Daoisty2zsf0

Werewolves: The Apocalypse — The Book of Hungry Names
(Now with 98% more ecological guilt and 100% less graphics)

You and your band of traumatized werewolves (read: a group of poorly resolved furry therapists) must save the Living Earth using two infallible ingredients: homicidal rage and questionable spirituality.

In this interactive novel with hundreds of choices (most leading to inevitable doom), you'll have the chance to face a Wyrm Spirit that manifests itself as... a lie you really want to believe. Like that voice that says "I'll start my diet tomorrow." Only with more cosmic destruction.

 Written by Kyle Marquis and set in the wonderful (cough) universe of World of Darkness, this epic without a single image (but with 1.6 million words, in other words, an abusive relationship with reading) is fueled solely by the most powerful thing in the world: your imagination that has already failed three college entrance exams.

You are a werewolf. And like all good werewolf, you are a mix of:

Shaman who thinks meditation cures demonic migraines,

Hero that nobody asked for,

Monster with existential crises,

And sustainability consultant for Mother Gaia (bankrupt, of course).

Created by the goddess of the Earth, you were gifted with the ability to turn into a wolf (in other words, walk around naked with style), and tasked with the noble mission of preventing humanity from turning the planet into a cosmic McTrash.

But guess what? You failed. Congratulations.

 Three years ago, your pack was part of the Sept of Broad Brook, Massachusetts (land of maple syrup and spiritual doom), where werewolves still pretended they had a chance against the Wyrm — the spirit of destruction, chaos, and people who comment “first” on YouTube.

While other Septs fell like dominoes at a satanic rave, yours was there, firm, strong, and deluded. Some said you would prevent the Apocalypse. Others just thought it was funny to watch the circus burn.

Now, all that’s left is for you to pick up the pieces (literally), avoid becoming an evil spirit’s kibble, and, who knows, write your name in the Book of Hungry Names — the one that eats hopes, New Year’s promises, and happy endings.

Do you want me to adapt this to become the introduction to chapter 1 as well?

Of course! Here's a Desciclopédia-style warning, with a touch of acid and humor, that you can put at the beginning of your story on Wattpad to make everything clear:

WARNING BEFORE SOME LITIGIOUS SPIRIT COMES TO BARK

This work is a humorous reinterpretation (read: full of irony, sarcasm, dark humor and some inconvenient truths) based on the style of interactive stories like those from Choice of Games. But, before anyone calls the lawyers or invokes the spirit of copyright, let's make something VERY clear:

This is not plagiarism. It's parody. It's a joke. It's entertainment.

(And, let's be honest, not even Mother Gaia would bother to sue.)

The writing adopted follows the Desciclopédia style, that is:

Nothing is sacred.

Everything can be a joke.

If you get offended, congratulations, the system worked.

 This is a tongue-in-cheek homage to the classics of the genre, using the interactive format to tell stories that are bizarre, tragic, hilarious, and incredibly stupid (sometimes all at the same time). None of the original Choice of Games content was copied directly—only the structure was inspired, because let’s face it, reinventing the wheel is a lot of work.

If you want an epic journey with deep moral dilemmas, go play the original.

If you want to laugh at your own misfortune while turning into a werewolf and punching mystical capitalism with your paws, go ahead. It’s your house.

Zerk World) Zombo Stars

**"Wolves on the Rampage: Near-Suicide Mission"**

*Scene:* You and Tiva jump into an SUV so spacious you could even have a human barbecue in the trunk. She sniffs the seat and comments: *"Ah, it still smells new... and like enemy blood. Perfect."* The keys are in the ignition because, clearly, the humans underestimated the wolves' ability to steal cars. *"They thought we were just big dogs,"* laughs Tiva, adjusting the seat like she's an Uber about to turn into *Mad Max*.

You, however, have that *heroic cliché* activated and announce: *"Let's go back there!"*

Tiva looks at you as if you suggested licking a hedgehog. *"Look, APEX PREDATORI,"* she says, using a nickname that sounds like a *WWE wolf wrestler's name*, *"I want to save you guys too, but there are SO many of them that even John Wick would call for backup!"*

The fact that Tiva—the same wolf who's probably killed a bear with a spoon—is hesitant is a sure sign that the situation is *"99% chance of gruesome death"*. But you insist: *"We have to try."*

Tiva shakes (with anger or fear, who knows?), looks at the bandits lined up like they're *zombies on sale*, and then—*CLASSIC MIND CHANGE MOMENT*—she hits the dashboard so hard that the plastic cracks. *"FUCK IT! Let's take out ten of them before we die!"*

- **"Punch it!"** = *"Speed it up, damn it, but I'm warning you that the plan is really bad."*

- **Tiva cracking the dashboard** = *A sign that the car won't last until the first run-over.*

- **"Apex Predatori"** = *Either you're the protagonist or you just have a very specific martyr complex.*

1. **Speed towards the massacre** like a *makeshift battle tank*, hoping the airbag doesn't activate in your snout.

2. **Turn on the radio** and discover that the only song playing is *"Highway to Hell"*. Coincidence? *NEVER.*

3. **Give up and order an Uber** (but the driver cancels when he sees the scenario).

*Choose wisely... or don't, because honestly, you already have a one-way ticket to Valhalla of Wolves.* 🚗💥🐺

5