Chapter nine

The fear that won't let me live.

 I sat on my my, in tears. I was isolated didn't know what to do, I couldn't help myself. I cried for hours. " Why I'm I nor happy, why the tears I thought as I couldn't help the tears from my eyes. I have waited to be held my him, I've always wanted to be his woman but when he asked " what did I do? I know I wasn't getting myself I had to call my friends.

 Hey! Girls I asked. How was the date, tell me he popped the question, what did you say? Ava asked. Hmm I don't know what to say "I replied". Don't tell me he didn't ask the question I mean what where you guys doing, just looking at each other's eyes. It's not like that . Start talking I want all the gist Aria ria said

 Don't tell me you said no, " yes I didn't reply him. What did you do. "Umm" I left with out saying a word 'what " they both replied, with their eyes wide open. Why, I mean why did you leave with out any word? Aria asked. I'm scared, scared of all the lies, scared of all the unfulfilled promises, I mean I can't help it. What if he doesn't fullfil the promise of getting married to me , what if we don't ah I don't know what to say but I'm scared.

 Life happened, we know but you can't be single forever I mean two heads is better than one, Ava said. That's why they both left me with out a word they didn't even look back if I was going to be alright, it's been both of them. I don't want to live that kind of life anymore, I just want to be happy, I don't know if it's even possible.

 I ended the call, sat on my bed baffled. Why is my own different, will I ever over come this pain, I thought. Immediately my phone rang , it was Jeffery and I couldn't pick it. I felt bad for walking out on him but I couldn't help it .