Chapter Three-Maria

Anna and Giselle turn out to be really wonderful.

Sweet, pretty, kind.

I make them two Orange Crushes, sort of a Jersey specialty drink. One is virgin for the expectant mama, but the fresh orange juice and splash of lime soda are still delicious.

I can see by the way they act with each other, they’ve been friends for a long time.

My chest gets tight, and I wonder if I’ll ever have something like that. Maybe I could have. I mean I had friends in high school and college. Maybe I still would, if I hadn’t run away.

But I did run.

And that changes everything, doesn’t it?

I know without a doubt I was an idiot coming to this place, searching for sanctuary.

I see the way Nico is with Anna, and I know now that I was just kidding myself, thinking I ever stood a chance.

He was never for me. Truth is, I don’t feel that way about him.

I don’t feel that way about anyone.

It is hard to catch feelings when you’re always in costume. That’s what this is.