Chapter 13 3-Year-Old Rotten Sandwich

Chapter 13

In the Heavens, Before the Magic Mirror: Tell Me True

"What kind of item is that guy using!? Isn't that just gonna make him angrier? Being violated is one thing, but it's not like he's gonna get killed! He's gonna end up actually dead at this rate!"

"Ugh, what? Poop? Ew, I'm done watching! I'm outta here!"

"Creepy! Using poop, huh? Let's go check on our own people. Yuck!"

"Hahaha! Where'd he even sneak that poop from to stuff in his [Item Box]? Oh man, I didn't even think of that! That guy's not half bad, Melt—no, I mean, the goddess of the poop-user! And in the future, she'll be collecting unicorn dung! Hahaha!"

"Enough, Freeze! Don't mock him! At least he's doing his absolute best to survive that place… even if it's with poop…"

"No way he's getting out of there anyway. Look, he's gonna get caught any second now! See? He's cornered, isn't he?"

"Urk… You jerk, please make it out… At least don't get killed!"

"Heh heh, judging by his MP usage… Alright, even if he tricks that guy into running off, there's no way he'll make it in time! It's over! Back to chains and handcuffs for you, poop-user!"

"Urk… There has to be a way out! I believe in you, Xxx!"

…

…

And his lips slowly inched closer, closer to my face… I'm about to be punished by my lord…

"Ah, ahh…"

"Heh heh…"

[True Body]

Snap out of it! Use this!

[True Body]

"Ugh! [Item Box]!"

"Huh? What's that [Item Box]?"

As I snapped back to my senses, I grabbed something from my [Item Box]—wham! Splat!!—and smashed it right into the mouth and face of the ridiculously handsome noble in front of me!

That thing—black, slimy, with a stench so foul—smeared all over his face.

"Urgh… You little brat! Gag Vomit!!!"

"…Whoa, that smell… Blech!!!!"

Holy crap, a stench this bad broke me right out of the hypnosis!

Yup, you got it! In that split second when my body was about to be kissed, I ordered this body's senses to grab the "3-Year-Old Rotten Sandwich" from the [Item Box] (wrapped in a cloth to keep the smell off my hands) and attack him full force!

If you're wondering where I got a rotten sandwich… Well, like I said before, that dimension! It's like time's frozen, but you can fast-forward it too! I'm still kinda confused about how it works, but it paid off. That sweaty, crumpled sandwich from Triss 7's journey, aged 3 years in that dimension!!! Then, using [Possession], I stuffed it into the [Item Box] in a split second.

"Argh, my eyes! My eyes!! Gag Vomit!!!"

The sandwich, so rotten it's practically toxic in taste and smell, got into his mouth, nose, and eyes! Talk about brutal! He's gotta be stinging, in pain, and suffering like crazy!

"Urk!"

Forget him—I'm about to puke too! This smell's ten times worse than toilet crap! Guess I fermented it too well. Taking this chance, I bolted to hide behind the door's blind spot, like something straight out of a spy comedy flick.

Bang!!!

The door swung open, and, as expected, the big brother and big sister guarding the room rushed in.

And just like in a cheesy spy comedy, when the enemies barge in, they never check behind the door first! Perfect!

"My lord!! Urk…"

"My lord, sir!! Gag What's this insane stench!?"

"That brat! Argh, my eyes! My face! Arghhh!!"

"Damn it! Where's that kid!!! Find him, quick! See? I told you that brat's trouble!"

"Yeah, got it! …Damn it, don't let me catch you!"

"Vomit!!! Gag!!!"

"My lord, stay calm!!! We'll get you to the bathroom!!"

In that split second, I upgraded [Possession] to LV.2 and slipped into the shadow of the big brother guard as he frantically ran out of the room.

We reached the massive hall, packed with people. It's a bar-slash-casino, after all. He went straight to a corner and started talking to five or six guards.

"Pant, pant Did you see that kid who escaped earlier? That little pest took down the noble and got away! Find him, now!!"

"What!? How'd you guys let that happen!?"

"You expect me to watch some rich guy mess with a kid's butt!?"

"Watch your mouth!"

"Yeah, yeah."

Damn it! This skill burns 1 MP every 6 seconds!? At this rate, I don't have much time left! Only 5 MP remaining!!! Damn it, will I make it!? Gotta take a risk now! With all these people around, this is my shot!

"That kid ran off that way! Hurry, go after him!"

Using my kid voice, I squeaked out the girliest shout I could muster, making sure the guy whose shadow I'm hiding in heard it.

"Huh!? Hey!!! How'd you let him get out!?"

Hearing that, he bolted forward without hesitation, just as I predicted… But…

Xxx: MP 3/15 …

Damn it! From last night's memories, at this guy's sprinting speed, it'll take 30-40 seconds to get from here to the exit.

Xxx: MP 2/15

Damn it!! I'm not gonna make it!!! Or do I have to use that power to help… No way, those goddesses are definitely still watching me!

…

In the Heavens

"It's over!!! That guy's getting out for sure! I'm certain!!"

"Noooo!!!!"

…

"Pant, pant That damn kid runs fast as hell!!!"

Xxx: MP 1/15

Damn it, he's still not at the door!? I'm not gonna make it!!! If my MP runs out, I'm done for!!! …Do I have to use my real power…? But that'd be way too obvious… Damn it…

…

Wait!! That's it!!!!! I can use that instead!!!!

End of Chapter 13

3-Year-Old Rotten Sandwich