Majestically Screwed

Walking down the main street of Cerulean City, Blue couldn't help but smile. All across the city, restaurants lined the streets, each offering a dazzling array of dishes—not just from Kanto, but from Johto, Hoenn, Sinnoh, even Paldea. Somehow, the city had managed to attract some of the best chefs from across the regions, each bringing the culinary pride of their homeland with them.

"Giovanni did a damn good job," Blue muttered to himself with a satisfied nod.

It had been Giovanni's responsibility to transform Cerulean into the culinary capital of Kanto, and, unsurprisingly, the Team Rocket boss had taken to the task with gusto. He was, after all, a man who appreciated fine cuisine and a good glass of wine almost as much as Blue himself.

Blue came to a stop in front of the towering new structure at the city's heart. Unique didn't even begin to describe it—it commanded attention.

It was the newly constructed Ground-type Gym, Giovanni's personal masterpiece.

The design was striking: a giant, partially sunken dome encircled by golden sand, giving the impression of a desert mirage blooming in the middle of the city. The dome resembled an enormous Poké Ball half-buried in the earth, crafted from weathered sandstone and brushed bronze. It was an elegant fusion of ancient resilience and modern power. The top portion curved smoothly, reminiscent of a Dugtrio emerging from the ground.

What stood out even more was what didn't stand in front of it—nothing. No buildings cluttered the expansive plaza stretching before the gym. It was prime real estate, yet it had been left intentionally open, a vast, quiet space in the city's bustling center.

Heading toward the nearest restaurant, just off the plaza, Blue stepped inside and instantly knew he'd entered one of the finest establishments in Kanto. The opulence was obvious—from the sleek design to the polished service. The waiter looked so competent that Blue had to resist the urge to offer him the position of Grass Gym Leader—anything to finally stop Erika from hiring only women.

At the center of the restaurant sat Giovanni, swirling a glass of white wine with effortless elegance. The entire restaurant had been cleared out—clearly reserved just for the two of them. Blue wasn't surprised. This place probably doubled as a front for some kind of Team Rocket money-laundering operation. Giovanni did have all the classic mob boss vibes, after all.

"Champion Blue," Giovanni greeted him as he stood, ever the impeccable gentleman. "Please, have a seat."

As Blue settled into the chair across from one of the most dangerous and competent men in all of Kanto, a server placed a glass of fine wine and an appetizer before him. The meal was unmistakably Italian in origin. In fact, now that he thought about it, the entire vibe of Cerulean City—its architecture, its ambiance—felt heavily inspired by Italy. Which made sense, considering who ruled it now. And truthfully, it made the city even more beautiful than it had already been.

"You've done an impressive job, Giovanni," Blue began. "Honestly, Cerulean is stunning. If I could, I'd move my headquarters here. But I fear if I lived in this city for even a month, I'd get so fat I'd no longer be able to fulfill my grandfather's greatest wish."

Giovanni raised a curious brow, the corner of his mouth tugging upward. "The greatest wish of the legendary Professor Oak? Dare I ask what that is?"

"That I make him a great-grandfather, of course," Blue said without hesitation.

What Blue didn't realize was that he'd already kind of adopted a daughter in Mini Elesa.

When he brought her to Kanto, he had no idea she was basically a pint-sized version of his Electric Gym Leader. Men could be pretty oblivious, and Blue especially had a notorious case of tunnel vision whenever he was focused on a mission.

"Ah," Giovanni said with a small nod. "Family. Yes. That is what matters most. I agree."

Blue blinked, thrown off for a second. Wasn't there some story about Giovanni having a falling out with his mother? And then there was the whole Silver situation… Though in some versions, Giovanni genuinely cared for his son, at least.

"You're probably wondering why I visited on such short notice," Blue continued. "I think I've made it clear—I want Kanto to become the greatest region in the world. For that, I need people who are capable. And you, Giovanni, are undoubtedly one of the finest ever born in these lands."

"I'm honored," Giovanni replied with a nod. "But I'm merely a hardworking man. Like any true son of Kanto, I want nothing more than to see our region flourish."

Blue grinned, clearly pleased. "That's why I'm here. I sit before you with a pure heart, Giovanni—offering my sincerity and friendship. No strings attached."

———

Celadon City. Celadon Game Corner.

Team Rocket Grunt Joey spat on the ground in frustration.

"Old man, beat it before I kick your ass!"

A bald, white-bearded man sat slumped in front of a vending machine, desperation etched deep into his weathered face.

"Just lend me a little money!" he pleaded hoarsely. "One game—just one! I know I'll win this time! I'll pay you back double—no, triple!"

Joey sighed. This was his life. Every. Damn. Day.

"Stop talking nonsense, you crazy geezer!" he groaned. "It's the first of the month and you've already blown your whole rent check on one damn machine! You're broke, you're loud, and you're scaring the other customers—so get lost before I make you!"

"NOOOO!" the old man howled, flinging his arms around the vending machine like a monkey clinging to a sacred tree.

"There's no helping it," Joey muttered, reaching for a Poké Ball. In a flash of red light, a Sandile appeared by his side.

The old man gasped, still hugging the vending machine. "What is that?"

"A Sandile," Joey replied, grinning smugly.

"What?!" The man's eyes widened. "You grunts only use Rattata, Zubat, Ekans… maybe a Voltorb or Grimer if you're slightly competent! Since when do you people have other Pokémon?" He chuckled, half-mocking. "As if any of you could catch something that doesn't evolve into literal garbage."

Joey's grin twitched.

The worst part? The old bastard wasn't wrong.

Why did he have a Sandile?

It all went back to Champion Blue.

When Blue handed Giovanni authority over three new starter Pokémon, everything began to change within Team Rocket.

"I was a fool to let you idiots choose your own teams," Giovanni had declared one day before the entire organization. "From now on, I'll do it Champion Blue's way. I'll personally assign you capable Pokémon—strong ones—so maybe, just maybe, some of you will finally be useful."

And to be fair… it was a good change.

At first, each grunt only got one new Pokémon, and most had to register at the Ground Gym to receive one. Boss called it a "strategic infiltration" — a way to siphon Pokémon directly from Champion Blue, who had generously supplied them, thanks to the new Breeding Center in Cerulean City focused on regional Ground-types.

But even Joey could see it plain as day: Giovanni was powerful, no doubt. But he wasn't Champion Blue.

Champion Blue had the legendary Oak Hatchery behind him, capable of producing rare, battle-ready Pokémon in numbers the world had never seen.

Even Boss Giovanni respected Blue for that. He never had that kind of respect for Lance—acknowledged his strength, sure, but respect? That took more than just a powerful team.

"Sandile, use Power Trip."

"AAAAAAHHHH!"

Joey grinned darkly as the little crocodile spun into a frenzy of savage strikes.

What a vicious little monster, he thought, watching Sandile beat the old man into submission.

It even used moves Joey had never seen before—certainly not in the old Kanto days. Not until Champion Blue came along and flipped the entire region on its head.

The old man finally released his grip on the vending machine. Joey grabbed him by the collar and dragged him, inch by inch, across the floor of the Game Corner.

"NOOO! Let me go! I just need one more game! Just one more! I was on a winning streak!"

"Yeah, sure," Joey muttered, unbothered. He hauled the man out the door and flung him onto the sidewalk like a sack of trash.

"Come back next month when your pension drops again," he grumbled, dusting off his gloves.

He hated people like that old man.

But they were the reason this place made more money than the Silph Co. vault.

Standing just outside the Rocket Game Corner, Team Rocket Grunt Joey took a deep breath. For a brief moment, he simply basked in the sunlight and rare silence. No screaming addicts, no machines ringing—just peace.

Until...

Twelve Officer Jennys appeared out of nowhere, all of them riding Arcanine—twelve freaking Arcanine. Joey blinked.

Sure, every Officer Jenny had a Growlithe. Yeah, a few of them even managed to evolve theirs with a Fire Stone, but that was a rarity. A flex. A legend among cops.

But twelve Officer Jennys with twelve Arcanine in full formation?

"What the hell…?" Joey whispered.

"We've secured every escape route by land," one Jenny barked into a handheld radio, her tone crisp and official.

Before Joey could even process that, he heard it—low, guttural roars rolling across the sky like thunder.

Looking up, his jaw dropped.

Seven—SEVEN—Dragonite swooped overhead, each one carrying yet another Officer Jenny.

"Air support in position! All aerial exits locked down!" shouted one of the airborne Jennys, saluting from the back of her hulking Dragonite.

Joey stumbled back a step, eyes wide. "Am I on drugs?!"

A fair question, honestly. He did have a history. But no—this week he'd been clean. Mostly. Probably.

Then came the screaming from inside the Game Corner.

Peering through the doors, Joey's blood ran cold.

At least ten Officer Jennys had seemingly materialized inside the hideout. They were posted at every exit, every corner, and standing beside each of them was a damn Exeggutor. Their multi-headed glares followed every Rocket member in the room.

Joey felt like he was hallucinating. This had to be some kind of government-grade fever dream.

But it wasn't over.

Twenty Gengar phased up from beneath the floor—cackling, sneering, eyes gleaming like cursed gemstones. They sent a wave of panic through the Casino staff and grunts, who screamed and scrambled like Meowth on fire.

The Gengar all pointed downward with their ghostly claws.

"THEY'VE FOUND SOMETHING!" one of the Officer Jennys inside shouted.

Then, without warning, every Exeggutor began using Dig—yes, Dig, of all moves! The entire floor shook as massive tunnels were carved into the earth.

And beneath it?

A monstrous secret.

The true headquarters of Team Rocket—buried beneath the Game Corner this whole time.

Joey stared, slack-jawed. His brain refused to catch up.

"We're screwed," he muttered, absolutely, completely stupefied.