confidential

dasch: i saw you sneak out last night.

dude: so what's your point

dasch: that you sneaked out

dude: how is it sneak out. i literally walked out.

dasch: no there was something sketchy about it.

dude: what should i have done to not make it seem sneak out.

dasch: you were all dressed in black clothing.

dude: should I have worn white then?

dasch: it was getting dark at night and you wore black.

dude: what does that have anything to do with being sneaky?

dasch: well, wearing dark makes you less visible, it's like a camouflage.

dude: you are overanalyzing

dasch: well, so far, you have been defensive about it. then can you answer this? where did you go?

dude: outside

dasch: outside where

dude: outside somewhere

dasch: outside somewhere where

dude: outside somewhere that's not home.

dasch: see, you are covering up everything. this is what being sneaky is about.

dude: i do not think you have authority to demand my whereabouts. you are not FBI or CIA agent.

dasch: you wouldn't know if i were. that's the whole point of being FBI or CIA agent.

dude: well, i guess i am also one too then. think about it. i was wearing all black and sneaked out last night. i was on a secret mission.

dasch: why would FBI or CIA hire two agents unaware of each other in the same location.

dude: i don't know maybe we are supposed to not know. you have your mission and i have my mission.

dasch: but then if that were the case, why would you reveal that you are an agent? that's so unprofessional.

dude: well, i guess i'm still in a training phase.

dasch: if that's the case, you failed miserably since i caught you sneaking out last night wearing dark clothes.

dude: my mission isn't to avoid your surveilance.

dasch: you better confess where you have been. otherwise, this will go up on my report.

dude: well, your interrogation doesn't seem to work very well on me.

dasch: you are about raise the bar, i do not want to torture you.

dude: torture? you puny little creature. you are up against someone who is much stronger physically. i am so scared little doggy.

dasch: if words don't suffice, i may have to resort to extreme measures in my back pocket.

dude: you don't even have a pocket. all you have is little brown ball sac. it's so small. i don't think you can afford anything more.

dasch: do you know what metaphor is? it's not a literal back pocket. you dumbass.

dude: whatever backpocket it is, i don't see any of it. what is there to be scared of?

dasch: i'm not here to fool around, you see? the more bullshit you pull, the deeper your grave will be.

dude: well i will make sure you get buried next to me. you shall accompany me.

dasch: no, you are going alone. just like we were born separately. your death is yours. don't put me in that package.

dude: think about this, if you are agent and you are assigned to track me down, wouldn't there be another agent who is tracking you as well?

dasch: so you are playing that card? turning me against my own agency? do you still think this is some kind of joke? your vital sign depends on me.

dude: my heart has never beat so regularly. in fact, i just realized my heart was functioning well.

dasch: enjoy while that lasts.

dude: you better watch yours too. i am pretty sure that you will be retired once my time comes to an end.

dasch: you are trying to manipulate me. i am not being watched. you are trying to infiltrate into my psyche to which you have no access.

dude: just think about it. when's the last time you had an encounter with your agency?

dasch: that's confidential. and your question ends here. i am the one in authority. how dare you try to topple me.

dude: when is the last time you got your paycheck from the agency?

dasch: it's all in the contract and this is none of your concern. keep talking, your longevity will shorten.

dude: habalalala abracadabra scrambled egg bacon cheese fry

dasch: pray that they will be your last meal before execution.

dude: i can't wait. my mouth is already watering. what happens i eat my meal so slow that it takes forever?

dasch: you can ask your executioner.

dude: haha. so you can't even answer that. i wonder you really know what you have signed up for and what you are up against.

dasch: my loyalty and tie with myh agency are sealed airtight.

dude: do you think it is all coincidence that you were sent to our family and you were assigned to watch over its family member?

dasch: what are you getting at.

dude: little doggy. think. we paid to bring you here. where do you think that money went to?

dasch: the pet shop and my agency has no relevance whatsoever. This is an outrageous nonsense.

dude: you were a tiny little 4 months crawler crying for more petfood. what a desperate toddler you were. mouth salivating to the sound of crumples of packages. being raised according to our meal schedule and routine.

dasch: ...

dude: oh has interrogation ended early? what's this silence?

Dasch runs out of the room. Dude chuckles.

dude: ahahaha ahahahaha poor little thing ahahahahahaha my loyal watchdog hahahahaha