57

Opposite my mother's was a small low sort of bedstead called a child's,

I don't know why. It was covered with a large skin on a mattress. Mother

used it as a sofa. My prick was actually up against Sarah's belly, my

balls nestling in the hair of her cunt, my hands tightly round her bum,

but her legs were so close together, that I could not get into her; I

put one hand down to open the road to her cunt, but could not manage it,

though her resistance was growing less. She ceased praying me to leave

off, but tried by putting her hands down, to dislodge me from her belly,

withdrawing her hands as they touched my prick. The blinds were down, no

one but us in the house, I saw the child's bed, pulled her towards it,

I going backwards. We fell on it together, she more than half on the top

of me; another struggle, and her petticoats were flung up as I rolled

her round on to her back. She tried to pull them down, bringing her

knees half up to meet them; I saw her buttocks beneath and recklessly

pushing with my hand, a finger went half-way up her cunt. Down went her

legs quite straight, the next instant I was on the top of her.

I weighted her down, she lay panting. "Now do Sarah dear, be quiet."

She said not a word, nor looked at me. I pressed my knees, and with

difficulty opened her thighs, and we were belly to belly; with one or

two vigorous shoves, in went my prick without difficulty and spending as

it entered. So did abstinence, desire, and excitement tell on me. It has

often behaved in the same way.

I was now at a time of life when I could do more fucking, and after

long abstinence if I liked a woman, could sometimes do it twice

before withdrawing. The first words she uttered were, "Oh! let me go

downstairs, the dinner will be spoiled." But what did that matter to a

man whose prick was stiff up a cunt! So I waited my second enjoyment;

and if I know anything about the matter, you my dear Sarah, brought your

liquor out to mix with mine.

Scarcely was my prick out of her, before the street bell rang;

downstairs she ran, I went upstairs. I recollect how wet my hair and

my balls were as I ran, wrapping them up. It was her sister. Directly

afterwards home came mother. Dinner was served, what a row there was,

the meat was not done, the vegetables smashed. "It is disgraceful,"

said mother, "has she been upstairs Walter?" How queer I felt at that

question, and wonder my confusion was not noticed. I said I did not

know. "I will be bound she has," said mother, "and been trying on her

finery before going out to-night, Sundays and dress are the ruin of

servants now-a-days." "I have been out," said I to mother. "You would

have done yourself more good had you been to church," said she.

After dinner mother went up to her bed-room as was her custom, to doze

on the small bed; the next minute her bell rang violently. "Send up

Sarah," said she angrily to Susan, and up she went, I went into the hall

listening in a funk. "Why don't you keep my bed-room door closed?" said

she, "as I tell you." "I am almost sure it was closed when I went out."

"Have you been in here?" "No m'am," stammered the poor woman, "the nasty

cat has been up here on this bed (luckily the cat had done that once

before), and been scratching up the skins." "You must have opened the

door,--and oh! the beast has made some mess upon it." Mother told Sarah

to wipe up the place, it was only marks of what Sarah's overflowing cunt

and my prick had dropped in our hurry. A little more blowing up, and

mothers' anger was over. Sarah came down, looking more dead than alive,

when I saw her in the hall.

In the evening Sarah went out, and I to church,--so mother thought,--but

in reality to meet Sarah. For an hour we walked about, then as it

grew dark began kissing. What a difference the morning had made. No

resistance now, my hand roved over the smooth bum and belly, a slight

objection on the part of the thighs as my hand touched the hairy

covering, but for an instant only, then as of a right the fingers felt

the moist lapels, which were soon opened by my prick, as I fucked her

up against the wall of the garden, at the very spot where some weeks

previously I had fucked the unknown lady, and caught the clap.

Good and bad luck come in heaps. I was now in for the good. Next Sunday

and others afterwards, we had a nice half-hour on her bed, or my bed, or

on the sofa in the parlour; but we left no signs of the cat anywhere.

My mother then went on a long visit to my aunt in H--tf--dshire, wanted

me to go, but I could not get away, so she took my sister from my aunt's

and Tom, and to my delight took Susan. Sarah was left as servant, the

deaf female relative came again to take charge of the house, and we

three were alone in it. My mother's last words were, "Give as little

trouble as you can, and I hope Walter, you will keep out of bad society,

and not be out late." I was mostly to dine with my guardian's executor,

an old family friend.

That night and for several weeks, Sarah and I slept together, it was a

honey-moon. My old relative, deaf and timid, used to lock her door; I

used to go across to Sarah's and lock it, mother having put back the

key. We had fear of being found out, but not much. In those weeks we

gave way so to our passions, that we were worn out. I taught her all I

knew; she was willing, docile, and did all I told her: love's amusements

in every variety which I then knew of did we try; never had I had such

continuous fucking. The first thing mother on her return noticed, was

that I was pale, and then great was her astonishment when told by my

old deaf relative, that I had scarcely been out one night after seven

o'clock, and up early most days; so my mother put it down to close

attention to my studies, for I was preparing.

I told Sarah in confidence I had had a virgin, and that there had been

difficulty with her, but none in getting into Sarah. She swore by all

that was solemn that she never had had a man, that although she had been

kissed and tried, no man had put his hands on her naked thighs until I

had. From what she had heard of girl's virginities, she thought she must

have been different from them; she could always easily put a finger up

her cunt, and I believed her. She spent the second time I did it to her.

****

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