Lower the guards

At that moment, Felix was cursing his accident, he was cursing this road that had taken his sight because if it was just his legs, he was going to have no problem with that but right now with this woman in his bed , he wanted to see what she looked like. he had lost his appetite at the table because his friend had not stopped liking his wife and yet he himself could not see her. It was as if he were being subjected to the harshest test of life. he could have asked her to let him look at her his way and even though she wouldn't have said no, he didn't want to do it that way. There she was, lying in his bed and yet he couldn't admire her. he was in so much pain that he felt like killing himself but Carmen didn't deserve to be a widow even if she didn't deserve a man like him who was incapable of giving her what she deserved.

knowing that she was asleep, he had an opportunity to get a little closer to her, which he hadn't had the chance to do. He took Hugo's words into account and he hoped that the latter had not lied to him.

Tired of his indecisive state, he decided to go to bed. she would be near himself if touching her were impossible. He could have changed as usual and taken off his glasses but he didn't. she was curious and could wake up at any time to surprise him. he didn't want her to think worse than she already thought of him.

When he lay down, he looked in the direction he hoped she was facing. he knew she was there. when he decided to silence his desire to be closer and touch her, he told himself that it was time for him to sleep but he only felt her stir. He couldn't even determine his movements.

" No ! no don't hurt me. I will obey… no!”

but he wasn't going to hurt him because he hadn't even touched him. As her agitation persisted, he realized that she was having a nightmare and certainly, she was threatened by it. he didn't know what he could do to help her and he was still thinking about it when she found herself clinging to him. he could still roll and fall to the ground but she clung to him and if he wanted to fall to the ground, he was going to drag her down with him, which was a long way offto be the solution.like the first night at his house when she had a nightmare, he put his hand on her head and directly; the latter clung a little closer to him, thus finding herself in his footsteps. he didn't want to take advantage of the situation but naturally, he brought his hand down to his face and started toexplore it.he had covered her entire face but without ever touching her lips. She was beautiful, a little chubbier than the girls he was used to meeting but that didn't take away from her charm. He didn't know what his body was like but he realized that Hugo was right. she was a very beautiful woman and he felt his chest tighten as he realized that, if he had been given the choice, he would never have been her last choice even in another life. all women dreamed of men capable of offering them luxury, he was poor and lived thanks to his friend.

“I know that even being with me you dream of Prince Charming and believe me, I don’t blame you for that because you have the right to hope for a life of happiness, Carmen. I too believe that I have someone in my heart but you are already starting to impose yourself too much in my mind and I would like to stop myself from becoming dependent on you and it's difficult. you should never have come into my life, you never should have because I won't let you go again. Whether you suffer or whether you are happy, you will stay with me, for better or for worse, Carmen Alvarez.”

He kissed her sweat-covered temple to seal this promise. At no time had she been unpleasant to him, at no time had she shown any disgust and just for that, he realized that for three years, she was certainly the miracle he had been waiting for. It wasn't love but at least she understood it.

" Mom ! Mom, please come back,” she yelled.he thought he was the only one with demons but he realized that he wasn't. she was also in great pain and it was people who haunted her. he never wanted to know anything about his family and he didn't know why she wanted his mom back.

“Fe…Felix?” she asked in her still panicked little voice.

He realized that she had woken up. He was no longer breathing because their position was awkward. She was the one who ended up in his arms but he didn't think she would really see things like that.

“you…did I hurt you?”

She wanted to withdraw from his arms but he held her against him without saying a word. She regained her breathing slowly and fell into sleep again. He was saved this time because she didn't take it badly when he tried to calm her down.

he now had an interest in her when it came to her demons but he couldn't ask her that directly for fear she would think they were already on the verge of taking things to the next level. he planned to ask Hugo this later, obviously knowing that he was going to tell him everything since it concerned his wife and he wanted things to

go better between them.