Daoisty2zsf0

Werewolves: The Apocalypse — The Book of Hungry Names
(Now with 98% more ecological guilt and 100% less graphics)

You and your band of traumatized werewolves (read: a group of poorly resolved furry therapists) must save the Living Earth using two infallible ingredients: homicidal rage and questionable spirituality.

In this interactive novel with hundreds of choices (most leading to inevitable doom), you'll have the chance to face a Wyrm Spirit that manifests itself as... a lie you really want to believe. Like that voice that says "I'll start my diet tomorrow." Only with more cosmic destruction.

 Written by Kyle Marquis and set in the wonderful (cough) universe of World of Darkness, this epic without a single image (but with 1.6 million words, in other words, an abusive relationship with reading) is fueled solely by the most powerful thing in the world: your imagination that has already failed three college entrance exams.

You are a werewolf. And like all good werewolf, you are a mix of:

Shaman who thinks meditation cures demonic migraines,

Hero that nobody asked for,

Monster with existential crises,

And sustainability consultant for Mother Gaia (bankrupt, of course).

Created by the goddess of the Earth, you were gifted with the ability to turn into a wolf (in other words, walk around naked with style), and tasked with the noble mission of preventing humanity from turning the planet into a cosmic McTrash.

But guess what? You failed. Congratulations.

 Three years ago, your pack was part of the Sept of Broad Brook, Massachusetts (land of maple syrup and spiritual doom), where werewolves still pretended they had a chance against the Wyrm — the spirit of destruction, chaos, and people who comment “first” on YouTube.

While other Septs fell like dominoes at a satanic rave, yours was there, firm, strong, and deluded. Some said you would prevent the Apocalypse. Others just thought it was funny to watch the circus burn.

Now, all that’s left is for you to pick up the pieces (literally), avoid becoming an evil spirit’s kibble, and, who knows, write your name in the Book of Hungry Names — the one that eats hopes, New Year’s promises, and happy endings.

Do you want me to adapt this to become the introduction to chapter 1 as well?

Of course! Here's a Desciclopédia-style warning, with a touch of acid and humor, that you can put at the beginning of your story on Wattpad to make everything clear:

WARNING BEFORE SOME LITIGIOUS SPIRIT COMES TO BARK

This work is a humorous reinterpretation (read: full of irony, sarcasm, dark humor and some inconvenient truths) based on the style of interactive stories like those from Choice of Games. But, before anyone calls the lawyers or invokes the spirit of copyright, let's make something VERY clear:

This is not plagiarism. It's parody. It's a joke. It's entertainment.

(And, let's be honest, not even Mother Gaia would bother to sue.)

The writing adopted follows the Desciclopédia style, that is:

Nothing is sacred.

Everything can be a joke.

If you get offended, congratulations, the system worked.

 This is a tongue-in-cheek homage to the classics of the genre, using the interactive format to tell stories that are bizarre, tragic, hilarious, and incredibly stupid (sometimes all at the same time). None of the original Choice of Games content was copied directly—only the structure was inspired, because let’s face it, reinventing the wheel is a lot of work.

If you want an epic journey with deep moral dilemmas, go play the original.

If you want to laugh at your own misfortune while turning into a werewolf and punching mystical capitalism with your paws, go ahead. It’s your house.

Zerk World) Zombo Stars

**"Premium Captivity: The Saga of the Wolf in a Van Without Wi-Fi"**

*Scene:* You're *kidnapped*, but with a touch of *dubious class*—tied in the back of a van that, surprisingly, has *better suspension than the elders' bus*. Between the smell of cheap cigarettes and the taste of bitter defeat, something *strangely epic* hangs in the air (or is it just the mold in the upholstery?).

### **The "Comfort" of Captivity**

- **You:** *"At least I'm not on that bus that rocks like a boat with a hangover."*

- **Your Wolf Instinct:** *"Something's wrong... besides the obvious fact that we're trapped."* (Spoiler: *It's always worse than it seems.*)

- **Jolon, the Useless Optimist:** *"We did our best!"* (Translation: *"We failed, but with style!"*)

### **The Smoking Guard (Or: 'The Guy Who Looks Like a 5th-Cate Movie Villain')**

- **Voice:** *"He looks like he smoked a pack of Marlboros with gunpowder."*

- **Preferred Capture Method:** *"I wanted to drug you, but some of my colleagues *blood in their eyes* preferred *beating*."*

- **Current Hobby:** *Cutting cigars like a serial killer on his coffee break.*

### **YOUR DIALOGUE OPTIONS (Because Villains Also Ask Rhetorical Questions)**

1. **"Enhancements? How were you 'enhanced'?"**

- *Junior Mad Scientist level villain.* Wants to know the enemy's secrets so he can later *steal the technology and become a wolf cyborg*.

2. **"Oh, *now* you talk? Just to brag about beating up wolf grandmas?"**

- *Sarcastic Petulant level villain.* You're going to die, but *you're going to die being right*.

3. **"Who do you work for? We're already prisoners, at least tell us the end of the story!"**

- *Villain level: Professional Curious.* Wants the *plot twist* before the third act.

4. **"Super-soldiers? You're just *lab rats* with a Rambo complex!"**

- *Villain level: Creative Insulter.* If you're going to die, *let it be by humiliating the enemy*.

**Option 4**, with the right to *evil laugh*. Because:

- ✅ *Insults the self-esteem* of the "super-soldiers" (who probably cry in the shower).

- ✅ *Begs for a twist* like *"You'll see what lab rats can do!"* → *cue epic escape scene*. - ✅ **Tiva would approve.** (If she's not *hanging from another seatbelt*.)

*"Cigar and arrogance? Hmm, *smells like failure*..."*

*Go on, oh **Wolf Ambassador of Chaos**, and remember: even Hannibal Lecter started out in prison.* 🚬🐺💣

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