Reasonableness Is but a Fleeting Cloud

In the room of Nobita Nobi—this legendary place that had once nurtured dinosaurs and hosted aliens—after a cheerful conversation with Doraemon and Nobita, Wang Qiu once again met Nobita's mother, Tamako Nobi, and his father, Nobisuke Nobi.

At first glance, Nobita's mother struck him as a hot-tempered housewife, constantly frustrated by her son's lack of progress, with a faint touch of vanity that made her seem more Korean than Japanese. His father, by contrast, was an unremarkable, slightly plump salaryman who seemed to live in mortal dread of his wife—except when he was drunk.

Flaws notwithstanding, the Nobis proved to be warm-hearted and easygoing people. After Wang Qiu courteously gifted Mr. Nobi a U.S. military-issued multipurpose knife and offered Mrs. Nobi a can of coffee powder emblazoned with the Stars and Stripes, the couple grew even more welcoming and graciously invited him to stay for dinner.

It was then that Wang Qiu was utterly stunned by the sight of the dinner table—covered from end to end with an astonishing number of tiny dishes and bowls.

—Unlike us Chinese, who serve each dish in a single bowl for all to share and drink soup from a large communal pot, the Japanese portion out individual servings into separate plates. As anyone who has watched Japanese dramas or anime knows, even at home, each person's food must be divided into exact portions—one set per person.

There was no helping it. The Japanese simply adored using an array of miniature plates, bowls, and saucers to hold side dishes, snacks, and even condiments. For example, Mrs. Nobi had prepared a modest but traditional home-cooked meal—a typical "one soup, three dishes" affair. Since the family comprised four people, and Wang Qiu was the fifth guest, no fewer than twenty dishes and soup bowls were needed. Adding in individual rice bowls and extra plates for sauces and pickles, the total number of vessels likely exceeded thirty.

Gazing upon the sea of miniature bowls and plates, Wang Qiu couldn't help but sympathize with Mrs. Nobi—she would have a daunting task cleaning them all after dinner.

The abundance of dishware stood in stark contrast to the paltry portions they held—hardly enough to feed a mouse. Each person received a single, finger-length grilled fish, three or four inches long at best—the kind used to feed cats in China. Then came a tiny salad bowl, barely the size of a teacup, holding two slices of tomato, a tuft of lettuce, and half a spoon of dressing—scarcely a bite. The simmered taro was equally meager, followed by a small bowl of seaweed and tofu miso soup.

—At last, Wang Qiu understood how Doraemon could gorge on dorayaki all day and still eat dinner. He also grasped why Japanese schools provided nutritious lunches—how could such scant meals possibly satisfy the growing appetites of adolescents?

When Wang Qiu returned home later that evening, he promptly visited the nearby Lanzhou noodle shop and devoured a bowl of beef ramen—just enough to stave off hunger and prevent waking in the night.

…

After growing close with Doraemon and his friends, Wang Qiu—never one to feel shy—followed the pull of childhood dreams and continued visiting, undeterred by how unseemly it might appear for a university student to fraternize with grade-schoolers. It wasn't long before he began to notice the many absurdities of this world.

The first day was uneventful—he simply listened to Nobita regale him with grand tales of past adventures. Doraemon then pulled out an automated medical kit, healed Wang Qiu's old dog-bite scar, and injected him with a strange serum that left his skin smooth and flawless. The effect was even more miraculous than the full-body regeneration in The Ultimate Horror. No wonder Nobita had survived so many brutal battles unscathed—his limbs intact, his health unwavering.

In truth, the Doraemon saga might well be regarded as a kind of "infinite genre" novel, with Doraemon himself playing the part of a benevolent system administrator or guiding deity. Unlike the ruthless overseer of The Ultimate Horror, Doraemon's goal was to transform the hopeless Nobita into a useful member of society… though by all appearances, he hadn't had much success.

On the second day, Wang Qiu arrived early, before Nobita returned from school. Accompanied by Doraemon, he wandered the surrounding neighborhood. The area—Tsukimidai, Nerima Ward—was filled with quintessential Japanese homes: two- or three-story buildings with low fences and concrete yards, often with a few idle concrete pipes stacked out back. The Tokyo Tower loomed in the distance, making it easy to imagine kaiju stomping through the district. But the real shock came when Wang Qiu stumbled across a quiet residential lane—there, standing inconspicuously, was the Mori Detective Agency. Outside, a spectacled, mild-looking boy was kicking a soccer ball…

Alarmed by the implications, Wang Qiu turned on his heel and walked away without a word.

(Reference: Detective Conan—the setting of Edogawa Conan, the child sleuth of death.)

On the third day, in a quiet alley not far from the Nobi residence, Wang Qiu encountered a strange white creature—part cat, part rabbit, with a fox-like tail so large it could wrap around its entire body. It sat by a telephone pole, nibbling a biscuit with one paw, its tiny mouth shaped like an adorable "ω," and its ruby-red eyes gleaming with intelligence. Its round face wore a perpetual smile, and its tail swayed lazily behind it…

Despite its cuteness, Wang Qiu broke into a cold sweat, for he had a chilling suspicion of its identity. Before it could utter the dreaded words, "Make a contract with me and become a magical girl," he turned and fled in terror.

—Wang Qiu, comrade, there was no need for such alarm. Even if it was Kyubey, that creature only preyed on cute, innocent girls. What would it want with a rugged man like you? You're no anime-style bishōnen trap!

(Reference: Puella Magi Madoka Magica—Kyubey, the deceptive being who tricks girls into doomed contracts.)

On the fourth day, seeking answers from the mysterious "Main God Sphere" in his possession, Wang Qiu contacted Yuki Nagato and arranged to meet her at a nearby café. On the way there with Doraemon, he passed a disheveled schoolteacher in traditional kimono and clogs, his hair a wild mess, a rope looped around his neck, crying out, "I'm in despair! I'm utterly in despair at this world!" as he trudged out of the school gate, lecture notes in hand.

(Reference: Sayonara Zetsubou Sensei—the despairing teacher Nozomu Itoshiki.)

In the end, with no immediate answers found, Wang Qiu entrusted the deactivated Main God Sphere to Nagato for further study.

The fifth day was New Year's Day. (Don't ask why Nobita still wore shorts and short sleeves in winter—perhaps he was training his cold resistance.) Respecting local customs, Wang Qiu joined the Nobi family for a shrine visit, only to find their destination was none other than the Higurashi Shrine. The shrine maiden was named Kagome Higurashi. In the back stood a sacred tree and a certain Bone-Eater's Well…

(Reference: Inuyasha—the starting location of the time-traveling heroine Kagome.)

By the sixth day, after seeing so many bizarre and illogical phenomena, Wang Qiu had undergone a full emotional cycle—from astonishment to numbness to calm acceptance. Tokyo in this dimension was clearly too dangerous. He decided it was time to go elsewhere.

He was torn: should he visit Shin-chan in Saitama—nearby and convenient, though he'd have little to say to a crude little boy? Or should he call on Haruhi Suzumiya in Hyōgo Prefecture—far to the west, but at least she was a lively and charming girl? Though Doraemon could lend him the Anywhere Door, there was no guarantee Nobita wouldn't borrow it in the meantime, leaving Wang Qiu stranded. Perhaps it was better to take the train.

Just then, a call came from Nagato Yuki:

"…Wang Qiu-san, you're with Doraemon now, aren't you? I'm currently at Shin-chan's house in Kasukabe, Saitama. An anomalous situation has occurred."

Her voice, as always, was like the surface of a frozen lake—utterly flat and emotionless.

"…While Miss Suzumiya and I were visiting, the previously dormant 'Main God' sphere suddenly reactivated. It announced that in six hours, everyone in Shin-chan's house would be transported into the Alien movie scenario. Miss Suzumiya is now joyfully calling to gather Kyon, Miss Asahina, and Koizumi. Shin-chan's family and friends are also prepared. We await your arrival…"

—What? The Main God Space isn't dead? The Infinite Horror trials aren't over?

The devastating news made Wang Qiu's hands tremble. He nearly dropped the phone.

At that moment, Doraemon's eyes sparkled with excitement. Before the call even ended, he shouted:

"Oh! Something interesting at last! Wang Qiu-aniki, wait right here! I'll go gather Nobita, Gian, and Shizuka! Our Junior Adventure Squad mustn't miss this!"

Watching Doraemon dash out the door on his stumpy little legs, Wang Qiu could only sigh and rub his forehead.

—It seems the nightmare of the Main God Space is far from over…

Fortunately, he now had the support of the three most powerful adventure teams in history: Haruhi Suzumiya's SOS Brigade… Shin-chan's Kasukabe Defense Force… and Doraemon's Junior Adventure Squad…

Tsk. With a dream team like this, even God, Allah, and Buddha might have to yield. Facing off against a mere xenomorph? That would be child's play.