but chose to stay silent instead when he quickly mouth, ‘I’m really sorry’. Now, I’m regretting my decision to let him stay because knowing him, he can’t even sit still for a minute.

The library is my safest place in the university. Here, people mind their own business, and they care less about me. I can breathe at ease here. So, the last thing I want is to get kicked out of here. Although I have lost the small peace since he is here, it is still my favourite place of all.

As I’m writing down the note, he somehow manages to stay quiet. I wonder what he is doing. Curiosity kills me, and I take a glance at him. He is reading, I don’t know if it is called reading when he is just flipping the page of my reference book over and over again. As expected, Kai Adler and the library don’t match each other.

Unknowingly, I make a small smile at his clueless expression as he reads something on the page. I don’t know what he is trying to understand, but whatever it is, I know it is not related to any of his subjects, of course.

He is too occupied with it that he doesn’t notice my smiley face at him. I shake my head at him. Then, I continue with my writing. This time, with a big smile plastered on my face.

We part ways as we walk out of the library. Thank goodness that Andrew had called him to their basketball practice, or he would have insisted on walking me to my class. He refuses at first and only agrees when Asher talks to him.

After my class has ended, I hurry to the cafe for my part-time job. I will not lie, it is so exhausting, especially if I need to prepare for the exams or quizzes. Sometimes, I cry too.

My shift ended as soon as we closed the cafe. After everything is done, I go to the room in the back and change my clothes. After that, I walk towards my locker to grab my bag and books. I’m so out of energy right now.

“You okay? You look pale”, Crystal asks me with concern as she finishes changing her outfit.

Isla immediately looked at me.

“Why don’t you take the day off tomorrow? Get a rest. You’re too hard on yourself”, she told me.

I smile gratefully at both of them.

“I’m fine. Just a bit tired. Goodbye, see you tomorrow. Be careful on your way home”, I quickly wave them goodbye, give a smile to Mark, another co-worker of mine, and walk out of the room hurriedly before they can say something to object to me.

As soon as I step outside, the chilly breeze greets me as usual, making me slightly shiver. I hug my books around my chest tighter before I raise my head to look at the sky.

It is pitch black, as usual. I’m hoping to catch a glimpse of the star, but I’m left with disappointment like before. It is impossible to see a star here. Shaking my head to wipe away the disappointment, I walk towards the bus stop instead. I suddenly stop walking as soon as I spot Kai, leaning against the wall of the cafe.