Do You Like Her?

Do you like her?

The question just hung there in the air between us. My brain, which had been a chaotic mess of pain and apologies and drama all morning, went completely, utterly silent. It was like someone had hit the mute button on my internal monologue.

I just stared at Jake.

'Like her?' I thought, the words echoing in the new-found quiet in my head. 'Like, like her?'

It was such a simple question, but it felt huge. I had never actually stopped to ask myself that. Everything had happened so fast. The accident, the goddess, the system, the hospital, the puking, the punch… It had all been about survival and managing the next crisis. There hadn't been any room to think about something like that.

But now, with Jake staring at me, waiting for an answer, I had to.

Did I like Nina?

I mean, she was cute. That was obvious. The first time I saw her kneeling next to me on the floor, even with my jaw throbbing, that was my first thought. 'She's beautiful.' But being attractive and liking someone were two different things, right?

I thought about her in the hospital. The way she'd looked so exhausted, sleeping in that uncomfortable chair just because she was worried about me. The way her face lit up when I said her cooking was good. That wasn't just guilt. That was… nice. She was a nice person, a genuinely kind person under all that popular-girl stuff.

Then I thought about today. Her crying, telling me she thought of me as a friend. That hit me hard. No one had ever said anything like that to me, not with that much honesty.

So, yeah. I liked her. I liked that she was nice. I liked that she was easy to talk to, when I wasn't being a complete jerk. I liked that she could be so worried and vulnerable, but also laugh at my stupid jokes.

But did I like her like her?

'No,' I decided, and the answer felt surprisingly clear. 'Not like that.'

It wasn't a romantic thing. Not for me, anyway. I was still trying to figure out how to even be her friend. The idea of anything more than that was just… too much. It was a level of complication I wasn't ready for. I was still the guy who thought it was safer to be alone. Pushing that away was hard enough. Jumping straight into having a crush on the girl at the center of all my recent trauma seemed like a terrible idea.

She was a person I was starting to care about. A friend. Maybe. It was too soon to even be sure of that.

"Nah, man," I said finally, my voice low. "It's not like that."

Jake leaned back, looking disappointed. The juicy gossip he was hoping for wasn't there. 

"You sure?" he pressed, that nosy glint back in his eyes. "Because the way she was looking at you when she was helping you up… that wasn't just a 'friend' look."

"She was just worried," I said, rubbing my jaw. "I just got punched in the face, remember?"

"Yeah, but—"

The shrill ring of the bell cut him off. Break was over.

"Saved by the bell," Jake muttered, though he looked more annoyed than anything. He stood up. "Alright, man. But if you change your mind, you got to tell me first. I got to know this stuff."

He grinned and walked back to his own desk, leaving me alone with my thoughts.

The teacher started talking about Life science but I couldn't focus. Jake's question had dug a little hole in my brain and now it was just sitting there.

'Do I like her?'

I had answered no. And I was pretty sure I meant it. But the fact that I had to think about it so hard was weird. Before, the answer would have been an immediate, obvious 'no'. I barely knew her. But now… now I did know her. A little.

I risked a quick glance over at her desk. She was staring down at her textbook, but I could tell she wasn't reading. She was doodling something in the margins of her notebook, her blonde hair falling forward and hiding her face.

Just as I was about to look away, she lifted her head, like she could feel me watching her. Our eyes met for just a second across the classroom.

It was a thousand times more awkward than when we'd made eye contact before. Her eyes went wide, and then she looked away so fast it was like she'd been burned. I looked away too, my face suddenly feeling hot.

I stared hard at my own textbook, pretending to be the most focused student in the world. But my heart was beating a little too fast.

The rest of the school day was absolute torture. I kept my head down, staring at the pages of my textbook, but I wasn't reading a single word. My mind was just a big, jumbled mess.

Every time the teacher asked a question, I flinched, thinking he was going to call on me. Every time someone whispered, I was sure they were talking about the soap opera that had become my life.

I could feel her across the room. It was this weird awareness I'd never had before. I didn't have to look to know she was there, and it felt like there was a string pulled tight between our two desks. 

Every few minutes, I'd get the stupid urge to look up, to see if she was looking at me, but I fought it down every time. 

'Don't be an idiot,' I told myself. 'Just get through the day.'

When the final bell finally rang, it was so loud it made me jump. It felt like a starting gun going off. My only goal was to get out of that room as fast as my battered body would let me. Students were already on their feet, chairs scraping against the floor as everyone packed their bags and chattered about their plans for the afternoon.

I just sat there for a second, watching the chaos. 'This is my chance,' I thought. 'I can slip out while everyone's distracted.'

I moved as quickly as I could, which wasn't very fast at all. Shoving my textbook into my backpack sent a sharp pain through my ribs, and I had to stop and take a slow breath. I grabbed my crutches from where they were leaning against my desk and slowly pushed myself to my feet. 

Every movement hurt, but the thought of getting home to the quiet of my apartment was all the motivation I needed.

I kept my head down as I started limping toward the door, trying to blend into the stream of students leaving the classroom. I didn't look at Nina. I didn't look at anyone. I just focused on the floor, one painful step at a time.

I made it out into the hallway, and for a second, I thought I was actually going to get away. The hallway was crowded and noisy, full of people rushing to their lockers or heading for the exit. It was the perfect cover. I kept moving, weaving through the crowd as best I could.

The front doors were in sight, a rectangle of bright afternoon light that looked like freedom.

I was almost there. I could almost feel the fresh air on my face.

"Kofi, wait!"

The voice cut through all the noise of the hallway, and my stomach just dropped. I knew who it was without even having to turn around. I could hear the sound of someone running, their footsteps slapping against the floor, getting closer and closer.

'Oh, for fuck's sake,' I thought, squeezing my eyes shut for a second. 'Just let me go home.'

I didn't stop. I kept limping toward the doors, pretending I hadn't heard her. Maybe if I just made it outside, she'd give up.

"Kofi!" she called out again, her voice much closer now, and I could hear she was out of breath. "Stop, please!"

A hand grabbed my arm, and I finally stopped, because I didn't have a choice. I stood there for a second with my back to her, trying to figure out what to say.

I finally turned around, and she was standing right there, breathing hard from her run down the hall. Her blonde hair was a little messy, and her face was flushed.

"What do you want, Nina?" I asked, and my voice came out more tired and annoyed than I meant it to.

She took another gulp of air, putting a hand on her chest. "I just... I couldn't let you leave like that," she said between breaths. "After everything that happened today... we can't just not talk about it."