Chapter 7: The sunset

I sat there… staring at the ceiling.

Time felt like it completely stopped. No, maybe it was worse than that.

It was like… time forgot to move at all.

What happened yesterday… it was all too fast. Too sudden. I couldn't even remember it properly. But one thing's for sure—

I will never forget what I did yesterday.

If only I were normal… Would life have been easier? Would I have done better? Would I have made it through without ruining everything?

The thoughts wouldn't stop. They spun around in my head like a broken record.

If only…

If only I wasn't born with this stupid heart problem…

If only I was just like everyone else…

I thought I had changed. I thought I had improved. I thought… I finally got the hang of things.

But I guess… life had other plans.

Maybe things were going too well. I got too comfortable. I forgot where I started from the weak, pitiful Marcus who couldn't even walk properly back then.

The 'if only's kept piling up in my head.

If only… If only… If only…

I couldn't stop thinking about it.

Did I really deserve this?

Was this… some kind of punishment from God?

Did I make Him angry somehow? Did I mess up that badly?

The doctor told me earlier I had to rest for three more days.

That means I could go back to school by Monday.

Even the weekend… my only rest days… left me behind.

People always say life is full of surprises. But honestly? I'd call it more like a curse. Nothing surprising ever happens to me, unless it's something bad.

The weekend passed… slow and quiet. Only the nurses and hospital workers talked to me from time to time.

It was peaceful, sure… But my mind? It wasn't.

My mental state? Probably falling apart without me noticing.

Then suddenly—a knock.

The door creaked open, and someone stepped inside.

I froze when I saw him.

Him.

An old friend. From elementary school.

Back when Lucas wasn't even around yet.

I would never forget that face.

He smiled at me, casual as ever.

"Hey, Marcus. Long time no see. Still stuck at the hospital, huh?"

I let out a dry, humorless laugh.

"Yeah… nothing's changed with me. Even after all these years."

But he shook his head.

"Nah. Everything changed… except you."

I blinked, confused.

"What's that supposed to mean…?"

His face turned serious.

"You always look at yourself and your problems, but you never look around. You think that's being humble? It's not. It's being an idiot."

A frown crept onto my face.

"Me? So you're saying this is all my fault? If I wasn't born with this stupid heart disease, I'd be the happiest person alive! How is that my fault?"

He chuckled, like I was some naive kid.

"I've known you since we were kids. You've always been easy to read."

He leaned on the bed frame, still smiling.

"You're not wrong… but you're not right either. You're smart, yeah. But your brain works in the dumbest way sometimes. Honestly? People with real mental struggles have a clearer view than you do with that gloomy mindset."

I scowled.

"So you came all the way here… just to say that petty crap?"

Without warning, he flicked my forehead.

"Because you're petty. You're smart, but dumber than you look. Sometimes… you really need to use that brain of yours."

And just like that, he left. The door clicked shut behind him.

Hours later, I finally got discharged.

It was Sunday evening. The hospital smelled of antiseptic and quiet sadness as I stepped outside.

The sun was setting.

I stopped and looked at it—the orange glow slowly falling behind the tall buildings.

Tomorrow was Monday… again.

I couldn't even see the sunset properly… The buildings blocked most of the view.

But for some reason… I couldn't just leave it like that.

Without thinking, I rushed back inside. Climbed the stairs all the way to the rooftop.

By the time I pushed open the door to the rooftop, I was out of breath.

But… I made it.

The sunset was still there… barely.

"Phew… almost missed the sunset…"

I leaned on the railing, eyes glued to the sky. Reds, oranges, and soft pinks painted the clouds.

I stood there, watching, breathing, thinking.

Why did I even run all the way up here? The sunset comes every day. It wasn't anything special.

But… for some reason… today, it felt important.

Suddenly, I laughed to myself. Quiet and tired.

I sat on the rooftop floor, letting the cool wind brush against my face.

And for the first time in a while… I admitted it to myself.

"Looking back… maybe I really did miss everything… because of my own shitty way of seeing things, huh?"

The sunset faded slowly… but this time, I stayed until the very end.