A Gentleman's First Visit to the Nobi Household

He was a confidant of the Sun King of the Mayan Empire.

He once served the venerable sage who ushered in the dawn of Japan's founding.

He was the savior of the dinosaurs during the Cretaceous period.

He stood as the Silver Swordsman of fairy-tale legend.

He was the mortal incarnation of the Monkey King, Sun Wukong.

He was the dauntless hero who razed Demon Rock Castle to the ground.

He reigned as the sovereign of the celestial realms.

He was the sole human ever contacted by the cosmic Seeders.

He has traversed the stars and seas, leapt through time and space.

He bore witness to the birth and ruin of countless civilizations...

He saved the past, he saved the future.

He saved Earth, he saved alien worlds.

He saved reality, he saved fantasy...

Saving the world was but a hobby to him.

He was the legendary hero of countless enigmatic civilizations steeped in mystery.

He could summon mythical beings with a mere thought.

He lived for years amidst the songs that would slay cosmic monsters.

He was the supreme creator deity, worshipped by multiple nations and advanced cultures.

He and his five-man squad once vanquished sinister conglomerates, demonic overlords, fantastical bosses, celestial empires, nuclear-powered undersea civilizations, time-traveling ancients—and even mythic dark gods feared by cosmic civilizations.

This paragon of overpowered protagonists—the ultimate among the ultimate—bore a name that echoed through all dimensions:

Nobita Nobi!

Tremble before the might of this supreme and invincible existence, O mortals!

At Nobita's arrival, all gods and demons across the heavens and the earth bow low… then bow again… then prostrate themselves thrice… Ceremony complete… Make way… His Majesty Nobita now departs…

…

"Ahahahaha! I can't believe that's how you describe me over there!"

In a cluttered, narrow Japanese-style bedroom—overflowing with comic books, toys, and snack wrappers—sat a boy of unremarkable appearance, clad in a yellow T-shirt and blue shorts. Adjusting his round glasses and scratching his head, he beamed with laughter. "Though now that I think back, I have had my share of wild adventures. Still, hearing it all laid out like that—it's kind of embarrassing!"

"Yes, yes, exactly!"

A plump, blue, cat-shaped robot sat cross-legged beside him, arms folded, casting a sidelong glance at the boy. "Keep flattering him like that and he'll get all puffed up again—scoring zeros on exams, skipping homework, and sneaking off with my gadgets from the future!"

—Ahem… wasn't that basically Nobita's daily routine anyway?

Wang Qiu rolled his eyes inwardly, but outwardly, he maintained a polite expression. Following the formal etiquette he'd picked up from anime, he produced two packages from his storage space and placed them neatly on the tatami mat.

"A pleasure to make your acquaintance. I bring these humble gifts as a small token of respect."

Caught off guard by Nobita's sudden tug through the dimensional pouch, Wang Qiu had no time to prepare a proper gift for this unexpected visit. He could only offer two packets of U.S. military MREs—tonkatsu flavor—redeemed from the mainframe's exchange. Each set included a rich array of items—entrée, sides, dessert—and could be heated with a flameless heater. Though a bit too greasy for Eastern palates, they were quite presentable for a novelty tasting. After all, a first-time gift is just meant to show thoughtfulness; too lavish, and it becomes inappropriate. Japanese homemakers often bring homemade cookies for such occasions.

Sure enough, like many Japanese who idolize the West, Nobita was thrilled the moment he saw the American flag on the packaging. He chirped excitedly about bringing them to school tomorrow in place of his usual bento. Doraemon, though slightly grumpy about the dessert being caramel pudding instead of dorayaki, accepted them with decent grace.

"Ever since we parted in the mainframe yesterday, I hadn't seen you come through the dimensional pouch again," he said. "I was genuinely worried something had happened to you. Seeing you safe now, I'm relieved."

—Huh? Really? Then why do I feel like you've just been napping and snacking this whole time, not giving a second thought to my fate?

Wang Qiu grumbled inwardly but tactfully shifted the topic.

"By the way, where are Haruhi Suzumiya, Yuki Nagato, and Shin-chan? I haven't seen them around."

"Oh, them? They've long since gone home!" Doraemon replied with casual indifference.

"Gone home?" Wang Qiu's voice involuntarily leapt an octave higher.

These three groups may all be from Japan, but they belonged to completely separate anime universes! So how did Haruhi and Shin-chan manage to return home? Did they use some kind of parallel-universe-jumping gadget again?

"Of course they had to go home," Doraemon replied, as though it were the most obvious thing in the world. "They still have school and kindergarten today. What, you want them to skip class?"

He gave Wang Qiu a quizzical look, clearly perplexed by the question.

"Those two high school girls were no big deal, but Shin-chan's family was in a total panic! Thankfully, I've got the Anywhere Door—zip, and I'm in Hyōgo or Saitama in an instant."

—Hearing that, Wang Qiu instantly broke into a cold sweat. Then warm sweat. Then a waterfall of sweat.

Because Haruhi Suzumiya—who could destroy the world over a breakup—Crayon Shin-chan—who battles idiotic evil organizations every other day—and Doraemon—who might drop a multi-gigaton Earth-shattering bomb just because of a mouse...

These three beings of ridiculous destructive potential were all hanging out in the same universe?

How on earth had Planet Earth not been utterly annihilated by now?

Yet, what shocked Wang Qiu even more was the dawning realization that, in this absurd world—where gods and monsters frolicked with impunity—those three weren't even the most dangerous entities around…