CHAPTER 5 - Getting Used to a Dead Body.

CHAPTER 5 - Getting Used to a Dead Body.

Ugh, even though I killed a ton of zombies, there are still plenty around here.

Well, considering the millions of people living in this country, all the zombies I've taken out aren't even 0.0000000001% of the total! Are my calculations accurate? Hell if I know! Ahhhhhhhh! Scratch that, thank you, God, for letting me be a zombie who can control himself, at least while I'm awake and not drinking human blood!

I gotta be honest, being a zombie has a ton of advantages, and the downsides basically boil down to not being able to have sex, kiss, or have pets. But it's a fair price compared to all the perks I've got.

And, well, I may not have pets, but I've got a new sister! Kiasan, I'm absolutely sure your company will make my life less lonely.

And I promise to always treat you like my little sister. Yeah, I'll admit, I enjoyed having sex and feeling boobs in my hands, but I'd trade that a thousand times over for a little sister.

I'm an only child, so I want to experience what it's like to have a sibling.

…Oh… She's scared. She's gripping my hand tightly as we walk. She's super scared because there are a lot of zombies wandering around nearby.

Don't worry, Kiasan, zombies might be cannibals, but they're not cannibal-cannibals. They don't eat other zombies, so we'll be safe. After all, we're zombies!

We're the ultra-mega-awesome zombie team!

"Don't worry, Kiasan, the zombies won't attack us. We're zombies too… By the way, do you know how to cook?"

Talking to her will help build our bond and… Oh.

Kiasan tripped and nearly fell, but I managed to grab her arm and keep her from hitting the ground.

Phew. That was close.

"That was a close one… Can you walk?"

Kiasan nodded.

Hmm… I think she's still not used to her new body. Well, it's not her original body, after all. It'll take time for her to get used to being in the body of a little girl.

I stepped away from her and sat on the ground.

"Come here."

She came closer, and I looked at her legs… Yeah, I suspected as much—she's walking wrong. And she's trembling… Like a baby just learning to walk.

She stood in front of me.

I don't want her to have an accident. We've got plenty of time for her to adjust.

"Ugh… It must be weird and confusing, right? Having a new body and coming back to life… Or almost to life. I still don't get what zombies actually are."

Kiasan nodded.

"Ra… Ra… Ra… R-rare."

"Yeah… Some really weird stuff is happening in the world. You're not the only one confused. Look at me, I'm a talking zombie."

…She was a ghost!! Why do weird things keep happening to me lately?!

Ahhhhhhhh!! The world's gone to shit!

"L-listen, I just remembered you were a ghost! Do you remember that?! Could you, like, walk through walls and all that?! So cool!"

Fufu. If I were a ghost, I could've spied on my classmates' moms taking a bath! Ahhhhhhhh! They were so sexy! I tried flirting with one of them, but her husband broke my face. That's why I swore never to flirt with a married woman. Plus, I wouldn't want my wife cheating on me with another guy… But… Well, if a married woman flirts with me first, then… W-well, it depends on her looks. If she checks all the boxes for what I find attractive, maybe I'd sleep with a married woman… Ahhhhhhhh! I'm a sicko! I just pictured Sara's mom, my ex-girlfriend's mom, having sex with me while her husband watched! I'm a disgrace as a man!

"I-I… n-no leave… T-tra… T-trap…"

I think I know what she's trying to say.

"Trapped?"

"Y-yes."

"…You couldn't leave this place? Did you die here?"

"I-I th-think… Y-yes."

She died here, huh?

I looked around.

We're on the outskirts of town… Next to a highway… Given the surroundings, she probably died in a crash.

Poor thing. Being doomed to spend eternity in this place sounds like hell. Kiasan got lucky, but there are probably tons of ghosts stuck here right now, unable to leave. Poor souls. I'd pray for you, but given the situation we're in, God's abandoned us!

"I see… Don't worry, Kiasan! You've got a chance to start a new life!"

I picked her up in my arms and smiled at her.

I can't let a little girl feel confused and sad!

"I'll protect you with my life. We'll help each other. I'll protect you and get you food, and you'll be my friend. Our lives will be less boring. Let's go!"

I started running while carrying Kiasan in my arms.

"You need to get used to your body. When we get home, try walking as much as you can. I'll look for clothes."

I think there's clothes in the girl's room… Well, it was the zombie girl's room, so they should fit.

I wonder if Kiasan will grow or not. Can zombies keep aging? We'll find out.

But… Regeneration, super strength, inhuman endurance… Zombies are seriously dangerous monsters.

Kiasan, the world might never be the same as before, but I'll do everything I can to give you a good life.

I guarantee it.

•

•

"Motherfucker!! Damn sons of bitches!! Who the hell brought us to this place?!"

"Celes, don't yell, you'll attract those Undead."

Celes and Rem, fantasy creatures, were hiding in an alley because there were hundreds of zombies on the streets. Hundreds of thousands of zombies. And since Celes yelled, that drew them in.

A complete idiot.

The zombies turned to look at them and immediately charged, growling and screaming like wild beasts.

"They found us!"

"I told you! Ice Magic: Ice Wall."

A blue mist shot from Rem's hands, and an ice wall formed from it. Real magic.

Unfortunately, that magic wasn't enough to stop them.

The zombies easily broke through the wall using their own bodies and fists, as if the ice wall was just wet dirt, shocking both of them. They never expected these zombies to be that strong.

"What kind of Undead are these things?!"

Rem grabbed Celes' hand and started running, fleeing from the zombies, leaving behind her adventurer's pride.

It was necessary, but Celes felt humiliated having to escape from zombies she considered inferior.

"We need to get out of here!"

"Tch. Motherfucker. This has to be a fucking joke!! They're just Undead!!"

She let go of Rem and prepared to fight with her fists. A total idiot.

"Come here, you bastards!!"

"Idiot!!"

"Fairy Magic: Serfa Tree."

A small fairy tossed a seed to the ground, and instantly, a tree sprouted, its branches stopping the zombies.

The branches and trunks regenerated immediately, so it didn't matter that the zombies destroyed them—they couldn't get through the tree.

"Ugh, Celes, as idiotic as ever."

"Who're you calling an idiot, you shitty fairy?!"

"Nashai, you're still alive!"

"I got lucky that the Undead don't know how to attack flying targets. But their attempts were interesting," the fairy said, recalling how the zombies threw whatever objects they could find to knock her down. When they realized they couldn't hit her, they tried jumping to reach her, surprising the fairy. With each failed attempt, they improved, going from jumping just 40 centimeters off the ground to three meters, worrying her enough to fly away, afraid they might actually reach her.

She looked like a 10-year-old girl with red wings, short pink hair, red eyes, and a princess tiara.

"We need to get out of here. The speed of adaptation and improvement in these Undead is just incredible. We have to get away from them."

The tree lost power, and the zombies destroyed it, scaring the fairy even more, as the tree was supposed to hold for another 10 minutes.

"This way, I found a way out!"

"This day can't get any weirder! Damn gods!!"

"Idiot, don't insult the gods, Celes!"

They escaped by climbing a building while the fairy watched the zombies below, who were trying to scale it.

She noticed a couple of zombies managing to climb a meter using their hands before falling, then trying again, surpassing their previous record and falling again, and so on.

The fairy started sweating coldly and kept flying.

"What kind of Undead are these things?"

•

•

(Pov - Zei.)

Wow… This day can get weirder… Seriously?!

"A-a zombie with a giant eye…? What?! So cool!!"

I set Kiasan down on the ground to get a better look at the zombie.

"Wait here."

I approached the zombie. Wow. Awesome. So awesome!!

"It was a woman… 30 or 40 years old… Her clothes are weird… Armor and a sword? That's odd… Did they attack her at an anime convention?"

An adult woman in armor with a sword… Well, well.

I grabbed her arm and looked closely… Her eye is seriously huge. Super gross.

"…It's like a cyclops… The zombie virus is mutating so fast… Could this be some kind of special zombie? Like me?"

This is getting weirder by the minute.

"…Can you understand me? Can you talk?"

…No reaction. Hmm… Yeah, I think it's a full-on zombie. It has a bite on its neck and several on its arms.

Rest in peace, miss.

"It's a complete zombie."

I'll kill it. Leaving a mutated zombie loose is never a good idea. It might keep mutating and become something way worse. Video games taught me that special zombies are always a pain in the ass! I've gotta kill it before it turns into an even stronger zombie!

I was about to pull out my knife, but I looked at her sword. It looks real.

"…It doesn't look like plastic."

I took it and examined it closely… Red hilt… The sword has some writing, but I don't recognize the script… Is it from some video game?

"…Is it real? Wow… Her costume is amazing."

I'll test it.

I held the sword with both hands… Like in video games, Zei.

One, two, three.

With all my strength, I sliced off its head with the sword.

"Huh…? First try! Awesome!"

…Oh… Shit, I forgot about Kiasan! I showed her something awful!

I turned to look at Kiasan.

"S-sorry, but it was necessary to kill it. It's not a good idea to let a mutated zombie roam free."

"N-no… D-don't… w-w-worry."

"Thanks for understanding."

I crouched down and looked at the head… It's still moving… The brain needs to be destroyed.

Ugh, this is gonna be gross.

Using the sword, I stabbed through the zombie's head.

"Done."

Should I keep the sword? Obviously!

"I'll kill zombies in cooler ways with this! I'll look like the protagonist of a zombie video game!"

And if I had a harem, I'd be an anime protagonist… Ahhhhhhhh! I wish I could have sex! And I definitely don't want to commit necrophilia! I hope someday I meet a woman with my ability to control her zombie self.

Fufu. And I hope she's 35-40 years old.

I walked over to Kiasan and crouched down.

"Climb onto my shoulders; I might accidentally hurt you with the sword."

Kiasan nodded, climbed onto my shoulders, and I started walking.

Thanks to my new strength, I can carry her on my shoulders easily. I don't even feel her weight. I'm getting cooler by the second! Ladies, I can't have sex with you, but I give you permission to masturbate thinking about me! Guys, to show I'm fair, you can masturbate thinking about me too! You're welcome!

"Z-zom… Zom… Z-zom… Z-zombie… w-weird."

"Yeah… It looked like a cyclops. The zombie virus is changing bodies… I think that's why my body changed and I got abilities… I got really lucky. I can control my… my…"

I stopped and looked at the zombie's body I just killed… I'm an idiot!

"I lose control when I sleep! What if she was asleep too?! What if she could control her body too?!"

"N-no… N-no… N-no s-soul… N-no… N-no l-live."

"Huh? How do you know? Can you see souls?"

"A-abi… A-ability t-too… I h-have a-abi… a-abilities."

K-Kiasan has abilities too?! And soul-related ones?! Ahhhhhhhh!!! So cool!!!

"That's amazing! You can see souls?! That's why you got the notification, you got abilities… Awesome! How many do you have?!"

"T-two."

"What's the other one?"

"R-rege… R-rege… R-re…"

"Regeneration?"

"Y-yes."

Ugh, I thought it'd be a rarer ability, but it's still awesome that Kiasan has two abilities!

Kiasan, I wanted you by my side so I wouldn't feel alone, but you're gonna be super useful!

"You're amazing, Kiasan!! The ultra-mega-awesome zombie team just got stronger!! Zombies, come bow before your masters!! I'm the Zombie King, and Kiasan's the Zombie Princess!! Sorry, Kiasan, I can't make you Queen; I don't want people calling me a pedo."

"N-no… d-don't… w-worry."

…Wait a sec… Can I really proclaim myself Zombie King? There are millions of people in the world; I'm sure there are at least 1,000 others like me with my ability.

And if one of those people learns to control their power better… Hmm… That could be dangerous. They might turn into a villain who rapes zombies or even normal humans. A villain who wants to take over what's left of the human world.

I won't let my guard down with those bastards, even if they're older women.

I'm not interested in wasting time pretending to be a generic villain. All I want is to keep living my life and make Kiasan happy. I want to have a family again; that's all I want.

And if some son of a bitch tries to screw up my life even more, I'll kill them!

•

•

"What about her mom?!"

Three little Cyclops girls were crying as they hugged Rem.

They were on a building's rooftop, gathered with other magical girls. The fairy girl was watching the zombies climb the building to avoid being caught off guard.

"She split off from us and left this place. She used her own body to distract the Undead to save us. Thanks to her, we're still alive," said "Number 8," a huge three-meter-tall woman.

She has short black hair, brown eyes, and small breasts.

"The Undead are more dangerous. They resist magical attacks and are super fast. One mistake, and we're dead, nya," said "Diana," the cat woman.

She has cat ears, a tail, and cat-like paws for feet. She has short blue hair and pink eyes.

"If we want to survive, we need to get out of here… From here, you can see a forest. Let's head there," said "Rose," the dog woman.

She has large dog ears and a tail. She has blue eyes, long white hair, and tan skin.

"Uwaaaah! We want to see our mom!"

"Rem, please, save our mom!"

"You can find her! You can do anything!"

Rem patted their heads.

"I promise I'll find Iris. Don't cry, please. Iris won't die that easily. She's an A-class adventurer. She won't die."

•

•

(Pov - Zei.)

"Awesome!"

I'm holding the head of that zombie in my hand. I gotta hang it somewhere! Not every day you see a zombie like this…! Well, I guess… Maybe there are more.

A Cyclops zombie. Hahahahahaha! So cool! I wonder if there's a giant zombie out there.

"G-gross… W-why…?"

"Why'd I take its head? It's a souvenir. It's a zombie with a giant eye!!"

"S-scared… G-gross."

…

Kiasan's trembling… Sorry, I didn't consider your feelings.

"Sorry… I guess it's not that important."

I dropped the head and gave it a big kick.

The head went flying and smashed into a tree… Did the head explode? That was gross… My strength is insane.

I gotta learn to control it better.

"S-sorry."

"N-no… D-don't… Don't worry!"

She's agitated… Her breathing's gotten faster… She's exhausted.

It must be tiring for her to talk. I need to get her a phone or a notebook so she can communicate more easily.

"Don't push yourself too hard; you'll get better at talking little by little."

"Th-tha… Th-thanks."

Alright, let's go eat!