Know_yourself

Travis and Carlton are two average guys trying to make it big—except they’re terrible at everything. When a random idea to start a dog-walking business falls into their laps, they realize they’ve found their true calling: scamming their way to success.

At first, they just fake it till they make it—offering "premium dog services" they know nothing about, from overpriced spa treatments to fake dog yoga. But as their business grows, so does their web of lies, and soon they’re pretending to be everything from pet psychic consultants to high-end dog trainers. Each scam is more ridiculous than the last, but somehow they manage to convince clients that they’re experts.

Their latest adventure? A secret underground dog fashion show with elite canine influencers, where the stakes are higher than a poodle’s coiffed hair. But things quickly spiral out of control when their lies get tangled up with actual dangerous (and even illegal) schemes—dog food recalls, fake adoption agencies, and a money-laundering operation disguised as a pet fashion line.

Travis and Carlton find themselves knee-deep in scams, misfit pets, and hilarious situations where the only thing they’re truly good at is getting out of sticky situations… just in time for their next big (and absurd) con.

"Paws, Furs, and Other Scams" is a wild, laugh-out-loud journey through a world of low-level cons, bad decisions, and two friends who will do anything for a quick buck—even if it means fooling the entire city one scam at a time.

Paws, Furs, and Other Scams

Travis was halfway through blending Milk-Bones with oat milk—what he proudly called an "Organic Bone Smoothie"—when the call came in.

"Pawffice Professionals," he said in a cheerful, fake receptionist voice. "How can we walk your world today?"

A sharp British accent replied, "Yes. I require a discreet escort service."

Travis raised an eyebrow. "Sir… this is a dog business."

"Precisely. For Princess Buttermilk. She's a teacup poodle. We have a show tonight."

Carlton, munching cereal behind him, mouthed, Princess what?

"She needs to attend Bark Couture. Invitation-only. The Met Gala for mutts. Bring your best collar."

That evening, they stood outside a dimly lit warehouse in Chinatown behind a long line of dogs and their human handlers. In front of them, a Pomeranian in a tutu trembled with excitement. Behind them, a Great Dane with rhinestones glued to his butt panted slowly in a cloud of cologne.

"I think this is illegal," Carlton whispered.

Travis adjusted his clip-on bow tie. "Which means we're finally making it."

They were waved in by a massive bouncer with a bone tattooed across his neck.

Inside: neon lights, smoke machines, dog-shaped champagne glasses, and booming music that made Travis feel like his brain was vibrating. A dachshund DJ spun remixes behind a booth labeled "DJ BarkyBark."

"This place is insane," Travis whispered.

"This place has sponsors," Carlton replied, staring at a Corgi wearing Louis Vuitton booties.

They signed in under "Team Buttermilk," and were immediately handed a clipboard by a frantic woman wearing four Bluetooth headsets.

"She's in Look 3 and Look 7. Do not let her interact with Ruthie the Whippet. They have beef."

"What kind of beef?" Carlton asked.

"She spilled Perrier on her. Actual Wagyu beef. Long story."

Buttermilk was absolutely thriving. Sunglasses on. Tongue out. She gave the energy of a tiny pop diva in the middle of her comeback tour.

"She's more prepared than we are," Carlton said as he adjusted her rhinestone harness.

"She's royalty. We're just here to carry her emotional baggage," Travis replied.

Backstage, while prepping for Look 7, Travis noticed a shady man with a waxed mustache and suspiciously shiny pants sprinkling glitter into a treat bowl.

"Excuse me, what is that?" Travis asked.

"Protein glitter," the man said stiffly. "For Ruthie. Helps her shine."

"Yes," the man said with a smirk. "Exactly."

"Fashion warfare," Carlton whispered.

They "accidentally" tripped the handler into a pile of inflatable chew toys, setting off a domino effect that knocked over a small French bulldog influencer named "Croissant the Cutie."

When Buttermilk stepped out onto the stage, the room erupted in barks and gasps. Her dress glittered under the lights. She owned the runway.

Until Ruthie came out, dripping in sequins, and gave her a growl that said, "Your tiara is from Target."

Buttermilk spun, dove into her handbag, and leapt into Carlton's arms like a pom-pom with legs.

The crowd exploded. Cameras flashed. Someone fainted. People began chanting: "BUT-TER-MILK! BUT-TER-MILK!"

Backstage, a woman in a designer pantsuit handed Travis an envelope.

"That was iconic. She just landed a Barkle sponsorship."

Carlton peeked into the envelope. Inside: $5,000 cash and a gift card for Ethical Dog Champagne.

Back at their apartment, they dumped the cash on their sagging couch and stared at it.

"We're not dog walkers anymore," Travis said.

"We're dog celebrity managers," Carlton replied.

Chapter 4: Bark Couture – Underground Dog Fashion Show