On the first day of the journey, Nox tried to compose in his mind what he would say to Torven when he saw him again. Would Torven be glad to see him too? Would he welcome him with open arms? The very thought made Nox's heart race. Even Gerhart seemed pleased that they were heading back that way. He galloped more energetically, almost joyfully, it made the journey seem a bit shorter.
He did wonder, if Torven accepts him of course, should they just stay and live in his estate? There is nothing that would tie him to the South anymore, so Syrren would look after his place. 'It is probably in total chaos already by now,' he thought, at the same time hoping the girl hadn't gotten herself into more trouble. But the moment of worry was fleeting. His thoughts kept getting pulled, as usual, back to Torven.
Nox silently congratulated himself for not sending that dreadful letter, 'That would've been a disaster'.
He rode the entire way almost without stopping, pausing only to sleep and eat, telling himself that the faster he got there, the better.
...
When Torven's estate finally appeared on the horizon, a wave of panic hit him.
'What if he doesn't want to see me? Or what if... he's not there at all?'
For a moment, he even considered turning back. But he scolded himself for the foolish thought. He had to see him. Immediately.
When he arrived at the courtyard, he spotted Velkan, sitting under the oak tree, who gave him a wide, joyful smile. The warrior immediately understood why Nox had come before he even opened his mouth and pointed him toward the main door of the house. Nox nodded in thanks.
"Take care of Gerhart," he asked softly, then walked forward with hesitant steps. The stones crunched beneath his boots. He took a deep breath, trying to calm his pounding heart, and upon entering the building, he went straight to the front room.
The door was closed. He hesitated for a moment, unsure whether to knock, but in the end, he ended up pushing it lightly open and stepping inside.
Torven stood with his back to him, arranging something on a shelf by the fireplace. At the sound of the door, he immediately turned around.
In Torven's eyes, Nox saw both surprise and... joy.
Without hesitation, he threw himself into his arms.
"Torven... my Torven... I'm sorry... Please forgive me... I love you," Nox kept whispering into his ear, everything he didn't say last time.
"It's okay, Nox. I missed you so much. And... I love you, too," Torven replied, stroking his hair.
Nox rose onto his toes, tilted his head, and kissed him fiercely. It wasn't gentle or cautious; he poured every unspoken word into that kiss. Their mouths met in a hungry, breathless rhythm, tongues intertwining in a dance that spoke of all they hadn't dared to say: the ache of separation, the relief of reunion, the overwhelming joy of finally being home in each other's arms.
Their hot breaths mingled, and every time Nox tried to pull away slightly, Torven drew him back with even more urgency. Nox wrapped his arms around his neck, playing with the dark strands of his hair, while Torven held him by the small of his back, pulling him so tightly that Nox had no doubt just how aroused Torven was.
"I have to... We need to stop for a moment," Nox whispered breathlessly between the kisses, trying to gather his thoughts. "Hang on, please... I need a bath."
Torven reluctantly let go of him, though he didn't mind Nox's scent, some kind of a mix of ash, sweat, and stables.
"I'll draw you a bath," he offered and had already started toward the fire to heat the water up when he suddenly turned back, grabbed Nox's hand, and pulled him along. He clearly didn't want to be apart from him for even a second.
They prepared the bath together. When Nox finally sank into the warm water and Torven sat on the edge of the tub, he rolled up his sleeves and began washing Nox's hair. Foam slid from his muscled arms onto his trousers, but he didn't care. He gently massaged Nox's scalp, and he closed his eyes for a moment, finally relaxing after the journey.
"Torven... I need to tell you something," Nox began, his tone a bit more serious now.
"Yes?" Torven asked encouragingly.
"I'm sorry you had to leave. I needed time to sort things out... But now... now it's better. Thank you for being there when I needed you. I'm sorry for pushing you away."
Torven smiled softly, not stopping the gentle movements of his hands.
"You know... I've never told anyone this, but... I was once under someone's control, too."
He was secretly glad the water hid his trembling hands. He continued his story, and told Torven about Blint, about the betrayal, how he found himself being controlled, how he didn't even know the extent of what Blint had done to him and about his fear of becoming just like him.
"Hey, hey..." Torven wrapped his arms around him from behind, hugged him around the neck, and whispered into his ear, "You're nothing like him. You're the best thing that's ever happened to me."
Nox rested his head on Torven's shoulder and closed his eyes. He was glad he was soaking wet; it meant Torven wouldn't see the tear that slipped from his eye. For the first time, he was crying not from pain, but from happiness.
"Your shirt's all wet. You should just join me," he said eventually with a slightly cheeky smile.
"Later. First, I need to feed you," responded Torven
Nox thought Torven was a bit like the perfect servant; he had bathed him, dried him, and now he had prepared dinner, and Nox chuckled under his breath when he started feeding him.
"You know I can feed myself, right?"
"I know. But let me spoil my lover a little." Answered Torven.
"Am I your lover now?" responded Nox with happiness in his eyes.
"Are you not?" said Torven, tilting his head a little
"I am," Nox replied seriously, looking him straight in the eyes.
"Good," Torven whispered, offering him another spoonful. "Now say aaaa..." -
Nox rolled his eyes, but obediently opened his mouth, thinking that he would do anything for this man.
They spent the entire afternoon together, inseparable. Torven didn't let go of his hand even for a second. They ate side by side, took a short walk through the fields, and fed the horses, close and touching, as if afraid that letting go might make it all disappear.
Nox felt a little awkward; he wasn't sure if he should show affection so openly around Velkan and the older housemaid, who looked rather conservative. But every time he tried to subtly pull his hand away, Torven just squeezed it tighter and gently pulled him even closer. To his surprise, both Velkan and Mary, the elderly woman, smiled warmly at the sight of them. Nox felt slightly embarrassed, but also deeply relieved. His heart was filled with happiness.
In the evening, they sat quietly by the fireplace. Torven read a book aloud, turning the pages with one hand, while the fingers of his other remained gently intertwined with Nox's, who didn't even know what the book was about; he was just slowly drifting off, relaxed, his head resting on his beloved's lap.
Nox awoke as Torven was carrying him to the bedroom. He nestled against his neck and smiled.
"This isn't a dream. I'm really here with you."