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Werewolves: The Apocalypse — The Book of Hungry Names
(Now with 98% more ecological guilt and 100% less graphics)

You and your band of traumatized werewolves (read: a group of poorly resolved furry therapists) must save the Living Earth using two infallible ingredients: homicidal rage and questionable spirituality.

In this interactive novel with hundreds of choices (most leading to inevitable doom), you'll have the chance to face a Wyrm Spirit that manifests itself as... a lie you really want to believe. Like that voice that says "I'll start my diet tomorrow." Only with more cosmic destruction.

 Written by Kyle Marquis and set in the wonderful (cough) universe of World of Darkness, this epic without a single image (but with 1.6 million words, in other words, an abusive relationship with reading) is fueled solely by the most powerful thing in the world: your imagination that has already failed three college entrance exams.

You are a werewolf. And like all good werewolf, you are a mix of:

Shaman who thinks meditation cures demonic migraines,

Hero that nobody asked for,

Monster with existential crises,

And sustainability consultant for Mother Gaia (bankrupt, of course).

Created by the goddess of the Earth, you were gifted with the ability to turn into a wolf (in other words, walk around naked with style), and tasked with the noble mission of preventing humanity from turning the planet into a cosmic McTrash.

But guess what? You failed. Congratulations.

 Three years ago, your pack was part of the Sept of Broad Brook, Massachusetts (land of maple syrup and spiritual doom), where werewolves still pretended they had a chance against the Wyrm — the spirit of destruction, chaos, and people who comment “first” on YouTube.

While other Septs fell like dominoes at a satanic rave, yours was there, firm, strong, and deluded. Some said you would prevent the Apocalypse. Others just thought it was funny to watch the circus burn.

Now, all that’s left is for you to pick up the pieces (literally), avoid becoming an evil spirit’s kibble, and, who knows, write your name in the Book of Hungry Names — the one that eats hopes, New Year’s promises, and happy endings.

Do you want me to adapt this to become the introduction to chapter 1 as well?

Of course! Here's a Desciclopédia-style warning, with a touch of acid and humor, that you can put at the beginning of your story on Wattpad to make everything clear:

WARNING BEFORE SOME LITIGIOUS SPIRIT COMES TO BARK

This work is a humorous reinterpretation (read: full of irony, sarcasm, dark humor and some inconvenient truths) based on the style of interactive stories like those from Choice of Games. But, before anyone calls the lawyers or invokes the spirit of copyright, let's make something VERY clear:

This is not plagiarism. It's parody. It's a joke. It's entertainment.

(And, let's be honest, not even Mother Gaia would bother to sue.)

The writing adopted follows the Desciclopédia style, that is:

Nothing is sacred.

Everything can be a joke.

If you get offended, congratulations, the system worked.

 This is a tongue-in-cheek homage to the classics of the genre, using the interactive format to tell stories that are bizarre, tragic, hilarious, and incredibly stupid (sometimes all at the same time). None of the original Choice of Games content was copied directly—only the structure was inspired, because let’s face it, reinventing the wheel is a lot of work.

If you want an epic journey with deep moral dilemmas, go play the original.

If you want to laugh at your own misfortune while turning into a werewolf and punching mystical capitalism with your paws, go ahead. It’s your house.

Zerk World) Zombo Stars

Desciclopédia-style rewrite: "Bly, the SUV and the End of Session Escape"

"Now let's see who you really are," you say, probably with a hero pose that only lacks a giant poster on the wall. You crouch down with the delicacy of a ninja master and, of course, put all your body weight on top of the guy to make sure he's not a very well-camouflaged version of MacGyver, with an arsenal hidden somewhere on his body. You expect to find something like "Oh, it's a mutant monster with tentacles", but in fact, the only thing special about him is a sad smile and an incredible ability to... bite his own teeth and self-destruct.

Yes, he starts foaming at the mouth, writhing like an intern trying to get out of a Monday meeting and you, of course, think: "Now he's turned into soda." But no, it's just another cyanide capsule. Maker never wanted his subordinates to be captured, right? #GoodLifeForVillains

And then, the silence of the secret agent drama scene is cut by a noise that sounds like the start of a Go-Kart race in the apocalypse: an engine revving at full speed. Your thoughts go straight to your friend Bly, who, for some reason, was closer to the bus. But what you see is not promising at all. She's there, screaming like she's in a cheap action movie, "Speed it up, dammit!" But, of course, the fun doesn't last long. Before you can yell "BLY, HOLD ON," something not very cool hits her shoulder, she takes a meme-worthy tumble and, of course, lands face down in the snow. Mental note: Invest in epic fall training.

The guys who were on the "run away from the bus while making as little noise as possible" strategy are now in emergency mode, with machine gun fire cutting through the atmosphere like it's a summer barbecue. Of course, the bus tires are getting destroyed because, apparently, even in war there is a manual on "how to turn your trip into a nightmare".

Oh, and the cherry on top? That sound of SUVs arriving that reminds you of that moment when you look out the window and realize that a battalion of cars has been called up for the most random blockbuster in history. And guess who appears first? Tiva, with her energy of someone who spent the day watching an action movie and decided that the role of "you don't mess with me" was going to be hers. She runs towards the cars in such an epic way that you swear you're watching a spin-off of a fighting game.

Now, the question is: what do you do? Let's go to the options worthy of a superhero:

Bly is down and, of course, the hero here runs like a professional sprinter to save his friend, punching the guys who arrived to take her. Because, of course, who needs a plan, right?

Escape! You go to the bus and, with your amateur driving skills, start helping the gang out while thinking: "Would this be the best plan? Try to avoid being surrounded and get out in style?"

Tiva? She's already going to war, and you, without thinking twice, join her in the mission to face these evil SUVs. If you can hold them off, the gang can escape. Or... you'll become the heroes of chaos. Who knows?

Now, it's up to you how you're going to face this battle: action hero or escape hero?

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