Chapter 12

Parrots, Passport Problems, and a Twin Named Disaster

It was a quiet morning. Too quiet. Which in Simba's compound usually meant a storm of nonsense was on the horizon.

Steve had locked himself in the chicken shed and hung a sign on the door that read: "Recording in progress. Parrots only. No humans or drama allowed."

Inside, Steve had created a jungle-themed studio. Leaves everywhere. Plastic vines hanging from the roof. A toy microphone. And six parrots perched on a wooden pole, blinking like confused guests.

"Welcome," Steve began, clearing his throat. "To Pecking Hearts: Parrot Edition. I'm your host, Steve—the rooster with a voice and vision. Today, we help feathered singles find love… or at least a reason to squawk."

One parrot chirped. Another did an awkward shuffle. Steve looked impressed.

Outside, Simba and Natasha were dealing with another kind of confusion.

Simba held an envelope shaking like his fingers.

"Read it again," Natasha said.

Simba read aloud:

"Congratulations, Simba Gumbo. You have been selected to represent Zimbabwe in the Continental Clown and Comedy Festival in Cape Town, South Africa. Your performance of 'The Legendary Fake Life' has been deemed an international gem. Please prepare travel documents immediately."

He dropped the paper. "I don't even have a passport."

Natasha froze. "You've been pretending to be a pastor, a motivational speaker, and a chicken whisperer online… and you forgot to prepare for real-life consequences?"

Simba shrugged. "I didn't think anyone was really watching!"

Before Natasha could scream, a loud voice echoed from the gate.

"Excuse me! I'm looking for my sister!"

They turned.

There she was.

Natasha stared. "Is this a joke?"

The woman standing there looked exactly like her.

Same height. Same face. Same confused expression. The only difference was her hairstyle and an oversized handbag shaped like a fish.

"I'm Tashinga," the woman said. "Born in Harare, raised in Masvingo. I took a DNA test after I saw you in one of Simba's videos. Turns out we share a father... and drama."

Natasha blinked like a glitching robot. "This can't be real."

Simba dropped his envelope again.

Steve walked out of the coop with a parrot on his head. "Did someone say long-lost twin? Oh, this podcast just got juicy!"

The compound exploded.

Pastor Wings flapped in confusion.

Tariro, who had been sipping tea on a tree stump, dropped her cup.

"Great," she muttered. "Now we need name tags for everyone."

Natasha pulled Tashinga into the house.

"Explain."

Tashinga sat. "My mom told me years ago that my father had another daughter. She said she was... eccentric. When I saw you online yelling at a chicken and calling muffins spiritual missiles, I knew it had to be you."

Natasha rubbed her forehead. "This is too much."

Tashinga smiled. "Don't worry. I'm not here to steal your muffins. I just want to know you."

Meanwhile, Simba was at the local passport office.

The officer looked at his form. Then looked at Simba. Then looked at the form again.

"Your profession says… digital village entertainer and poultry prophet manager?"

Simba nodded proudly.

The officer sighed. "We've had lawyers, teachers, and herbalists come through here. You're the first man to claim employment by a chicken."

"Times have changed," Simba said.

The officer squinted. "Passport might take three months."

Simba gasped. "But the festival is in three weeks!"

"Then pray to your prophet chicken," the officer said, stamping the form.

Back at the compound, Steve was live.

"Breaking News," he announced to the parrot guests and 29 online viewers. "Simba might go international, Natasha has a twin named Trouble, and Pastor Wings is now fasting for a sponsorship in chicken feed from South Africa."

Pastor Wings nodded solemnly, wings folded.

Suddenly, Tashinga appeared on camera.

"Hi everyone," she said sweetly. "I'm the twin you didn't order. But guess what? I can bake muffins too. And I don't burn them."

Gasps.

Natasha burst into the room. "Lies! Muffin slander will not be tolerated!"

The parrots flew away in panic.

Steve ended the stream. "And that, folks, is what we call twin tension."

Three days later, another twist hit.

An immigration official arrived unannounced at Simba's home.

"I'm here to confirm whether your profession qualifies for cultural representation," he said.

Simba panicked. "What does that mean?"

"It means… perform. Right now. Prove you're an artist."

Natasha clapped. "Let the fake life defend itself!"

Simba took a deep breath. Grabbed a hoe. Balanced it on one shoulder. Pulled out a live chicken puppet from under a bucket. And began:

"Ladies and gentlemen, I present to you: a motivational farming tale starring Brother Eggsworth, the chicken who refused to lay eggs until he got Wi-Fi!"

The official blinked.

Steve added sound effects with a frying pan.

Tashinga held up cue cards.

Pastor Wings pecked the ground like he was controlling the rhythm.

Simba wrapped up with a line so deep it hurt: "We are the jokes we refused to laugh at, the dreams we faked until they became real."

Silence.

The official clapped once. "This… is nonsense. But powerful nonsense. You're approved."

Cheers erupted. Steve attempted a cartwheel and failed.

Tashinga baked muffins to celebrate. They were soft.

Natasha nearly cried.

Then came the final piece.

A letter.

"Simba Gumbo. Your emergency passport has been processed. You may now travel."

Simba hugged Steve, Natasha, Pastor Wings, and even the parrots.

He stared at the sky.

From fake life… to international stage.

But one last twist awaited.

As Simba packed, Tashinga entered the room.

"I have something to confess."

Simba froze. "Don't say you're not her twin."

"No, I am," she said. "But I'm also… a documentary producer."

"What?"

"I came to scout your story for a major international series. I pretended to be the twin to see how real this madness was."

Simba fell into a chair.

Tashinga continued. "And guess what? This is the most genuine fake life I've ever seen."

Natasha stood at the door, stunned. "Wait. You were acting this whole time?"

Tashinga nodded. "But I wasn't lying about the muffins."

Steve ran in. "I KNEW IT! I smelled Netflix energy!"

Simba looked at her. "So what happens now?"

Tashinga smiled. "We go international. With the whole crew."

Simba smiled.

The Legendary Fake Life wasn't just a book or a show anymore. It was about to become a global storm of madness.

Next chapter: Cape Town chaos, Pastor Wings gets seasick, Steve auditions for a soapie, and Natasha files an emotional complaint… against muffins.

Steve's parrot speed dating podcast

Natasha's long-lost twin (who isn't really a twin)

Passport panic

Simba proving art with a chicken puppet

And a fake sister turning into a real documentary deal