Chapter 3: Moss cannon

"Alright, Creepy Wizard Man." Mikey spoke as he ripped the entry of Creepy Wizard Man from the book. Before stepping away, he thought for a moment, "Just in case." Mikey said to himself as he took the entries of the Evil, Really Evil, and Super Evil wizard man. From beside him, Nickel nodded, a look of relief on his face, as if he finally had belief they could find the princess.

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"So, uh, where is he?" Mikey and Nickel could be seen outside the castle, looking at a picture of Creepy Wizard Man. "Ze creepzies Wizard must stayz in ze Forest of Death."

"Nah, I don't think he's a chef." Mikey replied, looking in the background of the picture. From beside him, Nickel groaned and tugged at his ears like he was trying to rip them off. Mikey looked towards Nickel, taking in the scene of him pulling on his own ears. "Don't worry, Nickel, we'll find the princess." 

Mikey turned back towards the photo, walking forward. "Well, we know he's not in the kingdom, I think, so he's probably outside!" Mikey said as he and Nickel were walking down a street. From beside him, Nickel tugs at his shirt before pointing towards a store labeled "Tailoring." "Nickel, we don't need new clothes." Mikey looked confused at Nickel's pointing. 

With a huff, Nickel dragged Mikey inside, seeing clothes lining the inside of the shop. At their entrance a bell rings. From the back came a taller, skinny man with a curved mustache, wearing a Victorian leg-of-mutton shirt with a red vest on top. The man looked them up and down before speaking, "Mhm, you definitely need new clothes. What are you looking for?" A tone of condescension in his voice. 

Mikey turned towards Nickel. "I told you we don't need clothes." From behind him, the man spoke. "Trust me, you do." Before he could continue, Nickel interrupted. "Ze needz Mapz." The man raised his eyebrow. "Oh, you should have said so." The man pulled a lever from the side of the shop, the clothes rotating out and in their place maps took their place. Depictions of kingdoms, landscapes, and even monster lairs lay in the shop plain to see. The man flipped a monocle over his eye and sat at a desk.

"Well, go ahead, spill," The man took a pen from his shirt pocket and a blank sheet of paper from under his desk. "What do you need the map for?" Mikey looked confused between Nickel and the man. "I thought you were a tailor?'

"I am."

"Then why are you drawing maps?"

"Tailors do both," the man replied, twirling his pen. 

"No, they don't? Cartographers draw maps."

"No, tailors do; you get a map tailored, not catographered"

"That doesn't make any sense," Mikey replied, with genuine confusion on his face. "I'm genuinely sure they call it something else." The man gained an annoyed look. "Do you want a map or not?" "zes zir, zneed mapz forz prinzess" Nickel replied next to him. "Alright then," the tailor twirled his pen, "what kidnapped her?"

"Why does that matter?" Mikey replied, still thinking about the not-cartographer thing. "Well, if a dragon took her, you'd need a map of dragon lairs, right? But if a kingdom took her, you'd need a map to get to another kingdom, but if a monster took her, you'd need maps of caves and monster lairs. Get what I'm saying?" Mikey nodded at the response, "Well, uh, a wizard took her, we think."

The tailor looked at Mikey with an annoyed look. "What kind?" He said, tapping his pen on the table, "An evil one." The tailor looked at Mikey, clearly not amused. "So you came here to waste my time, huh?" 

"Of course not, but that's all we know," Mikey quickly said, pleading in his voice. From beside him, Nickel shook his head up and down. The man sighed before speaking, "Alright, well, here."

After taking a moment to think, the tailor began drawing; within a minute, a map began to appear on the table. The tap of his pen was all you could hear for the next minute or so as he drew. With a final tap, the tailor spoke. "Alright, well, here," he pointed towards the freshly drawn map. "These are all the evil wizard territories of people who have and have not kidnapped princesses? If you have a photo, I could point you towards an area." Mikey spoke as he dug in his pocket, "Actually, we do!"

From his pocket he took out the ripped entry of Creepy Wizard Man. "Hm, a green wizard, if I had to take a guess, then." The tailor pointed towards a forest on the map. "He probably lives in the forest of death, right beside it." The tailor moved his pen over a few millimeters. "The field of pain and agony," he finished his sentence with the tap of his pen.

"T-t-the forest of death?" Mikey's face turned pale at the tailor's words, "W-why are they called that?" The tailor rolled his eyes at the question. "I made this clear already. I'm a tailor, not a prophet, but probably because of the screams and dying and stuff." Mikey's face somehow turned a lighter shade of white. "D-dying??" From beside him, Nickel looked at Mikey: "Wimp."

"Take care of your problems another time. Are you paying for the map?" Mikey's skin turned back to a regular shade of tan. "Oh, uh, yeah," Mikey dug in his wallet, taking out 4 pieces of copper. "Oh no, I'm a tailor, not a thief." From beside the shop you could hear a loud sneeze as the tailor gave back one copper. A ding from the door rang as Mikey and Nickel walked out.

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"So the forest of death is about." Mikey and Nickel walked as he spoke, "I'd say about a 2-3 day walk away?" From beside him, Nickel spoke, "Ze horze be fazter." 

"Yeah, I could go for a steak platter, but not now, though. Aha, we're here." A horse stood stable in front of them. They barely reached the stable door before being stopped. "Uh-uh, you're renting a horse?" 

"Yeah?" Mikey said the man in front of him continued, "Where to, how long, and for what purpose?" The man held out his fingers as he stated it. "Uh, forest of death, 6-7 day round trip? and to save the princess." A look of amusement appeared on the stableman's face. "Ha, that was actually kind of funny." The man patted his stomach as he laughed. "But really, what's your real reason?" Mikey looked at him. "You're kidding, right? Haha, no." The man began closing the door. 

"Wait," Mikey yelled, "it's for the king's daughter, THE princess?" "You have to let us take a horse there," Mikey said, the man in front of him opening the door back up. "For one, I don't, and two, you sound pretty entitled for that."

"Yeah, my bad, but still," Mikey tried defending his case.

"No, I'm not letting you take my horse to the forest of death; you're pretty dumb for thinking that," Nickel spoke from beside him. "Vezy dumb."

A slammed door ended their conversation. "You know what, Nickel?" Mikey turned to his side. "I'm starting to think people don't care for the princess." "Zou dont carez forz ze princezz" Mikey took a deep breath. "You're right, Nickel, it's our duty to save her. Who cares for a 3-day walk anyway? Thanks, nickel." 

Nickel simply nodded his head up and down, 'maybe'z i waz curzed'