Tor_Andersen

He was a genius city planner. Then a disgraced shut-in. Then a baby in a goblin hut.

When Takumi dies a stupid death (instant ramen, no joke), he expects oblivion. Instead, he’s reborn as a helpless human child in a tribe of goblins. No powers. No skills. No cheat stats. Survival should be impossible.

But he’s got one thing going for him: a brain full of strategy games, city-building know-how, and an absolutely ridiculous talent for bluffing.

When adventurers attack his goblin family, he fakes being a legendary curse-bearer—and lives. Now, with monsters hunted and hated across the land, Takumi sets out to build a nation where they can finally live in peace.

No magic.
No sword.
No chosen one status.

Just lies, heart, and urban development.

The goblins call him “Soft-Skin.”
The world may soon call him king.

The Weakest Reincarnator Builds the Strongest Nation

Bonk's War Journal (Spoiler: It's Mostly Food)

(Dictated passionately by Bonk to Riri, who wrote it down word for word "because he threatened to eat the ink." Grammar has not been altered for authenticity purposes.)

Day 1 of the Big Fight (or maybe Day 2?)

Guk says it was an invasion. I say it was rude.

We were just eating lunch (mushroom stew, slightly less burned than usual), when humans came running in with swords and yelling. Which, okay, not entirely new. But they brought a lot of yelling this time. And fire. Which made the stew taste weird.

Taku said, "We must defend Underleaf with strategy, discipline, and coordination."

I heard: "Yell loud and hit stuff."

So I did! Very brave. Very loud. Threw a bucket. (Missed.)

Also, side note: fire arrows are bad for eyebrows.

Things I Hit (Victory List):

This was not on the plan. He's the big one. He hits the hardest. His blood is like... red jam, but not tasty.

When he fell, I almost forgot how to shout.

I dragged him to Riri. She did the squishy hand thing and cried a lot, but in the helpful way. Taku said, "Stay with him." I said, "You bet your soft-skin I will."

He's alive. Sleeps loud, like a snoring bear falling down stairs. Still my favorite sound.

The Reinforcements

Big goblins came from the mountains! All muscle and no pants. They hit things even harder than Guk, which is suspicious. I think one of them ate a tree. Just… snapped it.

I tried to share my dried beet snacks. They said, "What is this?" I said, "Victory fuel." They said, "It tastes like bark."

Lots of fire. Lots of mud. Lots of mushrooms that got cooked without asking.

Taku made speeches. He always does that. Sounds smart. Like a chief, but without yelling. Everyone listens when he talks, even if they don't get all the words. I do. Mostly.

He says we're not just goblins anymore.

We're builders. Survivors. A family.

That made my chest feel warm. Or maybe that was the spicy root I ate by mistake.

Important Notes from War Experience

4. Mushrooms = always good (unless on fire)

6. Bonk = brave warrior (officially)

8. Winning = better than not winning

9. Riri cries a lot, but she writes fast.

10. Diplomacy is when Taku talks and I nod like I understand.

Final Thoughts (Still Bonk Talking, Not Riri Writing Her Own Stuff)

Underleaf is home. It's weird and loud and full of traps and ferns and smart goblins and dumb goblins and Guk and stew and Taku and weird human girls who smell like books.

If anyone tries to take it again, I'll throw more buckets. Bigger ones this time.

Also, if anyone reads this and wants to send snacks, I like the sweet roots that look like angry worms.

Signed (with a stick dipped in berry juice):

Bonk the Brave (and also Hungry)

Official Defender of Guk, Bucket-Wielder Extraordinaire, Knight of the Crunchy Root

Bonk’s War Journal