Saturday.
Nice weather.
Birds chirping. The perfect kind of day to stay home and avoid any possible social scandals.
But me — dumbass Kyle — I said the fatal words:
"Misa, don't go near the door."
Naturally, what was the first thing she did?
Yup.
Opened the door. And stepped out.
Barefoot. Wearing only my shirt.
Face glowing with excitement like a child in a theme park... a very perverted one.
I ran after her, trying hard not to look like a man chasing a half-naked girl through the park.
(Even though that was exactly what was happening.)
"Misa! Come back! People can see you!"
"People? Where?"
she said as she hopped onto the fence — shirt riding up — and I swear, old man Jenkins from the second floor dropped his cup of tea in horror.
"Kyle!"
she shouted, spinning in the grass.
"This garden is amazing! Is this a mating ground?!"
"…WHAT?! Nooo!!"
"But it's open, grassy, full of smells!"
she said, sniffing the ground like a damn cat, then turned toward me with danger in her eyes—
"I feel like it's mating seaso—"
"MISAAAAAAAAA!!"
I slapped my hand over her mouth before she could finish, laughing nervously like an actor in a blood pressure medication commercial.
And that's when the real disaster showed up…
Our neighbor — Miss Camilla.
Perfect. Elegant. Carries a tiny dog that looks like a plush toy. The exact opposite of chaos.
She stood there. Watching.
Misa on top of me.
Me on the ground.
My hand on her mouth.
Clothes a complete mess.
Camilla raised an eyebrow and said with venom in her voice:
"Hmm... Strange morning, Kyle."
"THIS ISN'T WHAT IT LOOKS LIKE!!"
I screamed like I'd just been caught in a scandalous anime scene.
Misa?
Smiled like the devil himself and said:
"I'm his kitty. He's my Master. We're doing morning cuddles!"
Camilla looked at me.
Then at her.
Then giggled — the evil kind — and said:
"Cute... Have fun, Master."
She walked off.
Leaving behind nothing but the wreckage of my social life.
Back inside, I dragged Misa by her tail.
"Why the hell did you say that?!"
I shouted, shaking.
"I told the truth."
she said casually, licking her finger.
"You're my Master... and I don't like anyone touching you. Not humans. Not tiny fake dogs like that one."
Then she jumped into my lap, yanked down my shirt, and whispered:
"Now... shall we start Round Two of morning cuddles?"
I screamed.
And my voice hit the neighbor's front door like a siren.