The unlucky MuffinTop
The scene grew silent. Even the wind in the mountain seemed to stop.
Laotou felt a vein pop. His previous smile was painfully thin.
Without a word, Laotou grabbed his sword, and smacked it against EdgeLord's head!
"Ouch, master! That hurts!"
"Both knees, fool."
EdgeLord69 scrambled awkwardly, dropping to both knees, but still sat up tall. He gave a double thumbs-up like he was posing for a profile picture.
SMACK!
"Forehead to the ground."
SMACK!
"No! Bow. Head down."
SMACK!
"Don't wink at me!"
SMACK!
"Stop blowing kisses!"
…
The players watched on in stunned silence. Laotou was like a baker slapping dough! EdgeLord was slowly, awkwardly getting into a semi-decent kowtow position:
Forehead barely touching the ground, arms trembling from effort, butt sticking awkwardly up in the air.
The players whispered amongst themselves.
"Is this a public execution? Would our big brother die from an NPC's slaps?"
"This… I suddenly don't feel envious at first clear!"
"Is senior brother secretly a masochist?"
Laotou, seeing EdgeLord has finally managed a halfway acceptable bow, folded his hands behind his back and nodded solemnly.
"Good. Now address me properly."
Muffled against the floor, EdgeLord69 shouted:
"MASTER LAOTOU! TEACH ME YOUR WAYS OF SLAPPING ENEMIES INTO SUBMISSION!"
Laotou's mouth twitched.
He considered slapping this disciple a few more times…
But no. Heaven must be testing him. Amitabha, amitabha…
"Accepted."
Laotou said, turning around rather sharply. Behind him, the players exploded in noise.
"No way! What miracle is this?"
"That worked?!"
"Is this NPC crazy?"
Laotou: …
Screw this! These idiots are tainting my Daoist heart! They must be a lackey of the demon sect! I can't be near them for too long! They might corrupt me!
Laotou quickly flew away, retreating to his pavilion. Whilst the players wondered why the NPC ran away so quickly, they could hear Laotou reciting Buddhist scriptures.
It didn't take long before the players found a new direction.
Inspired by EdgeLord69's heroic performance, they all set out their separate ways! The players grabbed their wooden swords, found a random elemental wolf and followed the example set by their big brother Edge!
It's not that hard, right?
Stand still in a spot. Exchange 100+ blows without getting hit. Spirit beast die from exhaustion. Easy! Right?
At this moment, MuffinTop has descended the mountain, and has flipped the mountain upside down!
After running for what appears to be hours, from the corner of his eye, he spotted an elemental wolf busy licking itself!
"Haha! Big brother has finally found his target! Chat, type 1 to show support! I will definitely kill it."
"Don't jinx yourself brother muffin."
"Your gaming skill is worse than my pinky!"
"Even my grandma is better at games than you!"
MuffinTop: …
"Mods! Ban those viewers!"
"Wait! Master MuffinTop, I knew my mistake! Please don't—"
( user XXX has been banned from the channel )
( user XYZ has been banned from the channel )
( user ABC has been banned from the channel )
( user… )
The chat grew temporarily silent, but energy quickly replenished by poking fun at the unlucky viewers.
Oh the other hand, MuffinTop focused on the elemental wolf in the distance. "We've all seen big brother EdgeLord's demonstration. It can't be that hard right? Let me show you how it's done!"
Saying this, MuffinTop confidently walked towards the elemental wolf in the distance. As the beast noticed the eccentric youth approaching, MuffinTop raised his hand and... 🖕
"If you don't fight me! You're gay!" the player shouted.
The spirit beast was momentarily confused, but sensing the youth was mocking him, it charged!
The elemental wolf closed down the distance in a blink of an eye! Facing this, MuffinTop was very composed. He pulled out his sword, and his body was prepared!
The wolf lunged forward! Its sharp teeth inching towards his neck! MuffinTop smirked, confidently, he leaned back to evade the attack. Just as he readied his sword…
The beast suddenly changed trajectory and bit his arm!
Seeing this, MuffinTop was in shock!
The spirit beast… faked his attack???
The chat went crazy.
"LOL, brother muffin fell for the beast's trick."
"I told you! Even my grandma has better gaming skills."
"Noob Muffin. NOOB!"
Alarmed, MuffinTop quickly shook his arm, trying to shake the beast off. But compared the physique of a normal civilian to a rank 2 spirit beast, MuffinTop's actions had no effect!
The beast stubborn bit his arm! And under the continuous bleeding, MuffinTop was completely defeated. Before long, the youth fell on the ground lifelessly
[ Player MuffinTop has died ]
[ It is recommended to create a new character in the game. ]
[ Reminder: as player MuffinTop has died too many times, the next respawn have a cooldown of 6 hours. ]
MuffinTop: …
The live-streamer cursed frantically in the login space. His face was extremely dark, and his hands wanted to strangle the game developers!
System: eh, why did I feel danger?
"Stupid game! The monsters are not balanced! How could they create such cursed beginner's quest!"
"LOLOLOLOL, brother Muffin is just a noob gamer."
"When you kill a monster. You say you're a pro. When you are killed by a monster. You say the game's trash. I've never seen such a shameless gamer."
"I agree with the above viewer."
"I agree."
"I also agree."
"+1"
"+2"
"+…"
Faced with the mocking of his viewers, MuffinTop was extremely mad, but he couldn't muster any words to describe his mood. His only reaction was to vent on the developers.
Who made such a ridiculously hard game?
MuffinTop cursed. "This game is trash! Screw this!"
The viewers were amused.
"Oh, is big brother giving up?"
"You didn't forget your promise, did you brother Muffin?"
"Eat shoe!"
"Eat shoe +2"
"Eat shoe…"
MuffinTop suppressed his rage. "Who said I'm giving up! Although this game is hard, a promise is a promise! I will finish this beginner's quest…. just let me cry for a bit…"
Saying this, MuffinTop quickly exited the game. He opened up the capsule's recording functionality, and rewatched EdgeLord's heroic feat. The streamer memorised EdgeLord's attack patterns, his evasion technique, and even the timing of his swings!
After remembering all these details, MuffinTop re-entered the game, created a brand new character, and went monster killing!
"Elemental wolf, here I come!"
MuffinTop scoured the mountain, but found the amount of these creatures were getting harder and harder to find. Was it because the players were causing such a commotion that the creatures went hiding? Impossible. It's just a game… right?
After walking for hours, MuffinTop came to a cave entrance. And at the very front, there was a lone elemental wolf bathing under the sun! MuffinTop grew excited.
"Haha! I found my next target. This time… I will surely kill it!"
The viewers went mocking.
"So confident? Are you not afraid of death?"
"I bet $10 brother Muffin will die within 10 exchanges."
"Grab some popcorns, boys! Entertainment is coming!"
MuffinTop felt his vein pop, but he suppressed his anger. Carefully, he approached the unaware wolf. With his wooden sword in hand, he sneaked behind the creature… and then he bashed the sword against its head!
"AWOOOOOO!" the elemental wolf cried out in surprise, leaving MuffinTop in surprise.
He jumped back, his sword clutched in his hands. "Come get me! Stupid dog!"
MuffinTop stood his ground, eyeing down the monster with cold and focused eyes. "This time… I will succeed!"
"AWOOOOO!"
"AWOOOOO!"
"AWOOOOO!"
MuffinTop shivered. Why… why did I hear multiple howls? Where did that noise come from?
The youth quickly looked around, trying to find the source of the noise. As the elemental wolf stood at the cave entrance, multiple similar monsters appeared from the cave! Many… so many elemental wolves came out from the cave!
2….4…..6….
At least half a dozen elemental wolves stood at the cave entrance, eyeing down the little MuffinTop.
The player shivered in fear… Did I accidentally find the respawn point? Oh crap, they all staring at me like dead meat!
MuffinTop turned around… and ran for his life!