Volume 3: The Apocalypse Wants to Date Me (And She's Hot)
Chapter 13: "Why Did My System Just Match Me with a Demon Queen in a Dating Sim?"
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Kai woke up in his hammock with a headache and a glowing red [NEW SYSTEM ALERT] notification flashing above his face.
He groaned. "Not again…"
Nyxa hovered into view, face unusually sheepish for a floating holographic AI. "Um… you may want to brace yourself."
Kai sat up, squinting at the glowing message:
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[System Glitch Event Triggered: Demon Lust Protocol v666.69 Activated]
[Initializing: Lustbound Dating Simulation – Host: Demon Queen Lillithra]
[WARNING: Reality temporarily overwritten by romantic simulation logic]
[System Admin Note: Oops.]
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Before Kai could scream, the world shifted.
Grass pixelated. Clouds turned into heart-shaped bubbles. The sun started humming a sexy jazz tune.
And then—
Everything turned pink.
Kai blinked. His clothes were gone, replaced by a pristine, too-tight dating sim uniform: blazer, rose pin, open collar.
A heart-shaped box floated in front of him, labeled: "Offer this to Your Destined Lustmatch (™)!"
He threw it aside.
"Nope. Nope nope NOPE."
Then the skies parted.
Fire.
Dark wings.
A throne of lava descending from the heavens.
And on it sat the most jaw-droppingly seductive woman Kai had ever seen.
Lillithra, Queen of the Demon Legions.
She looked like every guilty fantasy stitched together—horns curled back like elegant thorns, red eyes gleaming with dangerous amusement, a devilish tail swaying behind her.
She licked her lips when she saw him.
"Oh my. So you're the glitch-boy everyone's whispering about."
Kai backed up. "This is a mistake. I don't want to—"
"—Flirt with the woman who rules your darkest dreams?" she purred.
Kai gulped.
His system dinged.
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[New Romantic Route Unlocked: Lillithra, Demon Queen of Lust and Dominion]
[Current Mood: Curious. Flirtatious. Mildly Dominant.]
[Objective: Survive the Date Without Getting Possessed (or Falling in Love)]
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"Let's begin," Lillithra declared, snapping her fingers.
The world around them shifted again.
Suddenly: a dating sim high school cafeteria.
Demons in uniforms. Succubi giggling. Giant muscular imps trading protein shakes.
And Lillithra, now dressed like a sexy student council president, slid beside him at a table for two.
Kai sighed. "Do I have a choice?"
"No," the System said.
"Yes," Lillithra said, with a wink. "But you'll enjoy it either way."
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Over the next hour, Kai was dragged through every cliché in demon-themed dating games:
A cooking class, where Lillithra made a cake shaped like his face.
A gym scene, where her "stretching exercises" involved pinning him to the mat.
A poetry club, where she recited a burning ode to his "delicious soul."
And a beach episode, complete with swimsuit malfunction... hers. On purpose.
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By the end, Kai was sweating—not from fear, but from the very real problem of his heartbeat trying to escape his chest.
She leaned in close.
"So... how about a kiss?"
Kai stammered. "W-what happens if I refuse?"
She grinned.
"I might unleash a hellstorm on the mortal plane."
Kai looked at his system.
It blinked innocently.
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[Choice Time!]
1. Kiss her – Gain her loyalty. And maybe a succubus army.
2. Decline – Hope she respects boundaries. Pray she doesn't explode.
3. Run – Not available in dating sim mode.
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Kai sighed.
He leaned forward.
And kissed her on the cheek.
Lillithra blinked. Then smiled slowly. "Bold. Teasing. I like that."
She snapped her fingers.
The simulation shattered.
Kai collapsed into the real world—back in camp, surrounded by staring, furious goddesses.
Yui crossed her arms. "What now?"
Kai raised a hand weakly. "Not my fault this time."
Then a voice echoed across the trees.
"Call me, lover-boy!"
Kai groaned.
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[Romance Route Added: Lillithra – Affection Level 1: Curious Obsession]
[Warning: Succubi May Appear Randomly]
[Goddess Affection Levels: Jealous. Again.]
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Velmaria lit her fist. "We're forming an anti-seduction squad."
Nyxa beeped. "Too late. The Demon Queen tagged him in-system. She has tracking privileges."
Iseria facepalmed. "Just once, I want to go 24 hours without another seductress from a hell dimension showing up."
Kai flopped into the grass.
"This is my life now, huh?"
Yui lay beside him. "Yup."
He glanced up at the stars.
"...it's kinda fun, though."
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End of Chapter 13