"Welcome to the Celestial Courtroom, Where Love Is a Legal Weapon”
Volume 4: Heaven's Proposal: I Accidentally Got Engaged to an Angel and a Demon (At the Same Time)
Chapter 17: "Welcome to the Celestial Courtroom, Where Love Is a Legal Weapon"
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Kai was starting to think he needed a lawyer.
Preferably one who specialized in divine engagements, romantic warfare, and contractual time paradoxes.
Instead, he got flung into a shimmering pillar of light, ripped from his dinner table mid-toast, and crash-landed on a floor made of starstuff.
"Defendant has arrived," announced a voice louder than his dignity.
Kai groaned, brushing stardust off his hoodie. "I object."
From above, a floating jury of celestial beings, demonic nobles, and half-glitched avatars blinked at him.
A golden angel with six wings and a gavel floated forward. "Court is now in session. The case: The People vs. Kai of the Glitched System, accused of dual engagement fraud across divine jurisdictions."
The crowd gasped.
Kai looked around. "Is this about the demon queen's 'you're mine now' thing or the angel's 'blessed union' lecture?"
"Both," the judge said.
"And also the kissing. There was a lot of kissing."
Kai flushed. "That was strategic mouth combat!"
---
[New Trial Quest: "Defend Your Heart (Literally)"]
[Objective: Survive the Celestial Love Lawsuit Without Exploding]
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Two podiums flanked him.
At one stood Lady Elyssaria, glowing and graceful in a ceremonial wedding veil.
At the other was Duchess Malvexa, tail swaying as she flicked through a leather-bound book titled 101 Legal Loopholes for Seductive Victory.
Kai was placed in the center, surrounded by love lawyers.
"This is insane," he muttered.
Yui's voice echoed telepathically through a charm tucked in his sleeve. "Just stall. We're coming."
"How long?"
"Before the next vow is read."
That gave him, roughly, twelve seconds.
---
Elyssaria stepped forward.
"Your honors, I present Exhibit A: the Glitched One's sacred acts of affection."
A screen materialized.
It played a slideshow of Kai performing "holy affection"—bandaging a fallen angel, shielding a winged child, and, yes, sharing tea with Elyssaria under a moonlit tree.
The jury swooned.
Malvexa rolled her eyes. "That's just emotionally manipulative lighting!"
She snapped her fingers.
A counter-screen popped up.
Kai on her lap.
Kai saving her from a collapsing hellgate.
Kai—shirtless—carrying her out of lava.
The jury moaned.
"Objection!" Kai shouted. "I wasn't aware any of those moments were binding!"
"Too bad," Malvexa said, winking. "You touched tail. That counts as intent in the Underworld."
Elyssaria beamed. "And you complimented my halo. That's a verbal contract in the Celestial Code."
Kai turned toward the judge. "Surely there's some way out of this without me marrying anyone?!"
A pause.
"...Let us deliberate."
---
While the jury of 13 bickered in celestial binary, Kai was sent to the Waiting Chamber.
It was an endless hallway of shimmering doors.
Each door bore a label:
"Alternate Future #77: You Married the Demon"
"Possible Timeline 44-B: Eternal Angelic Honeymoon"
"Forbidden Ending: Harem Armageddon"
"Bad End: You Said No to Everyone and Died Lonely"
"True End: ???"
He stared at the last one.
Behind him, a soft voice spoke.
"You don't have to choose either."
Yui.
She appeared from a breach in the wall, sword sheathed, wings partially unfurled.
Kai turned, relief flashing across his face. "You got in."
"I always do," she said. "Especially when you're about to throw your heart into a blender."
He smiled faintly. "I thought I had more time."
She walked closer, tapping the "True End" door. "Then open the right one."
---
Back in the courtroom, the judge slammed the gavel.
"The jury finds the defendant... guilty of romantic recklessness."
Malvexa cackled. Elyssaria gave a soft gasp of delight.
Kai opened his mouth to protest—
"But..."
The judge raised a scroll. "Due to extraordinary variables, we will offer the Glitched One a Final Celestial Option."
The scroll unrolled in front of him.
It read:
> You may choose one path to pursue sincerely. The chosen fiancé will receive full engagement privileges. The other party must withdraw. If no choice is made within three days, the cosmos will decide.
"Wait, what does that mean?" Kai asked.
The judge didn't answer.
Instead, he was teleported out of the courtroom in a blinding flash—
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—and reappeared back in his room.
Only now it wasn't his room.
It was a luxurious fusion of heavenly decor and infernal luxury.
Gold-trimmed sheets, obsidian-framed windows, one side glowing with divine light, the other pulsing with seductive warmth.
Two engagement rings lay on the nightstand.
One shimmered like dawnlight.
The other whispered fire.
Yui stood in the doorway, arms crossed. "So. What's your move?"
Kai sat down slowly. "I have three days."
"Not really," Nyxa said, floating in through the ceiling. "System calculates 74% chance the world ends if you pick the 'wrong' one."
Kai groaned. "I hate dating."
Yui smirked. "That's what makes you lovable."
---
He stared at the rings.
One would bind him to heaven.
One would plunge him into hell.
Both might destroy everything.
But deep down, another option echoed.
The glitch in his system whispered:
What if you found your own answer?
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End of Chapter 17
📘 Up next: Chapter 18 – "The Trial of Hearts and Horns"
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