Chapter 9

“Hi, Hanna”, Luna greets me with a small smile on her face.

I notice that her smile doesn’t reach her eyes. I wonder if something had happened. I take a seat opposite her, smiling back at her.

“Hi”, I greet her.

“So, is it true? The rumour?”, Evelyn asks me impatiently.

She stares hard into my face, looking for an answer to her question.

The problem is, I don’t know what kind of rumour she is talking about. I’m just about to ask her, but Luna beat me by smacking her head not so gently.

I flinched when I heard Evelyn loud ‘Awww’. That must hurt.

“Evelyn, stop right there”, Luna’s stern voice silences her.

Now, I’m curious. What is this all about?

I look at Luna, quietly demanding an answer from her.

“It’s nothing, Hanna. You know Evelyn. She and her endless nonsense”, Luna tries to reassure me with her smile, but I don’t buy it.

Something has happened, that’s for sure. The question is, what is this all about? It must be something serious for Luna to hide it from me.

“Luna, you can’t hide this from Hanna forever. She’ll know about it sooner or later”, Evelyn furrows her eyebrows together as she looks at Luna, a sign that she is not satisfied with her.

“I told you not to speak about this matter, Evelyn. Why can’t you listen to me?”, Luna scolds her.

Everyone is silent at Luna’s outburst. I could feel the tension in the air as Luna and Evelyn looked at each other.

William anxiously sends a signal to Asher to distract Luna. Unlucky for William, Asher doesn’t even bother to look at him. He remains calm, unaffected by the growing air of tension. Everything is looking uninteresting to him except when his eyes land on Luna. His usual cold gaze instantly changed to soft and gentle.

That’s how love can change someone.

Even Nicholas seems worried right now. Luis and Andrew also show an interest this time. Most of the time, they look bored and unconcerned during our conversation.

“Luna, what is this about?”, I ask her.

“There’s a reason a rumour is just called one. Don’t mind them”, Violet chimes in.

“Violet is right. It’s just some stupid rumour, after all. You don’t need to worry about it”, Luna calms me down.

“What do you mean Hanna doesn’t need to worry about it? This is super serious, Luna. These people are calling her names. Hanna deserves to know about this”, Evelyn still with her opinion, not backing down, although Luna has been warning her.

“Evelyn Dixon!”

Luna’s angry voice silences Evelyn. Asher finally decides to get involved in this matter. He wraps his arm around Luna’s shoulder, bringing her closer to him as an attempt to calm her down.

To be honest, no one is crazy enough to get on Luna’s bad side. She is scary when she’s in a bad mood.

“Can you tell me what this is all about?”, I ask Luna once again.

“It’s really nothing...”

“There’s a photo…”, Evelyn cut Luna off before she finished her sentence.

“Evelyn, I said, no”, Luna warns her.

“Someone took photos of you and Kai and posted them on the university board. They are attacking you with their mean comments, saying that you...”

"Evelyn, can you just shut up? Stop it, please”, Luna begs her.

Evelyn looks guilty after hearing Luna's plea.

I don’t know how to react to this matter. In my mind, I have always known that something like this will happened anyway. But, for the person to post it on the university board? That is too much, actually.

“Hanna”, Luna’s soft voice brings me back to reality. I didn’t even realized that I had been staring into space for a while. “Promise me you will not look at it. It’s nothing. Evelyn just makes a big deal about it”.

Luna tries to reassure me with a smile, but the worry on her face says otherwise.

“Evelyn is not making a big deal about this. They are calling her pros…”

“Luis!”, Luna shouts angrily.

Everyone except Andrew gives Luis a disapproving look. It is not that shocking to me, actually. A part of me had always known that Luis hates me. He intimidates me with his cold gaze as if I don’t belong here and I shouldn’t exist in this world.

“Why? I only tell her the truth. Why are you trying so hard to hide this from her? Come on, Luna, she is not a five-year-old for you to protect her like this”, Luis smirks at Luna, earning him a glare from Asher.

“What the hell is wrong with you, Luis. You…”

“Luna”, I cut her off, trying to distract her from fighting with Luis. The last thing I want is for them to fight with each other just because of me. It’s not worth it. “I will not look at it, alright? I’m sure there’s nothing to worry about. Let’s forget all of this. I’m really sorry if I caused you and everyone else trouble”, I gave her a wide smile after that.

Luna eyes me suspiciously before nodding her head. Guilt is written all over her face, and it makes my heart ache. She is not supposed to feel guilty at all. It is not her fault. If anyone is to be blamed here, it’s me.

***

After leaving the cafeteria, I went straight to the library. Luna’s guilty face is still alive in my memory. Everyone seems not in a good mood after what had happened earlier. I feel bad about it because I’m the one who caused all of this.

It’s been almost fifteen minutes, but I still stay on the same page of my note. I hate wasting time so much because I have always thought that time is running too quickly for me.

I still have much to do, but I can’t. My mind keeps replaying the things that Evelyn had told me earlier. A photo of me and Kai on the university board. I am dying to look at it, but my promise to Luna holds me down.

Then, I put down my pen and grabbed my phone instead. Curiosity wins over me. Apologizing to Luna on my mind, my thumb quickly tapped on the screen to open the university board.

As Evelyn said, it’s the photo of me and Kai. It has been taken at the library. It is when I am smiling at him for being clueless about something in the book. I thought he was cute back then, like a kid who was trying to understand something. The post even stays in the most popular section. I look at the date the photo was uploaded. It has been days already. The caption above the picture left me speechless.

‘IS KAI DATING THE POOR SCHOLARSHIP GIRL?’

There is a long pause before I tap on the screen to see the comments.

I should have listened to Luna.

There are hundreds, no, thousands, of comments in the comment section. There is nothing good about them. They are unpleasant, cruel, and brutal.

'Look at this whore, how dare she seduces Kai.'

'Seeing the smile on her face when looking at Kai makes me want to smash her face so badly.'

'Who does she think she is? How dare she look at Kai like that?'

'Peasant. She must think she’s something just because Luna takes pity on her.'

'A scholarship student, a poor and now what? A whore?'

'She makes me sick. Disgusting.’

‘Looking at her face makes me want to vomit.’

‘Ugly, poor, disgusting.’

‘I wish she had never been born. No one is ever going to love her anyway.'

‘Prostitute. I wonder how much Kai pays her.'

The last comment makes me cover my mouth in disbelief. I knew they hated me. They were annoyed at me. They are disgusted by me. I knew all of that. But… but… Prostitute?

My parents, Aunt Rosie, I have let them down. I am a disgrace to them.

I thought I had gotten used to their angry gazes and unkind treatment to me but judging by the sharp pain in my heart, I guess I will never get used to this things. I am just a walking disappointment. They are right. I should never have been born. I...

“Hanna, Hanna? Hey, why are you crying?”, Kai’s worry voice snap me back to reality.

I raise my head at him. My sight is blurry as I look at him. I don’t even realize that I have been crying.

Looking at his face makes me remember the awful things that they have been saying to me. It’s all because of him. Yes, that’s right. Everything that happened is all because of him.

“It’s all your fault”, I started angrily.

“Hanna, tell me what has happened. I can’t understand you like this”, he persuades me.

“Then, don’t! Don’t try to understand me. Don’t understand me!”, I raised my voice, surprising him. “I told you. Not once but many times to leave me alone. I told you to… I told you…”, my voice is breaking at the end of my sentence.

I can’t continue to talk. My heart is in pain right now. All I want to do is cry my heart out.

“Hanna…”, he stopped midway when he saw the phone in my hand.

“I saw it. The university board… The photo… The comments… They said I’m a pro…”

“Hanna!”, he raised his voice, succeeding in cutting me off from calling myself names. “Listen to me, ignore them, alright? They know nothing about you. I'll fix this. I fix everything. Just listen to me, please?”, he tries to take my phone from my hand, but I am faster and hide it from his sight.

“You knew? You knew about this and you’re still hanging around me?”, I smiled in disbelief after seeing the guilt on his face. “Are you enjoying yourself with all this? Does it bring happiness to you, seeing my misery? Am I an entertainment to you? A joke to you?”, I stare at him while wiping down the tears on my face angrily.

I’m frustrated to think that someone might take a photo of us again. I’m sure we have become the center of attention right now. But I don’t want to care about it right now. I’m too tired to deal with them. I’m exhausted with everything.

“What? No! Hell, no! Hanna, I have never thought of you as entertainment or anything. Please, Hanna. Please believe me”, he begs me desperately, but I am blind with rage to see it.

“Believe you? You think I will believe someone like you? Never”.

As soon as I speak the words, he looks at me in shock. I see the sorrow in his eyes and know he is hurting.

“Hanna…”, his voice is breaking.

“Stay away from me! Leave me alone! I will never forgive you if you come near me again!”, I say harshly and hurriedly packing my things. After done with everything, I grab my bag and walk away from him. Then, I remember something. I turned towards him and saw a glimpse of hope in his eyes. “By the way, they want to know how much you’re paying to sleep with me”, I told him angrily.

Just like that, I crushed whatever hope he had in me just now. I go away, leaving him alone. The sadness in his eyes is haunting me for the rest of the day.