The Walking dead : Supreme Survival System (TWD)

I am currently revising my fanfic and making changes based on the suggestions I received. Could you please reread the revised chapter and let me know if there are still areas that could be improved.

The story follows the story of a guy with a system that tells him everything he has to do. So far so good. I would want a system like that too. At first, it is impossible to tell whether the character is reincarnated or an original native of the world. He wakes up to people screaming, apparently on Day 0 of the outbreak. The system is activated and he starts running from the zombies, killing some here and others there. The first zombie he kills is a neighbor of the character. That he knows. Name and everything. That's when I thought, "This character hasn't been reincarnated, but that's okay. I'll keep reading." As he ran, he ended up on a street and the system alerted him of humans and a dispute. Humans killing each other. A little early for something as violent as one group hunting another, but oh well. Summary. The group that was being hunted died and the character saw everything without doing anything. Normal. I would do the same depending on the situation. That's when he met Lily, who was the daughter of one of the people being chased. The people were inside a van. Just to add details. The child was ALONE! Left behind. It was said that it was to protect the child from pursuers, but considering that she was alone, and the people in the van were fleeing, the girl would probably have been bitten or starved to death. That is if the protagonist hadn't appeared and helped the girl. After that, they went through the whole city, found the same group of people, ran away, hid, ran away again and then, after ALL the chapters were suspenseful, they almost died, they encounter the quarry group, where it is revealed that the protagonist is actually someone reincarnated. The group lets the two stay with them, since, well, it's an adult and a child, so, it helps, first week of the apocalypse, the moral compass was still pretty much intact and among other things. And that's when the protagonist and Glenn have to go to a city in search of supplies. Not Atlanta. Trap, escape, run, a lot of luck and they manage to get back to the camp. And from here on, the story goes from an 8 to a 0. When they arrive at the camp, they discover that they have been invaded by zombies. Amy, Andrea's sister, dies, Jim is bitten, many other people die. Sound familiar? That's because it is! It's the same thing that happened in the series while Rick and the others were trying to rescue Daryl's brother. Have you noticed that I haven't mentioned him yet? That's because he doesn't appear! No clue as to his name. I even thought he would appear later, after all, they were still at the beginning of the end of the world and he and his brother may have appeared a few days later. An undetermined amount of time, but less than an hour later, Rick arrives at the camp. 3 months before Canon. No outside interference. No help. And Daryl is not with them! Somehow he knew Lori and Carl would be there. There's also the matter of where he woke up, his reaction and travel time, but I won't add that. It's messy. I know. Continuing, Rick begins to compromise the survivors of the invasion, including Andrea who has just lost her sister and Jim who was bitten. And EVERYONE is happy, despite what happened. There was no burial, no long mourning. This would be normal if the apocalypse had been happening for much longer. Then, Rick turns to the group and starts to COMMAND and everyone obeys. Without question. I know that before long Rick alone decides that the group will go to the CDC. That's as far as I've read. There were some details missing, but the comment was already extensive. Summary of the summary: It started out interesting and fell apart as quickly as a cell phone falls out of your hand. And Daryl didn't show up.

the book is good its just the ai translation adds way to much filler making the book feel ai generated

The story is somewhat interesting but the use of capital letters is too exaggerated and the author uses AI, that's not bad if you check the details more closely but sometimes there are things that don't seem to make sense, that's common when the story is written by an AI.

some changes in relation to the show, by the way where is Daryl? It's been fifty chapters and he hasn't even been mentioned.😔😔😔😔😔😔😔😔😔😔😔😔😔😔😔😔😔😔😔😔😔😔😔😔

No sigue el canon de la serie y creo que tampoco el cómics asi que no se bien pensar de los capitulos. Amy muere antes del CDC y a rick lo encuentran antes de la muerte de amy. Yo pensaba que estabas en la parte de la perdida de sofia pero no. No hables del canon si no vas a respetar lo basico. El protagonista al principio no sabe nada de the walking dead o es un rencarnado o solo el sistema lo sabe y el protagonista no. Es entretenida pero tenes mesclados muchos hechos y el prota es totalmente dependiente del sistema.

The chapters are mixed up and I’m pretty sure your missing a chapter after getting to the camp

Translation to English?? I listen to it but I can’t if I have translations on

I am currently revising my fanfic and making changes based on the suggestions I received. Could you please reread the revised chapter and let me know if there are still areas that could be improved.