Chapter 13: Vox the Sword and the Constant Roasting

After surviving the Screaming Marsh (which was mostly just frogs

yelling motivational slurs), we stumbled into an ancient ruin. It was

eerie, haunted, and definitely giving off "this place has loot but also

trauma" energy.

Kyuu sniffed the air. "Magic item."

Allie beamed. "Ooooh, treasure!"

Me? I tripped over something shiny and faceplanted.

The shiny thing? A sword.

A long, silver blade with glowing blue runes... and a very annoyed

British accent.

"Oh brilliant," it groaned. "Another amateur hero tripping over my hilt.

This makes... what, seventeen?"

I picked it up, blinking. "You can talk?"

"Of course I can talk," it snapped. "I'm Vox, not some basic

enchanted kitchen knife. And you, my unfortunate wielder, smell like

unresolved issues."

Kyuu smirked. "He's already roasting you, and you haven't even

swung him once."

"Can you at least give me some tips?" I asked.

"Yes," Vox said. "Step one: swing better. Step two: stop being

embarrassing."

Allie giggled. "He's like a sassy therapist with blades."

"I'm a connoisseur of chaos and carnage, thank you," Vox sniffed.

"Now swing me, peasant!"

I gave it a half-hearted swing.

"Ugh. I have seen dead trees with more enthusiasm."