Chapter 11

Chapter 11: Love, Lies, and Feathers in the Air

Simba never thought his fake life would get real enough to need romantic drama, but here he was—shirt half-buttoned, mouth hanging open, and heart doing backflips—because Tariro had just walked into the yard looking like a human plot twist.

Tariro. The village goddess of missed chances. The same girl who once rejected Simba for DJ TouchMeNot, the man with a Bluetooth speaker and zero morals.

She stepped out of a borrowed Benz with suspicious number plates, wearing high heels too tall for rural roads and sunglasses that screamed, "I'm back with complications."

Steve peeked from the window, dragging his microphone.

"Ladies and gentlemen," he whispered to himself, "let the scandal begin."

Simba stood frozen.

"Hi Simba," Tariro said like they hadn't left things on a broken note. "I watched your show in Harare. I didn't know you had become so... dramatic."

Simba blinked. "I didn't know you still had my number."

Natasha emerged from the house, holding a suspicious muffin. She narrowed her eyes at Tariro like a security guard smelling fake perfume.

"Who's this?" she asked.

"I'm Tariro," the visitor smiled. "Simba and I have history."

Natasha raised an eyebrow. "Is it history that needs repeating?"

Tariro laughed like someone who knew how to win arguments. "Maybe. That depends on Simba."

Simba suddenly felt like a schoolboy caught between two teachers. He stepped back and tripped over Pastor Wings' portable altar.

Meanwhile, Steve had already updated his podcast script. "Episode 2: The Return of the Woman Who Broke Our Boss."

That evening, drama simmered.

Natasha baked aggressively.

Tariro strolled around the yard like she owned the province.

Pastor Wings stared into the sky as if searching for divine updates.

And Simba—poor Simba—hid in the chicken coop for spiritual reflection.

But the madness had only just begun.

The next morning, two hens arrived. Celebrity hens. Their names? Zodwa and Rachel.

They were from a nearby poultry modeling agency and claimed they had seen Pastor Wings on social media.

"We are spiritually moved by his feathers," Zodwa said.

"He's the vibe," Rachel added.

Pastor Wings didn't speak. He just did a soft crow and posed near a sunflower.

Steve called an emergency podcast.

"Breaking news: Pastor Wings is being courted by high-end hens while our ex-girlfriend-turned-villain reclaims her spot. Stay tuned."

Tariro didn't like the hens.

"Why is your chicken wearing sunglasses now?" she asked Simba.

"He's evolved," Simba answered.

"He's ridiculous," she replied.

Natasha entered the room. "And yet he's more loyal than some exes."

Tariro folded her arms. "Are you always this loud, or is it a character flaw?"

Natasha stepped forward. "Only when homewreckers show up without a receipt."

Simba screamed. "Enough! This isn't a reality show."

Steve shouted from behind the door, "Yes it is. Episode 3 is called 'Henemies and Exes: A Rural Love Story.'"

Simba locked himself in the goat shed.

Meanwhile, Pastor Wings was basking in attention. Zodwa brought him a worm smoothie. Rachel sang a gospel song in chicken language. The village kids started following him around chanting, "Prophet Wings, lay us wisdom!"

Back in the house, Tariro sat with Simba.

"I was wrong," she said softly. "I shouldn't have left. I got caught up in city life—empty clubs, empty pockets, empty promises."

Simba looked at her. "And now you want back in because I'm viral?"

She nodded. "Partly. But mostly because you're still you. The weird, wonderful guy who once tried to baptize a chicken with cooking oil."

Simba laughed. "That was Steve's idea."

They shared a moment.

From the window, Natasha watched. She whispered, "I swear if she kisses him, I'll throw a muffin that ends her career."

Meanwhile, Steve had reached the peak of his broadcasting career.

"Episode 4: Triangle of Tears—Simba, Tariro, Natasha. Who wins? Who bakes? Who pecks?"

Suddenly, a knock.

A man in a suit stood at the gate. "Good afternoon. I'm from FeatherFlix International. We're producing a documentary on rural poultry prophets. Is this the home of Pastor Wings?"

Simba stepped forward. "Yes."

The man smiled. "We're offering a full production deal. Six episodes. Travel. Global streaming. But we'll need exclusivity—no more backyard miracles unless they're scheduled."

Steve fainted.

Rachel screamed.

Pastor Wings flapped and jumped on a drum, squawking in tongues.

Tariro smiled. "Looks like your fake life just became a global show."

Simba was speechless. Again.

That night, he gathered the squad.

"We're going global. But we have to remain grounded. This yard—this madness—is who we are."

Steve nodded. "Agreed. But I need a better mic."

Natasha sighed. "Fine. But if she tries anything romantic, I'm legally prepared to bake war."

Tariro smiled politely. "We'll see."

And Pastor Wings?

He just blinked slowly, raised one claw, and pointed at the moon.

The next chapter?

Steve tries speed dating with parrots. Natasha discovers a long-lost twin. And Simba gets an unexpected invitation… to perform in South Africa.

The Legendary Fake Life has just gone international.