Welcome to the MILF Ivy League

It started with a scroll.

A literal, glowing, ribbon-sealed scroll that burst through my window at 6:47 AM like an enchanted paper missile.

It slammed into my forehead.

BONK.

I fell out of bed.

The scroll unrolled itself midair.

A woman's voice echoed through the room—silky, smooth, and judgmental.

"Kang Min-jae. You are hereby summoned to attend the prestigious Yin Arts Academy, under Section 69 of Resonant Path Anomalies. Dress well. Wear deodorant. This is your only invitation."

The scroll burst into pink flames and vanished.

[SYSTEM ALERT]

CONGRATULATIONS! YOU HAVE BEEN SELECTED FOR ADVANCED TRAINING

YIN ARTS ACADEMY – ENTRY RANK: "ACCIDENTAL PRODIGY"

Your unique cultivation method has triggered administrative curiosity.You are now legally considered an "Unranked Potential Sexual Threat."Good job?

I sat on the floor.

Still in my towel.

Still sore from yesterday's "spa war."

Still glowing from Yura's healing hugs.

And now being force-enrolled in what was basically Cultivator MILF Hogwarts.

"...What the hell is my life?"

Yura stepped into the room, holding tea.

She blinked once at my dazed expression.

"What now?"

"Scroll to the face."

"System invitation?"

"Yup."

She sighed, then handed me the tea.

"Congratulations. You've officially passed the local arc."

"Wait… that's it? No fight? No drama?"

"You're leaving this apartment. Trust me. That's dramatic enough."

"...Are you going to miss me?"

She took a sip of her own tea.

"I'll miss the part of you that listens."

Fair.

Later that day, I packed.

It was a short list:

Two changes of clothes

Three spiritual condoms (System insisted)

A lucky spoon

And my Cultivation Log, which was just a sketchbook with "MILF STRATEGY NOTES" written in aggressive marker

I met Yura at the gate.

She looked calm.

But her eyes were warm.

"Don't die," she said.

"That's the plan."

"Don't flirt with every MILF you see."

"...That's a sub-plan."

We hugged.

Tight.

Long.

No fanfare.

Just warmth.

Then she stepped back.

"Your ride's here."

"What ri—"

BOOOOOM.

A flying sedan.

A literal, floating Rolls Royce made of obsidian and sex appeal, slammed to a stop in front of the apartment.

The doors hissed open.

And out stepped…

Her.

Black uniform. Heels. Hair like obsidian knives. Lips painted red enough to count as a warning label — and curves engineered by a lonely god on his smoke break. Her breasts were absurd: high-tier Yin weapons barely restrained by a black silk bra, the upper swell of each peak teasing just above her uniform's edge like they were auditioning for their own cultivation scroll.

"Are you Kang Min-jae?" she asked, voice flat.

"Unfortunately."

"Get in."

"Name?"

"Ms. Hwan. Headmistress Escort. If you fail, I erase your soul."

"...Neat."

[SYSTEM: NEW CHARACTER PROFILE UNLOCKED]

MS. HWAN – Cultivation Rank: Empress (???), Temperament: Knife-Wrapped-Whiskey

Affection: Currently thinks you're trash

System Comment: Try not to get vaporized before homeroom.

The ride to the academy was... intimidating.

We flew over mountaintops, rivers, and at one point—what looked like a floating island shaped like cleavage.

I blinked.

"Is that—?"

"First-year dorms," Ms. Hwan replied.

"I'm sorry?"

"Don't be. You won't last long enough to live there."

Cool.

Reassuring.

We landed on a pristine marble platform carved into the side of a massive temple-like academy.

Dozens of cultivators walked the halls, all in stylish uniforms — tight-fitted robes, floating accessories, and scrolls that looked like they could judge you.

Then the whispers started.

"That's him…"

"The MILF System boy…"

"He ascended by… snuggling?"

"I heard he got aroused during Downward Dog and achieved Enlightenment."

[SYSTEM NOTE]

YOU HAVE A REPUTATION HERE

TITLE: "MILF-BONDED ANOMALY"

SOCIAL STANDING: 10/100 (Curious Mockery)

Ms. Hwan led me through polished halls until we reached a room labeled:

"Orientation Room: Welcome, Future Sinners."

She opened the door.

And inside…

Was a sea of women.

All ages. All types. Some cute. Some dangerous. Some already glowing with aura that could strip a soul bare.

And one seat.

In the middle.

Waiting.

"Sit," she said.

"You gonna watch?"

"Judge. Silently."

I sat.

Everyone stared.

Then the lights dimmed.

And a floating projection appeared above the center.

"WELCOME, CANDIDATE #404 – KANG MIN-JAE."

"PATH: UNREGISTERED LUST SYSTEM – 89% Compatibility with Advanced Yin Cultivation"

"PRIMARY AFFINITY: SEDUCTIVE STAMINA | SUB-AFFINITY: EMOTIONAL LINKAGE"

"REMARKS: Unorthodox. Possibly dangerous. Highly flammable."

Someone behind me whispered:

"I heard he climaxed so hard he healed a broken heart."

Another girl snorted.

"Wasn't that a plot of a romance manhwa?"

"Nope. He did it. In a closet. With soup nearby. Apparently"

I sighed.

Ms. Hwan tapped her clipboard.

"Min-jae. Welcome to the academy."

"Thanks."

"You start tomorrow. Until then, get your uniform and find your assigned roommate."

"...I get a roommate?"

"Yes. Upperclassman."

"...Please tell me it's not—"

The door opened.

A tall figure stepped inside.

Silver hair.

Turtleneck.

Eyes like moonlight sharpened into daggers.

Eun Hae.

She smiled.

"Rooming assignment confirmed. I hope you brought enough… discipline."

[SYSTEM UPDATE]

ACADEMY ARC: OFFICIALLY BEGUN

ROOMMATE ASSIGNMENT: EUN HAE

YOU ARE IN DANGER (AGAIN).