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Werewolves: The Apocalypse — The Book of Hungry Names
(Now with 98% more ecological guilt and 100% less graphics)

You and your band of traumatized werewolves (read: a group of poorly resolved furry therapists) must save the Living Earth using two infallible ingredients: homicidal rage and questionable spirituality.

In this interactive novel with hundreds of choices (most leading to inevitable doom), you'll have the chance to face a Wyrm Spirit that manifests itself as... a lie you really want to believe. Like that voice that says "I'll start my diet tomorrow." Only with more cosmic destruction.

 Written by Kyle Marquis and set in the wonderful (cough) universe of World of Darkness, this epic without a single image (but with 1.6 million words, in other words, an abusive relationship with reading) is fueled solely by the most powerful thing in the world: your imagination that has already failed three college entrance exams.

You are a werewolf. And like all good werewolf, you are a mix of:

Shaman who thinks meditation cures demonic migraines,

Hero that nobody asked for,

Monster with existential crises,

And sustainability consultant for Mother Gaia (bankrupt, of course).

Created by the goddess of the Earth, you were gifted with the ability to turn into a wolf (in other words, walk around naked with style), and tasked with the noble mission of preventing humanity from turning the planet into a cosmic McTrash.

But guess what? You failed. Congratulations.

 Three years ago, your pack was part of the Sept of Broad Brook, Massachusetts (land of maple syrup and spiritual doom), where werewolves still pretended they had a chance against the Wyrm — the spirit of destruction, chaos, and people who comment “first” on YouTube.

While other Septs fell like dominoes at a satanic rave, yours was there, firm, strong, and deluded. Some said you would prevent the Apocalypse. Others just thought it was funny to watch the circus burn.

Now, all that’s left is for you to pick up the pieces (literally), avoid becoming an evil spirit’s kibble, and, who knows, write your name in the Book of Hungry Names — the one that eats hopes, New Year’s promises, and happy endings.

Do you want me to adapt this to become the introduction to chapter 1 as well?

Of course! Here's a Desciclopédia-style warning, with a touch of acid and humor, that you can put at the beginning of your story on Wattpad to make everything clear:

WARNING BEFORE SOME LITIGIOUS SPIRIT COMES TO BARK

This work is a humorous reinterpretation (read: full of irony, sarcasm, dark humor and some inconvenient truths) based on the style of interactive stories like those from Choice of Games. But, before anyone calls the lawyers or invokes the spirit of copyright, let's make something VERY clear:

This is not plagiarism. It's parody. It's a joke. It's entertainment.

(And, let's be honest, not even Mother Gaia would bother to sue.)

The writing adopted follows the Desciclopédia style, that is:

Nothing is sacred.

Everything can be a joke.

If you get offended, congratulations, the system worked.

 This is a tongue-in-cheek homage to the classics of the genre, using the interactive format to tell stories that are bizarre, tragic, hilarious, and incredibly stupid (sometimes all at the same time). None of the original Choice of Games content was copied directly—only the structure was inspired, because let’s face it, reinventing the wheel is a lot of work.

If you want an epic journey with deep moral dilemmas, go play the original.

If you want to laugh at your own misfortune while turning into a werewolf and punching mystical capitalism with your paws, go ahead. It’s your house.

Zerk World) Zombo Stars

Bly offers you a crooked smile as you volunteer to join her. "And here I thought guard duty was only fit for the likes of me," she says, "the 'dumb brutes' who have no interest in socializing with the rest of the pack."

You freeze and blink with confusion. "I never said that."

"Of course you didn't." Bly laughs. "That pearl of wisdom was from Elder Nakai. He thinks so little of me but so highly of you." She shrugs. "I just thought it was funny that both of us are volunteering to save his saggy ass all over again."

"I'll go get the others ready to move out," Jolon says. "Dena should know what's going on, too. I'll get her up to speed, but the big reunion can wait for later."

"Good luck," you say. "You're going to need it."

"Yeah," Bly says. She grins at Jolon. "Have fun convincing Elder Nakai to do anything he doesn't want to." She holds the door open for you. "Still coming?"

"Yeah," you say, hurrying to catch up.

You follow her out into the dimly lit parking lot. A powdering of snow dusts the ground, falling from the night sky to mark your passage. She walks off the pavement between rows of evergreens, using them as a blind to cover her from potential intruders. You join her, wary of the footprints you're making. Once you're both hidden, you initiate the change, your bodies twisting and reshaping themselves into wolf form. You pant a sigh of relief once the final tendon snaps into place. The transformation is never easy, but it always feels right. You feel ready to defend the elders from anything Maker can throw at you.

Several minutes pass as you watch for signs of intruders. You can hear sounds of activity as the wolves still in the warehouse get ready to leave and load up the buses. Looks like Jolon's overture was successful.

"At this rate the snow will cover our tracks soon," Bly says. "But we should stay put for now; it can't hurt to be careful." She leans up against the nearest tree and dusts snow off her shoulders. "So, you've got tell me," she whispers just low enough that you can hear. "What's your take on this Lapu reunion situation? There's no doubt that he's been experimented on—he's almost as bad as one of those zombie movies—but can we trust him?"

"We can't believe a thing he says. He's been through hell, but the last time he was in a tough spot, he sold us out to the humans."

"I trust him. What would he get out of lying to us? He betrayed us in Haven to protect Tiva; do you really think he'd willingly give her up now?

"What's been done to him is horrifying. We need to do whatever we can to make sure no other wolf ever has to endure that again."

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