Deterioration

It had been a month since Cici had come into my life. I felt that my body was nearing its end, but for it to have progressed so rapidly in the past two weeks told me all that I needed to know. I was dying, and I wasn't sure how much longer I could last. I had felt myself getting worse lately, but I was hoping I'd have a bit more time. I wanted to spend my time with my new best friend.

Still, despite that, Cici has brought me so much comfort and happiness during this time that I couldn't even be upset. If my life was ending soon, at least I wouldn't have to spend it alone. I loved my little ball of fur. I would have to set something up for someone to take care of her when I'm gone. I felt awful that I wouldn't be there for her...

"What can I do?"

■ ■ ■

Not everything had been all peace and quiet, or necessarily good. A few things had happened during that month, but nothing I could do anything about. It all sucked. I had gotten a text, not even a call or a visit, from Rachel, and I had ignored it for a couple of days. When I finally read it, I couldn't help but let out yet another bitter laugh.

"Elias, I am truly sorry for not telling you about us, but I just couldn't. I did have feelings for you at one point, and while I still care about you, I can't be with someone who's going to leave me soon. It's too much. Keith is healthy as can be, and I know he will be able to take good care of me for a long time. Please, be well. I'm sorry you had to find out this way."

The worst part about reading that? I couldn't blame her, because she was right. Should she have just told me and not cheated on me? Yes, but what the hell does it matter now? I was a dead man walking, and everyone knew it.

My tears had alerted Cici that something was wrong, and shs growled at my phone. I gave her head a good rub. I said fuck it, and just showed her the text, and I watched with amused facination as her eyes scanned the text back and forth, and she hissed at it when she was done. I kept asking Cici if she wanted me to find her a new home or something, and she would always respond by leaping into my arms, and nuzzling my chin, so obviously that was off the table.

My mom had called me one day, but it was a supervised phone call with my dad on the other end, and let me tell you, I'd never been so pissed in my whole life.

"Honey... Eli... my sweet boy, I'm sorry... but your father... he said this is going to be the last time I ever get to talk to you again." She said, and it was obvious she was in tears, sobbing when she finshed the sentence.

"What?? But..." I said, but then I heard my least favorite person in the goddamn world.

"WE DON'T WANT ANYTHING TO DO WITH ANYMORE! YOU'RE AS GOOD AS DEAD, AND WORTHLESS TO US!" My dad yelled, and I gritted my teeth, but I pretended not to hear him.

"Mom, it's okay. Just... do what you have to... I just want you to be okay, so please..." I begged her, and she choked up and began to cry once again.

"YOU SEE? HE MAKES YOU FEEL LIKE THIS, AND YOU STILL WANT TO TALK TO HIM? HANG UP ON HIS ASS!" He slurred the words.

"I love you mom. I wish I could..." I said, choking up, and that only made me sob harder.

I heard loud foot steps and the phone being yanked from her hands, I heard her screaming, and then, nothing. Just a dial tone. I clenched my fist so tight I felt my phone case pop. Cici was by my side, pawing at my arm, and I had no doubt she both heard and understood every word. I dropped my phone, and picked her up, holding her to my chest.

"You're all I have left..." I said, tears falling from my eyes, "And soon..."

■ ■ ■

That all happened about over a week ago, and now, I just sat on the couch, trying to find something else to watch, but nothing interested me. The one about the guy and wolf girl was adorable, and I wished I could be around to watch a season 2, if it even ever comes out. He actually got with the girl pretty early on, and by the end of it, my guy actually got it in. It was nice watching something where the MC isn't clueless about a girl liking him for 15 seasons.

Cici stretched in my lap, rolling over on to her back, and peered up at me with her paws in the air. I smiled as I rubbed her belly, and she wiggled around and began to purr quite loudly. Then, we both yawned, and I looked at her and chuckled.

"Bed time?" I asked, and she meowed at me, and sat back up, and crawled onto my shoulder. I chuckled. "You're like a parrot. Come on then."

I limped to my room, as walking had become quite hard recently, and right when I entered my room, my leg gave out, and I thudded to the floor with a groan.

"God damnit." I muttered, with Cici meowing and nudging me with her head. I reached up and scratched her chin. "I'll... ow... I'll be fine."

I just decided to crawl, inching my way closer and closer to my bed. I finally reached it, and with a herculeon effort, I pulled myself on to my feet, and fell into bed, breathing heavily. I felt Cici jump onto the bed next to me, and begin to lick the side of my face.

"I'm okay, Cici." I said, and I rolled over onto my back, "But I feel terrible for you."

She jumped onto my chest, her favorite place as of late, and instead of falling asleep, she just looked at me, almost expectantly. I began to pet her from head to tailbone as I spoke.

"You know I'm dying, right? I have been for so long. I don't want to leave you alone, but... I can feel it. I'm worse than I've ever been, and I want you to go somewhere where you'll be safe and cared for. I don't know where to bring you yet, but I'll find a place." I said, and I saw my cat's eyes shimmering.

She meowed at me as she licked my nose and that caused my eyes to sting with the onset of more tears.

"Just know that you're the best friend I've ever had. You made the last bit of my life the happiest I've been in a long time. Thank you for letting me take care of you, and for being here for me." I said, kissing her head, "I love you, Cici."

I looked at her again, and once again was reminded of how different this cat was from any other animal I'd ever met before. She was crying, tears staining and matting her fur underneath her eyes. I held her close to me, and joined her. The fact that I had to leave her soon after meeting her tore at me fiercely.

"I'm so sorry, girl." I choked, and at somepoint during this time, I passed out.

I remember some of my dream, but it was mainly bad stuff like my dad yelling at me, and calling me worthless, and scenes of my best friend fucking my ex-girlfriend. So, not very pleasant. Those continued until something else broke through. An image of Cici flitted through my dreams, and then I heard something.

"You can't die." A woman said, and I felt my consciousness slowly returning to me as the dreamscape began to fade.

"Please don't leave me, Eli!" The voice was louder this time, choked sobs accompanying the words.

I blinked my eyes, and they blurred, but slowly came into focus. I couldn't help but notice a significant weight overtop of me, almost like a small person was laying on top of me, holding me down.

"I love you, Eli. Please, don't leave..." The voice was now clear as day, right in my ear.

I moved my hand, and went to feel for Cici where this new weight now was, and I was met not with soft fur, but smooth and soft skin. I moved my hand up, and my hand brushed through long and delicate locks of soft hair. I felt soft, fuzzy ears on the top of the very human like head.

"Eli... stay with me... I need you."

My eyes snapped into focus.