"I Woke Up Between a Holy Halo and a Hellish Tail”

Volume 4: Heaven's Proposal: I Accidentally Got Engaged to an Angel and a Demon (At the Same Time)

Chapter 16: "I Woke Up Between a Holy Halo and a Hellish Tail"

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Kai dreamed of peace.

Of clouds, calm skies, and a world not trying to date, devour, or detonate him.

Then he woke up with an angel in his lap—and a demon on his chest.

"Hngh—!?" he choked.

"Good morning, future husband~," cooed the demoness.

"Blessed sunrise, fiancé," murmured the angel.

Kai blinked up at both of them.

"...What."

---

Let's rewind.

After surviving the Infernal Romance Trials, Kai thought he'd earned at least one morning without celestial drama.

Instead, he'd barely returned to the Glitched Camp before a celestial beacon blared overhead.

Then a divine tear opened in the sky—and two radiant beings descended like holy nukes in wedding dresses.

One golden. One crimson.

Both terrifyingly gorgeous.

Both holding contracts.

Both smiling like he'd already said "I do."

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"WHO authorized this?!" Yui had screamed, drawing her blade.

The golden angel bowed slightly. "The High Seraphim of Matrimonial Harmony, Lady Elyssaria."

The demoness snorted. "And the Undercourt of Lustbound Agreements, Duchess Malvexa."

Kai blinked. "...Do you guys know each other?"

"Ex-roommates," they said in unison.

Yui's eye twitched.

Seraphina sighed. "Of course."

Nyxa beeped. "Probability of apocalypse via jealousy... 67% and rising."

---

[New Arc Unlocked: "Heaven or Hell? Pick a Bride, Avoid the Smite"]

[System Update: Soul-Binding Engagement Quests Activated]

[Warning: Rejecting both suitors may result in universal instability.]

Kai facepalmed.

"I JUST survived demon dating death games."

Duchess Malvexa leaned in, crimson curls brushing his cheek. "Exactly. You're finally worthy of marriage."

Lady Elyssaria glowed softly. "And your glitched soul holds the potential for divine purification... through love."

Yui looked one second away from committing celestial murder.

---

Later that day, the goddess harem gathered.

Tension thickened the air.

Velmaria crossed her arms. "We burn the marriage contracts."

Seraphina shook her head. "If we interfere directly, it'll trigger a treaty breach between celestial realms."

Nyxa hovered. "Recommend... chaos. Carefully managed chaos."

Yui snarled. "We're not letting her take him."

Seraphina narrowed her eyes. "Which 'her'?"

Yui froze. "...Shut up."

Kai groaned. "Can't I just stay single?"

Malvexa popped up behind him. "Too late~! You signed the love clause during the Demon Trials!"

Elyssaria smiled. "And you fulfilled three acts of holy compassion. That counts as divine consent."

Kai blinked. "I pet a hellpuppy!"

"Exactly," they said.

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The Proposal Arc Begins

Kai now had to complete a series of "engagement trials" from both realms.

Trial 1: Survive the Welcome Dinner.

Easy?

No.

Because both brides hosted it.

At the same time.

In the same room.

With the same guests—including his goddess harem.

Nyxa projected a danger forecast. "Odds of cake-to-face impact: 82%. Collateral emotional damage: incalculable."

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Dinner was a warzone in disguise.

Malvexa served spiked ambrosia in heart-shaped goblets.

Elyssaria summoned floating food blessed by seven archangels.

Kai sat in the middle, flanked by wrath and rapture.

Yui stabbed her steak like it was sentient.

Velmaria roasted marshmallows on her aura.

Seraphina calmly sipped wine and quietly prayed to every neutral deity.

Malvexa raised a glass. "To love!"

Elyssaria chimed, "To union!"

Kai coughed. "To not dying tonight?"

Then a portal ripped open behind them.

A flaming scroll hovered in.

Everyone stopped.

It read:

> "To Kai the Glitched Mortal— You are hereby summoned to the Celestial Conflict Court. Reason: Accidental Engagement with Two Opposing Celestial Factions. Date: Immediately. Attendance: Mandatory."

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Kai fainted.

Again.

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End of Chapter 16

📘 Up next: Chapter 17 – "Welcome to the Celestial Courtroom, Where Love Is a Legal Weapon"