Chapter 1 - Change

[2023]

CHANGE

No one was ever ready for your arrival.

Unable to know what you might bring.

Are you a friend?

Nobody knows.

But this small ARAPAAP of mine.

Please don't torment.

Because this heart was already broken from the past.

***

"What are you doing here?" That was how my mother greeted me, looking displeased to see her own child. Even though she hadn't seen me for almost ten years, as she glanced one by one at the four suitcases I brought.

"I quit. I won't be going back to Manila anymore, I'll just stay here in the province with you ma."

'A lie... the truth is, they let me go because I was considered worthless to them.'

"Stop joking around Elena. What's gotten into your head now?"

'What can I do? Waking up and repeatedly proving my worth to that company. I just can't bear the idea of going back to that routine. Is that reason enough?'

"It would be better if you had savings at least."

"I do have--"

"You do? How much? A million?"

"About a hundred thousand..." I answered quietly while avoiding her gaze. "But once I sell my car--"

"D*mn it Elena. Come home when you have a million in the bank. Do you think that hundred thousand can support you until you're old? Are you ready with the idea of dying poor?"

"I'll just help you with the store Ma. If you want, I can invest in your business. That's right, a passive income. We could even open a cafe next door if you'd like."

She looked at me in disbelief and slammed the plate down in front of me.

"Stop this nonsense, I don't need your money Elena. If only you had gotten married and started a family, you wouldn't be this miserable now. You never listened to me that’s why."

'If I had gotten married and had a family? Would anything have changed?'

"Tell me that this is just temporary Elena. Go back to Manila and look for work or return to your old job. I don't care what you do as long as you leave here and fix your life--"

*

"Miss Ocampo!" A loud slap echoed through the office, and not just I but almost everyone stopped what they were doing to look at our boss who was scolding one of our fellow employees.

"If it weren't for you, the investor wouldn't have backed out! What did you do to make them back out, Ocampo?"

"I'm sorry ma'am..."

"I gave that task to Estacio but she convinced me to give it to you because of your d*mn mother." Yannie gradually turned her gaze to me, which I quickly avoided.

Initially, I was given the task of talking to the investors, but she begged me to take this task because she needed it to get promoted and become permanent in the company. If I had known she would fail, I wouldn't have asked our manager to give her the job.

"This isn't the first time you've failed Ocampo, one more time and I won't think twice about firing you."

*

"How shameless you are, Yannie. If I had known this would happen, I shouldn't have given you the investors. It looks like because of you, I won't be promoted to manager now."

"I'm sorry, Ma'am Elena," she said while kneeling on the ground, crying.

"I just really needed to," she continued while gradually avoiding my eyes. "I just really needed to do it because of my mother's condition."

"Do what? Do what exactly? What did you do, Yannie?" I asked with furrowed brows as I forcefully made her stand up.

"I mentioned the other corporation's offer to them. I convinced them that the other company's offer was better."

"What the heck? I knew you were stupid, Yannie, but I didn't know you could be even more stupid."

"I swear Ma'am Elena, I wouldn't have done this if it weren't for my mother's operation. The other company offered me more than my current salary, so I accepted it."

"And what about me? Why should I pay for your stupidity? My credibility was ruined because of you Yannie!"

"Ma'am Elena please help me, I have a family to support, and my mother, her condition is serious right now. I can't handle being fired from here. Please ma'am, please talk to the boss."

"No," I said firmly as I gently pushed her away from me. "That's your problem. Fix your own problems, don't drag other people, Yannie."

*

"Our new manager, Mister Tiangco." One by one, our office colleagues greeted him except for me, who was intently staring at the neighboring desk now covered with flowers and letters from employees who had worked with its former owner.

'Because of me, she took her own life...'

"Ma'am Estacio?" our boss called, causing me to lose my focus. "Are you okay?"

"I'm..." I began, taking a deep breath and nodding at her. "I'm okay, ma'am."

"Can I talk to you privately?" she asked, to which I nodded again.

*

"I know you've given many years of service to my company."

'Wait, what is she trying to do?'

"I'm sorry Elena but we have to let you go. I told you, didn't I? We need fresh ideas, and in order to do that, we need to recruit..."

It was as if my ears gradually stopped working and I couldn't hear what she said next.

'I already expected this to happen, but it's different when you're actually in the situation. When everyone turns their back on you because they can no longer gain anything from you.'

*

"Elena!"

I was anxiously walking through the market to buy ingredients for lunch when suddenly a woman carrying a child in her left hand and a tote bag in her right called out to me.

"Hey Elena," she said, causing me to slowly look at her and recognize her face.

"Zahara?"

"Yup, it’s me, Zahara," she said as she adjusted her grip on the child she was carrying.

'It looks like what they say is true, once you become a mother, your time is split and you barely have any left for yourself. Just like Zahara who clearly looks haggard and seems to not even have time to brush her hair.'

"Wow, I thought you'd never set foot in this town again. When did you arrive and how long is your vacation here?"

"Probably just a month."

'A lie that will surely save me from embarrassment.'

"A month, that's quite a while. By the way, this is Baby Julius, my second child," she said while smiling when she noticed me staring at the child she was holding.

"Look at you, you always used to say you didn't want children but now you have two." I smiled at her, which she responded to with a nod.

"That's how it is, no one can tell or expect what will happen in the future. Like you, you said you'd never return here but here you are now," she replied, causing me to pause and quickly look away.

*

"Get out of here, you monster! You're the cause of everything Elena, everything got messed up because of you, because of your d*mn ambition!"

"Don't worry Zahara, I will never come back here. You'll never see me again."

*

"It's amazing, you're well-off and super successful now. You're so lucky you know, you achieved all your dreams..."

'Successful? What made her call me that? Is it because of what I'm wearing and the expensive bag I'm carrying? Or because of the details I put on my social media profile?'

"...even though you didn't finish college, you have a job and a car."

"By the way, it's perfect timing that you're home. Do you still remember Ina, our classmate from high school?"

I nodded even though I couldn't remember who she was talking about.

'Is she acting like nothing happened between us in the past? Suddenly, we're friends again? Did she get amnesia without me knowing? Or is she just insulting me?'

"She's organizing a reunion on the thirty-first. Can you make it or will you be in Manila by then?"

"I'll come, just send me the details on messenger." A response that I now truly regret.

'I could have said no but because of this d*mn mouth, looks like I'll be forced to go to that reunion.'

***

From the entrance of the resort, I could already hear the extremely loud music inside the venue. There were parked cars scattered around and faces that were no longer familiar to me. Wearing the only branded dress and sandals I kept from all the clothes I sold online, I walked into the resort with a sigh.

"Elena?" But I stopped and frowned as I turned to look at a man wearing a blue polo shirt.

He looked neat and from his aura, he seemed like an employee from a corporate company.

"Fern," he said.

"Fernando Boado Jr."

I immediately stopped and studied his face.

*

"Fern... sorry."

"Sorry? You're really something, aren't you? After ruining our lives, do you think a simple sorry from you will fix everything?"

*

I slowly smiled as I recognized him.

"It's good to see you here. You must have been so busy in twenty-thirteen that you didn't even read my messages on Facebook."

"I'm not really active on social media."

"It shows, you don't even have a profile picture," he said while handing me a glass of cocktail juice.

'Even him. He's also acting like nothing happened.'

"Elena!" exclaimed Zahara as she ran to our table.

'This is really getting weird. Why are they acting like nothing happened twenty years ago?'

"Good thing you came, I thought you wouldn't show up like that Kenley," she said as she took Fern's glass and drank his juice.

"Kenley? I thought she was in America?" Fern asked repeatedly.

"I saw her posts on Instagram, she's been here in the Philippines since last month but she's just snubbing my comments and messages. Just because she's well-off now, she's become a snob?" she replied sarcastically.

'Maybe like me, she's trying to bury everything that connects her to the past. I don't even know why I'm here now. I've managed to hide for almost twenty years but just because of that d*mn 'yes' I gave Zahara at the market, everything might fall apart.'

"Probably not, maybe she just didn't see your messages or like Elena here, she's not active on social media."

"Not active? She posts Instagram stories almost every day Fern."

"You really haven't changed kambal, you're still so negative--"

Their conversation was cut short when our batchmates suddenly got noisy. This caused us to all look toward the door.

"Is that Kenley?" Zahara asked with widening eyes as she recognized the woman wearing a red dress while carrying an expensive bag in her left hand.

"Looks like she did read your messages after all," Fern said with a smile as he stood up from his chair and ran to meet Kenley.

"If you remember, this is Zahara, my sister." And of all the places in this venue, Fern just had to bring Kenley right here in front of us.

"How can I even forget, the supreme student government president of our batch, your twin sister," Kenley replied as she slowly turned her gaze to me, which I immediately avoided.

"Ah, Elena," said Fern. "She's the--"

"Of course, Elena, who could forget you," she said with a sarcastic smile.

*

"How dare you!" Kenley's slap echoed throughout the classroom, immediately drawing the attention of our classmates.

"What right do you have to meddle in other people's lives?" she shouted next, but I neither looked at her nor responded, instead quickly packing up my things.

"There, go ahead, run! Turn your back on everything, you coward!"

*

"Excuse me, someone's calling, I need to answer this," I said goodbye to them and quickly left the resort.

'Of course, there's no call. Just another lie that will save me from their eyes because I know in their minds, they're already cursing me.'

"D*mn it, I shouldn't have come here."

'I should have just stayed home. Or better yet, I should have avoided Zahara at that d*mn market.'

"Excuse me." I froze while opening the car and turned around.

"Are you Elena? Elena Estacio?" I immediately stopped when I recognized him. I turned my gaze back to the car and shook my head.

"I'm not Elena."

"Come on, even after twenty years, I know it's you..." I felt his grip on my wrist, causing my eyes to widen in shock.

"Elena."

"Let go of me, Raul!"

When I tried to open the car, I stopped when I remembered that the keys were at the bottom of my bag.

"Oh please Elena, that was twenty years ago. The heck, haven't you forgiven me yet?"

"Stay away from me, you monster," I burst out and quickly ran away from him. I was so thankful that the lights were dim here in the parking lot, allowing me to quickly disappear from his sight.

In my rush to hide, I couldn't see if I was bumping into anything or where I was going...

"I'm sorry," I said as I helped the man I accidentally bumped into.

"Sorry," I said again as I helped him stand, but when I noticed the scattered sunglasses and cane on the ground, I quickly waved my hand in front of him to confirm my suspicion.

When I saw he had no response, I quickly picked up his sunglasses and cane. "I'm really sorry--"

"No, it's okay miss, it's my fault for standing in the way," he said as he put on his sunglasses and was about to leave, but I held his wrist to stop him.

"Please, I have a favor to ask. If a man asks if you've seen a woman hiding, please don't tell him," I said, causing him to furrow his brow but eventually nod.

"Don't worry, your secret is safe," he said, making me smile and feel relieved. I hid again behind the nearby car and carefully peeked to see if that crazy Raul had followed me.

"Excuse me, have you seen a woman--"

"Do you think I saw anyone?" I quickly covered my mouth to hold back my laughter at the response from the man I bumped into when Raul asked him, and he answered sarcastically while pointing to his sunglasses and raising his cane.

"I'm sorry," Raul replied, about to continue searching, but I was surprised when he suddenly tripped on the ground when he tripped over the man's cane.

"Oh my, are you okay? Did something happen?" the man asked repeatedly while swinging his cane to try to find Raul, but he accidentally kept hitting him, causing Raul to yell in pain and quickly dodge the swings.

And there I was, holding my mouth to keep from laughing.

"I thought you'd be home late? Did the reunion end so quickly?" Mom greeted, but I ignored her and quickly went upstairs to my room.

In frustration, I threw my handbag on the bed and then buried my face in the pillow.

"How annoying! What were you thinking, Elena?" I kept saying while hiding in my pillow.

Later, when I came to my senses, I got up from lying down but stopped when I saw an old baul(jar) beside my mirror.

'What's that? Is mom planning to plant something? And in my room of all places? She knows I don't like those plants, they just attract mosquitoes and insects.'

I just let out a deep sigh before standing up and heading to the bathroom to shower.

After showering and everything, I immediately lie down in bed and stared at the ceiling until I felt sleepy.

***

Everything has changed.

Almost all of them have moved on from the past.

Am I the only one who can't forget the past?

If only I could go back.

If only I could.

***

**EPILOGUE**

"Good morning MGA KAPITBAHAY! It's Friday, March 31st, 2002-seven o'clock to be exact! And we're broadcasting live! Rise and shine MGA KAPITBAHAY! Let's kick off your day with an amazing song that will wake you up - here's The Calling with their wonderful hit 'Wherever You Will Go'!"

"Elena?"

"Taho!"

"Fernando, get up now!"

"Taho!"

"Elena!"

"How much for the taho manong?"

"Elena Estacio!"

Startled by the banging on the door, I woke up suddenly when I heard loud knocking on the door.

As I was about to get up, I paused and frowned as I removed the earphone plugged into my ear, remembering that I hadn't worn any before going to sleep.

Besides, I use airpods, not--

"What the?"

'Why is this plugged into a radio? If I remember correctly, I threw this radio away back in high school.'

"Elena!" I quickly got up from the bed and opened the door. Because if I didn't, it might break from the knocking of whoever this crazy person was knocking at my room.

'Oh I hope, this crazy person I'm referring to isn't mama.'

"What is it, ma..."

"Good thing you're awake."

'Zahara?'

My eyes gradually widened when I realized that the Zahara in front of me wasn't the Zahara with a child whom I left at the resort last night. This Zahara was the younger version of Zahara. She was in uniform with her hair done up as if attending some event. Because she would never go to school wearing full makeup.

'Wait, am I dreaming?'

"Hey Elena, the recognition is at eight o'clock, aren't you planning to get up and get ready?"

Looking at the clock, it was already seven. And what caught my attention more was the arrangement of my room. It looked exactly like my room when I was a teenager and before I left the province for Manila.

"Hey Elena, I'm not joking, there's only one hour left, and you still need my mom to do your makeup. I'm the one getting nervous for you."

I quickly ran to the mirror beside me. And my eyes widened even more in shock when I saw that even my face was now my younger version. I slapped myself hard and immediately screamed from the pain.

"This isn't a dream."

"Elena!" Zahara exclaimed in surprise as she grabbed both my arms.

"What's the date today, Zahara?"

"March thirty-one two thousand and two. And our recognition is at eight Elena. Are you on drugs?"