Chapter 2 - Game
**PROLOGUE**
[2007]
"I'm sorry ma'am, I will make sure that next time--"
"Will you please shut up Miss Estacio? You're so new here yet you're already so outspoken. You won't get anywhere if you keep talking back to your superiors."
"But ma'am, I was just sharing my ideas, I don't have any intention of showing off," I replied, but to my shock, her palm struck my cheek.
"Well, keep your mouth shut because I don't need your ideas. Next time, you won't be the one presenting our plans to the board of directors. You're a disappointment, Estacio."
***
"This time, I will give you a chance, don't let me down," our manager said before I went to present our team's plan to the board of directors.
I let out a deep breath before starting the presentation.
"With the pres..." Due to my pounding heart, I couldn't help but tremble while presenting in front of the board of directors.
"With the presented table, we could conclude that..."
And because of my nervousness, I accidentally knocked over the coffee next to the laptop, causing it to shut down at the worst possible moment.
'What terrible luck.'
"Oh no, this is so embarrassing."
"I'm sorry, just give me a sec, I'll fix this," I said and hurriedly grabbed my other laptop, but my nervousness made me fumble with the setup, causing a delay of almost five minutes.
"What is this? Are you wasting our time?"
"I'm sorry, it's ready now."
"Manager Cruz, come here," the chairman called our manager, causing my eyes to widen as I rushed to continue the presentation.
"Like I said, with the presented..."
"I'm sorry Miss Cruz, couldn't you find anyone else to present your plans? I expected more than this Miss Cruz. Not this worthless presenter," the chairman said to our manager, making me bite my lower lip and quickly avoid their gazes.
***
"What the h*ck was that?" our manager burst out after using my cheek as a punching bag again.
"I'm sorry ma'am--"
"Even though you don't have a high school diploma, I let you into my company. I've hired you because you spoke well during the interview, but what happened? The one and only reason I hired you seems to be gone now, Estacio?"
I couldn't hold back anymore as tears started falling from my eyes. Though I wanted to defend myself, I couldn't even open my mouth.
"One more time Elena and you're fired."
[2002]
GAME
Tell me,
Is this a game?
Am I being played with?
***
"We have our third-year first honor, Elena Estacio of section 1 to give her speech. Give her a round of applause."
***
Or perhaps,
Is this a dream?
Because if it is,
I no longer wish to wake up.
Instead, I'd choose to stay in this Arapaap.
***
"Hey Elena, come up."
If Fern hadn't thrown candy at me, everyone would have been annoyed at how long it took me to get on stage. I gently held the mic and closed my eyes briefly due to nervousness. In the past twenty years, I had forgotten how to speak in front of many people. I didn't even remember that in my life's timeline, I was once first honor and gave a speech in front of this big crowd.
"Go Elena!" Once again, Fern's silliness saved me, now holding up a banner.
"Good morning everyone," I began, causing their attention to turn back to me. '
They are staring at me. What could they be saying?'
"First of all..." My heart was pounding so hard, I could barely hear my own voice.
*
"First of all, I thank God for giving me this award that I know I deserve. With all the sleepless nights I went through, don't you all think I deserve it?"
*
I gripped the mic tighter.
"First of all, I want to thank God for this opportunity. For this second chance He has given me. This time, I will make sure I won't be a failure in front of my mother. A thirty-eight-year-old Elena won't return home to her mother."
'That's right, I will be better this time. I will never allow everything to end up in nothing again. I won't let myself end up in that company again. Just like I dreamed before, I will graduate high school and college. I'll have a diploma I can be proud of to show people.'
*
"Secondly, I want to thank myself, because if I hadn't worked hard, hadn't endured those nights choosing to review instead of sleep, I wouldn't be here today. So for all of you, if you want to achieve your dreams, first and foremost, self-discipline is necessary. Don't be lazy and spend all your time on relationships, crushes, or basketball. We need to focus on our goals. Is that clear?"
*
"Secondly..." I was about to lower the mic because I couldn't handle the nervousness anymore. Because the only thing I wanted to do was run away from here, but I gradually stopped when I saw Lola (Grandmother) Amanda in the crowd.
*
"Apo (granddaughter), please talk to lola," she signed, but I kept my gaze on the window while no longer feeling the swelling of my eyes.
"You haven't eaten for days, even sleep, please don't neglect yourself apo."
*
'Right, in this year, my grandmother is still alive. Honestly, one thing I'm grateful for in returning to this year is her. I am happy to see her again.'
"I want to thank my grandmother. Because since childhood, she has been like a mother to me..."
*
"Elena, don't you want to visit the province? Your grandmother?"
"But I'm busy mom, we have a presentation to finish for next week."
"What if I tell you she's gone, would you still not visit her?"
I looked at her quickly and in shock dropped the glass I was holding.
"Elena, your grandmother is gone," mom continued as tears fell from her eyes.
*
"...and also, I want to ask for forgiveness, lola."
"Though I failed to see how important you were in my life before. Now I will ensure to give my all, take care of you lola, and repay all the times you put me before yourself."
Without realizing, tears were already falling from my eyes while I was signing everything I was saying for lola—because that was the only language she understood since losing her hearing from childhood. I quickly wiped my tears when I saw the confusion on people's faces.
"That's all, thank you," I said and then hurriedly leave the stage.
***
"That's all, thank you," said Fern, followed by a playful laugh.
'I managed to change my speech. And supposedly, what should be happening right now is that I'd be ignoring these two while busy reviewing for next school year. But instead of educational books, I'm holding one of Zahara's comics.'
"But seriously Elena, you seemed like a different person up there. You even looked nervous. Among all of us, you're the one with the biggest confidence," said Zahara as she put down the comic she was holding.
'She's right, I used to be the one who never ran out of confidence, but since I started working, I didn't notice that I was gradually losing it.'
"And above all, I never imagined you'd mention Lola Amanda in your speech. The Elena we know would thank herself before anyone else. Come on, admit it, did someone cast a spell on you?"
"What's gotten into you?" Fern exclaimed, pointing at me with the arnis stick he’d been practicing with, since he was starting intense training next week in another province. He was supposedly one of those competing in the National Games this June. "Or has some spirit possessed our friend? If so, get out of here, you imp!"
I rolled my eyes at him but froze when I caught sight of the picture frame near where Zahara was sitting.
'If I remember correctly, Fern was supposed to knock that picture frame off the table next to Zahara, and because of that, I would yell at him and kick him out of the room. This stuck with me because after that, they never hung out in my room again.'
"Now that's more like it," said Zahara. "That's the Elena we know."
I quickly put down the comic and looked directly at the picture frame.
"Pugay (Attention)!" Fern exclaimed as he took his position while holding the arnis stick.
He slowly bowed his head, and before what was supposed to happen could occur, I quickly pushed Zahara to catch the picture frame that was about to fall to the floor.
'I did it! I can prevent what's supposed to happen! Maybe that's why I'm here now. To redeem myself and to avoid falling into the same misfortunes that happened to me. I will make sure that this time, I'll achieve my dreams.'
"It's fine being a snob but now you're getting physical?" Zahara asked in confusion, but I couldn't help smiling while holding the picture frame I'd saved from its dark fate.
And instead of Zahara yelling at me in annoyance, she just looked at me with furrowed brows, just like Fern. "You're really weird today Elena, earlier you said you time traveled from twenty-twenty three and now you're acting completely out of character. You know what, it's from reading too many comics..."
"Zahara, Fern, and Elena, come down here! Help Lola Amanda with the bilo (a filipino snack that composed of glutinous rice balls )!" Zahara's mom called from downstairs, which I used as an opportunity to divert their attention from me.
I quickly returned the picture frame to the table and got up from the floor, which they followed.
***
"Hey, you three, don't tell me you're going to hang out in Elena's room for two months. That won't do, you're graduating next school year, you should be reviewing already," lectured Zahara's mom, Tita Zenaida. I stopped making bilo and stared at her for a long time.
*
"Elena, I can't do this!" Zahara burst out, unable to stop crying.
I gently patted her back while hugging her.
'I don't know how to comfort someone but surely a hug might help somehow. Because I remember lola saying that when you hug someone, it's like saying you're there for them.'
When Zahara calmed down, I immediately looked for Fern who hadn't shown tears for almost a week, instead always hiding them behind his laughter.
"Fern."
He quickly wiped his tears and turned away briefly before facing me with a smile that was trying to mask his true feelings.
"You don't have to hide it from me, Fern. If you're sad, just cry it out. Come on, it's not like we haven't been together since you were seven years old. I've seen you cry before, remember? Your nose wouldn't stop running..."
I was stunned when tears started falling from his eyes, followed by unstoppable crying, which made me approach and hug him.
*
I let out a slow sigh and turned my gaze to Fern and Zahara who, like me, were now helping Lola Amanda make bilo.
'Because of their mother's death, they struggled to finish college, but I heard Fern became successful in business even though he didn't graduate college.'
"No ma, we're just enjoying our vacation." Fern replied to Tita Zenaida while chewing on barbecue.
"Fine, I can accept that from you. But these two who are running for valedictorian and salutatorian, no. Especially Elena. So Zahara, stick with Elena, not with your twin who's always slacking off and only thinks about basketball."
'If only Tita Zenaida knew that Fern would become more successful than both Zahara and me.'
***
"Is this okay, lola?" I gestured to grandmother, who nodded in response when I showed her all the glutinous rice that we have turned to bilo.
"Finally!" Fern's face broke into a huge grin, and I nearly jumped up in surprise when she pressed her flour-covered hand against my face.
'Let's say I'm a thirty-eight-year-old who's come back to this year. Technically my mind is thirty-eight and I should be mature enough not to get back at this annoying young man. But not right now, we're going to embrace being sixteen.'
Without hesitation, I grabbed a bowl of flour and poured it over Fern's head.
"Now that's the Elena I know!" exclaimed Zahara, who joined in and slapped Fern with flour.
"Get back here, Fern!" I shouted and chased after him. When he tripped and fell sitting on the floor, I quickly pressed both my palms against his cheeks.
"Good heavens! What are you kids doing?" Aunt Zenaida exclaimed, and even grandmother's eyes widened when she saw our flour-covered faces.
***
"Go ahead dear, bring out the barbecue and soft drinks," grandmother gestured, so I nodded.
"Here are the soft drinks, Aunt Zenaida," I said to her as she was busy attending to the arriving guests.
Their house was just across from ours, and she and grandmother had decided to hold our celebration with Fern and Zahara at their house.
"Congratulations, dear," greeted people who seemed unfamiliar to me. Some even claimed they were my godmothers or that their grandmother was my grandmother's cousin.
"Elena dear, where are Fern and Zahara?"
"Fern was sent by Uncle Fernando to buy charcoal, I think. And Zahara, I haven't seen her at all."
"She's probably still in her room, please call her for me, dear," Aunt Zenaida instructed, which I acknowledged with a nod.
I had knocked several times on Zahara's door but kept getting the same response.
"Just a minute!"
"Come on, Zahara!" I exclaimed and knocked louder because I was getting tired of standing there for almost ten minutes.
"Coming," she said as she opened the door, and my eyes widened when I saw her face.
'Oh right, this was that day.'
Clothes were scattered all over her room and her face-- I couldn't even describe it.
"Does my face look okay? I know you'll say nothing's changed but try to be a little nice about it."
'Does she think her face looks okay? She's practically worn down that eyeliner.'
"Sorry, I can't. You've surpassed Barbie with how thick your makeup is, Zahara." She immediately scoffed and grabbed a wipe before heading to the bathroom.
"Alejandro and his friends are coming, you know Alejandro, right?"
'I might forget everything else from this year, but him, even until twenty-twenty three, I remember clearly.'
"He's the childhood best friend I told you about when Fern and I were still studying in Quezon," she continued as she emerged from the bathroom with slightly lighter makeup. "And it's no secret to you that Alejandro..."
She came closer to me and whispered the next part while her cheeks turned red with excitement. "is my first crush."
***
"Zahara! Fern!" Our attention was immediately drawn to a young man who was now running towards our table.
'It's been twenty years but I still can't forget what this man looks like.'
"Alejandro!" exclaimed Fern, who went ahead and hugged the newly arrived guest.
*
"Alejandro, what are you doing here? You shouldn't be here, they might see you. Alejandro please leave!"
"The police are coming. Don't worry Elena, we'll get you out of here."
*
"How are you all? Zahara..." He suddenly stopped when he saw me.
"This is Elena, she's a friend of mine and Zahara's," said Fern.
He smiled at me but I responded by looking away.
'It would be better if you didn't get to know me at all. Maybe this time, you won't have to experience the misfortune I bring. Maybe if I can prevent what's supposed to happen between us, you won't get involved anymore.'
*
"Elena, are you serious?"
I slowly nodded and looked him straight in the eyes. "I'm leaving next month, it's better if we end whatever this is between us while it's still early."
"Is that all Elena? Are you willing to just forget what happened between us?"
"Oh, come on, it's just a puppy love Alejandro, you'll find someone else. And besides, I only said yes to you to distract Zahara but it seems you weren't effective and she still won in the end."
"Wait? Are you saying you just used me for your ambition?"
*
"We're doing fine, how about you? Wow, you've changed so much. Would you believe you're taller than me now," said Zahara, whose smile was absolutely radiates in the entire room.
"Zahara, I'll just step out for a bit, lola asked me to get something from the house," I excused myself while avoiding eye contact with Alejandro.
'I need a way. A way to distance myself from him.'
From the original timeline, he and his family would vacation here for a week. And in that week, we would become close. Then, he would return here for school because his father, an engineer, would unexpectedly be transferred here to Pangasinan.
"Excuse me?"
I suddenly stopped and turned to look behind me where there was now a young man holding a cane.
"Aunt Zenaida invited me," he said, hesitating to continue what he was going to say.
'I've never seen him before. Is he from here? Or new to the area? But from what I remember, I never saw him back then.'
"Are you her daughter Zahara? I don't know where the entrance to your house is."
I held his wrist to guide him but stopped when he removed my hand.
"You don't need to hold my hand, just hold this cane instead." He smiled as he raised the cane.
I quickly nodded and held his cane to guide him into Zahara's house.
"Finally, I found you!" exclaimed Zahara who came running towards me. But she gradually stopped when she saw who was with me.
"Ooops," she said while giving me a mischievous look which made me widen my eyes at her. "Yieee, who's this with you Elena? In fairness, he's handsome."
"Whatever's in your mind Zahara, stop," I whispered to her while gently pinching her in the waist.
"He's your guest invited by Aunt Zenaida," I continued.
"Y-you're not Zahara? Oh sorry," he said.
"I'm Zahara, and you?" asked Zahara who now noticed the young man's cane.
"Caloy," he said as he extended his hand, which made me signal Zahara.
"Caloy?" Zahara asked puzzled when we returned to the table after escorting Caloy to Aunt Zenaida.
"Do you have any idea who he is, Fern? His name is Carlo Flores," she turned to her twin.
"Don't you remember? He's that blind kid from the haunted house back then. Mom said they just returned from America."
"Haunted house?" Zahara and I asked.
"The house we used to throw stones at when walking home from school?" I asked, which Fern nodded to.
"Someone lived there?" Zahara asked in shock.
"Yes."
"And why didn't you tell us?" I asked him, which he just laughed off.
"Well, then it wouldn't be exciting anymore, would it?"
I gave him a light slap on the arm but he still wouldn't stop laughing.
"You're really mean," said Zahara who hit him harder, causing Fern to dodge away.
***
Everything was over, all the guests had left except for Alejandro's family who, as I mentioned, would stay for one week and sleep here at Zahara's house.
"Why are you out here? Avoiding the cleaning, huh?"
'Yup, to avoid whatever might happen between us and...'
I stopped swinging on the tire swing when I saw who owned that voice.
'After all my efforts to avoid him earlier, I can't be caught now. No!’
"Elena, right? Fern always talked about you whenever they visited Quezon."
'So what? What about it? Please, just stay away from me!'
I quickly looked away when he suddenly sat on the swing next to me.
"It's my first time here in Pangasinan, what are the popular places to visit here?" he asked, making me close my eyes.
"Elena?"
"Elena!"
'That shout is familiar.'
'No! That incident can't happen again.'
*
The celebration was over and the guests had left except for Aunt Zenaida's visitors.
For some unknown reason, I couldn't help but look at Alejandro, Fern's childhood friend.
He and Fern were talking now while removing the decorations Aunt had stuck to the wall. Zahara was right, there was something different about this young man. I saw him earlier calming down a child. For some unknown reason, I smiled when I saw how calm he remained even when the child almost punched him.
I don't know what kind of emotion this is, but one thing for sure, this is new.
"Elena, could you get the broom?" said Zahara, causing my attention to shift away from the young man.
"Elena!" Zahara shouted but it was too late when I stepped on the spilled juice on the floor.
The next thing I knew, Alejandro was holding me by his arm.
"Are you okay?"
*
"...Elena!" Zahara shouted again.
When I opened my eyes, that's when I realized I was flying through the air and if I hadn't noticed, I might have done a 360 on this swing.
And because of shock and stupidity, I immediately jumped from the swing.
And the next thing I knew, Alejandro was holding me.
'This can't be.'
"Are you okay?"
'Shut up! Please!' Screamed by the heart that was now beating uncontrollably.
"This can't be!"
***
Oh game,
If you are indeed playing with me,
may I make a request?
Please be gentle,
and have mercy on me.
***
**EPILOGUE**
[1994]
"Run!" The twins ran hurriedly except for young Elena who froze when she glimpsed through the gate a little boy coming out of the old house they called the haunted house, supposedly home to a witch.
"Is what Zahara said true that when you turn seven years old, your third eye can open?" she asked herself while her eyes widened in fear.
"Is someone there?" asked the little boy, but young Elena quickly ran to the wall and ended up sitting on the ground.
***
"I'm telling you, I saw a ghost there yesterday. Maybe the spirits are angry because we keep throwing stones at their house."
The next day, she didn't hesitate to tell the twins what she had witnessed yesterday. Young Zahara immediately trembled in fear and grabbed onto the back of her twin Fern's uniform.
"What did it look like? Did you talk to it?" Fern asked one question after another, his voice filled with excitement instead of fear.
"He looked about our age."
"Get out of here! Don't you ever throw stones again or you'll taste the revenge of us ghosts."
The friends immediately looked at each other and almost simultaneously ran away before the suspected ghost could catch them.
Unfortunately, Elena was left face-down on the ground, crying uncontrollably after scraping her knee from the fall and being left behind by her friends.
"Are you okay?" Young Elena suddenly froze and her eyes widened when she saw the suspected ghost right in front of her.
"Don't take me, stay away from me! Sorry for throwing stones at your house, please have mercy," Elena said while keeping her eyes closed, crying non-stop, and holding her knee that was now writhing in pain.
"Don't be scared, I'm not really a ghost like you all say. I'm Caloy, and I live in that house you keep throwing stones at with my mom and sibling. I pretended to be a ghost earlier so you wouldn't throw stones at the house anymore. Because one time, you hit my dog Cookie with a stone."
Elena slowly opened her eyes as she gradually calmed down.
"What happened to you?" asked the little boy who now seemed unable to look at her directly.
"I... I have a wound on my knee because of you," said Elena, causing the little boy to panic and pat his pocket frantically.
"Here." He shakily handed over a bandaid with the cartoon character on it, which young Elena took without hesitation.