The Idiot Girl and I

I woke up face-down on the floor.

Not in a cool, mysterious, brooding anime protagonist kind of way. No. I was literally sprawled like a broken ragdoll, cheek smooshed into the wood, drool making friends with the floorboards. The cherry on top? My back hurt, my neck hurt, and somehow my dignity hurt the most.

"Ugh... I'm in love," I muttered like it was a disease.

Last night was a blur. A loud, sparkly, heart-throbbing blur of Akari being cute and me turning into a stammering buffoon. I rolled over dramatically, arm flung over my eyes. Somewhere between her finger heart and that smile—that criminally cute smile—I had accepted a horrifying truth...

I, Shiwei, am now an official idiot. A fool. A simp. One of those guys...

I sighed.

And then the universe, in its infinite cruelty, decided to knock.

Literally.

A soft knock came from the front door, and I groaned. "If it's Horace, I swear I'll punch him in the chin."

Dragging myself up like a zombie who had seen too much, I shuffled to the door. I opened it—and froze.

There she was.

Akari. Smiling like the sun had personally blessed her with extra wattage.

"Hello, future boyfriend!" she beamed, practically radiating sparkles.

My soul? Ascended.

My brain? Fried.

My composure? Gone. Lost. Thrown into the ocean and eaten by emotional sharks.

I blinked at her. My mouth opened. My voice box attempted words. What came out was a noise that sounded suspiciously like a microwave being strangled.

"A-Akari? Wha—why—what are you doing here?" I managed, very smoothly, if you consider stammering like an idiot smooth.

She tilted her head, her ponytail bouncing like it had a personality. "I came to see my future boyfriend, duh. Also, I was wondering..." She leaned in with an evil sparkle in her eye. "Wanna go on another date?"

BOOM. My heart detonated.

I was pretty sure I died. Like, actually died. My spirit left my body and slapped me across the face before re-entering just to suffer more.

"A d-d-date?" I croaked.

She nodded, so excited. "Yep! I was thinking today's perfect! We can go to that festival downtown—the one with the food stalls and games and cherry blossom viewing again! You do like spending time with me, right?"

Was that a trick question? Of course I liked spending time with her! But also, spending time with her meant more blushing, more awkwardness, more chances of me looking like an emotionally compromised potato.

But still—I couldn't say no.

"Gimme ten minutes!" I blurted and spun on my heel so fast I almost tripped on my own feet.

Inside, Akari just giggled as she flopped on the couch like she owned the place.

I dashed into the shower like a man possessed. Shampoo? Too much. Soap? Accidentally in my eye. The water was hot, my brain was melting, and I'm pretty sure I used toothpaste on my face at some point.

"Okay okay okay... Calm down, Shiwei. It's just a date," I muttered as I stared at my reflection. "Just your second date with the girl who called you her future boyfriend. No big deal. Totally normal. Not panic-inducing at all."

I dressed in record time. Hair? Semi-decent. Breath? Minty. Sanity? Questionable.

As I stepped out, Akari looked up from her phone. She smiled.

"You clean up nice. Ready, future boyfriend?"

My knees wobbled. My heart gave up. My soul left a resignation letter.

I was doomed.

And I still said, "Yeah. Let's go."

***

I should've known. I should've known the moment I agreed to another date with Akari that chaos would find us like a heat-seeking missile finds a target.

Because you see, when you're with Akari, you're not just going on a date.

You're entering a battlefield with zero armor, no weapons, and a partner who has the chaos radius of a small nuclear reactor wrapped in the disguise of a cute girl with sparkly eyes and a sunshine smile.

Still.

I went. Willingly. Like a fool in love. Because I am. I have accepted it. I'm not even denying it anymore. In fact, I may have signed an emotional non-disclosure agreement with myself, agreeing to never question my growing idiocy again.

So here we are.

Disaster Number One: Akari almost gets hit by a rogue delivery cyclist who was sprinting through the intersection like he was in a Tour de Tokyo. And of course, she wasn't paying attention because she was too busy pointing out a cotton candy stand three blocks away.

"Shiwei! Look! Cotton—"

Time slowed.

Instinct.

I stepped in. Rewound three seconds. Pulled her away before she could make a very tragic introduction to the front wheel of a bike.

"Whoa! That was close!" she said, completely unaware of the temporal miracle that had just occurred.

"Yeah," I muttered, releasing a sigh that could rival a wind tunnel. "Close."

She blinked up at me with that goofy grin. "I'm super lucky today, huh?"

No, you're just dating a literal time manipulator who has to bend space-time to make sure your klutz level doesn't get you murdered.

But I didn't say that. I just ruffled her hair.

"You're the luckiest girl in the universe," I said.

She beamed, brushing my hand off like she was a cat being petted too long. Then, with a confident pose and finger guns in the air, she declared:

"I'M INVINCIBLE!"

God help me...

"Nothing can stop us from going on this date!" she continued. "We're gonna have fun! And maybe kiss at sunset!"

"Wait, what was that last part—"

"Come on! Let's walk! No bikes, no taxis, no teleporting! Just us and these romantic sidewalks!" she said, grabbing my hand and pulling me with the strength of ten toddlers hopped on sugar.

Did I resist? No.

Because one, I am weak. And two, her hands were small and warm and soft, and I am tragically and horrifically down bad.

So we walked.

Akari skipped ahead sometimes, dragging me like a leashless puppy. Sometimes she slowed down, swinging our hands together like we were in a rom-com anime opening. People probably thought we were the wholesome couple that had their life together.

Little did they know one of us was a ticking time disaster, and the other was just a glorified time janitor cleaning up the mess.

"Shiwei, look! That bubble tea place has glitter tapioca balls! Can we get one? For aesthetic!"

"For aesthetic," I echoed, already mentally preparing to rewind time in case she choked on a tapioca ball again like always.

Yes, that also happened before after shopping with her once...

Don't want to see that awkward scene again.

We sipped our drinks on a bench by the river. Well, I sipped. Akari tried to make a sword with her straw wrapper. She succeeded. It was impressive. I was proud. Slightly scared, but proud.

She held it up dramatically. "In the name of aesthetic boba warriors, I challenge thee to a duel!"

"Please don't fight me in public."

"Coward!"

I sipped harder.

And then there was a dog. A fluffy Shiba Inu that Akari had to pet. So of course, she chased it into a park, tripped on her own feet, and landed in the grass like a flying squirrel.

I caught her. Again.

Rewind. One second. Prevent fall. Reposition foot.

"Wow! Super lucky again!" she laughed.

"Yep. Lucky," I grunted, brushing grass off her hoodie.

She looked up at me with that silly grin. That infuriatingly adorable look like she trusted me with her whole being.

And I—

I knew.

This is why I keep doing it.

This is why I keep bending time around her like a safety net no one sees.

Because I like her. I really, really like her.

Even when she's a menace to society and my blood pressure.

Even when she steals my bubble tea because hers ran out.

Even when she tried to convince a street magician to let her be his assistant just because she wanted to disappear in a puff of smoke.

"Shiwei," she said, pulling me down to sit beside her by the water. Her fingers intertwined with mine. "Isn't this nice? No rushing. Just... us."

I looked at her. The way her hair fluttered in the wind, the way the fading light reflected in her eyes like stars were hiding there.

"Yeah," I said. "It's really nice."

She smiled.

And I sighed.

Because no matter how many timelines I go through, no matter how many chaotic paths she drags me into...

As long as she's happy and safe?

It doesn't matter.

I'll keep doing it.

Over and over again.

Because I'm in love with a walking disaster.

And apparently, I'm okay with that.

Even when she gets the hiccups from laughing too hard and makes me scare her like a deranged clown behind a vending machine.

Even when she tries to flirt by quoting weird historical facts she found on the internet.

Even when she does a dance in the middle of the street because she heard her favorite idol's song blasting from a passing car.

"You're staring again," she said, poking my cheek.

"Am I? Must be the glitter boba messing with my brain."

She laughed. The hiccup kind again.

Oh no.

Here we go.

Time to hide behind the vending machine again.

...But maybe, just maybe, this is the kind of madness I want to live in.

Because with her hand in mine, the world feels just a little softer.

And if chaos is the price I pay for this warmth?

Then bring it on. Again and again...

I'll fight fate, just like what Horace did once...